Episode: 96
Get Your Sh*t Together: This 85-Year-Old Badass Does More Than You & Me (Steal Her 7 Amazing Secrets)
with Judie Robbins
Meet Judie: a total badass who has it all figured out, from killer biceps to fulfilling friendships to staying mentally sharp, spunky, and sexy.
Who is Judie? She’s Mel’s 85-year-old mother-in-law.
Judie is giving you the cliff notes for living a long, happy, healthy, fulfilling, and purposeful life.
Backed by research and 80 years of experience, her love of life and ability to embrace moments of joy and give back are what make her an inspiration.
Listen on:
I don't take any day for granted.
Judie Robbins
Featured Clips
Transcript
Mel Robbins (00:03):
Judie Robbins, everybody. She's going to be 86 and she's dropping knowledge. How old were you when you ran your first marathon with me?
Judie Robbins (00:13):
70.
Mel Robbins (00:14):
How old were you when you jumped out of an airplane for the first time?
Judie Robbins (00:17):
81.
Mel Robbins (00:19):
God, if you were to talk directly to somebody who feels like they don't have anyone who loves them in their life, what would your advice be about how to get started without us skipping a beat? I would start by, Hey, it's your friend Mel, and welcome to the Mel Robbins Podcast. I am so excited for today's conversation because we're going to talk about longevity. And by longevity, I don't mean how do you live forever? I mean, how do you live a long, vibrant, connected, happy, healthy, and purpose-driven life? How do you do that? What are the guidelines, the keys, the secrets? What are the mistakes that people make that prevent them from doing that? And in order for us to really dig into this topic in a fun and entertaining and helpful way, I thought, why don't I just track down the most badass woman that I know in terms of somebody who's in their eighties?
(01:21):
Who am I talking about? I'm talking about my mother-in-law, Judie Robbins. Every single time I post some photo with her or some video with her on social media, you guys hammer me with questions. How does she have biceps in a six pack at the age of 82? How can she hold a plank for two minutes and 30 seconds? That is true. In fact, we were in bar class the other day, and we walk in and I go and grab the five pound weights. She freaking grabs the eight pound weights show off. Now I'm joking, but seriously, I have been so impressed because she has been a widow since she was 69 years old, and she lives her life in a way that makes me want to be as connected and happy and optimistic and vibrant as she is at the age of 85. She inspires me.
(02:12):
And you guys ask a lot of questions about her secrets every time you see her. In fact, I posted a photo of my family holding her up like a little doll. She's so petite at our daughter's graduation, and she had just taken a cubby and was dancing with us at graduation party. I mean, she's just an absolute hoot. And I'm not the only one who feels that way. Her friends feel that way about her. And everywhere we go, people are stunned that she is as old as she is because she doesn't act that way and she doesn't look like it. And so I thought, you know what? Let's get her on the podcast. Let's answer your questions and let's dig into what she believes are the habits, the mindset tricks, and the values and priorities in her life that have led to living such an incredible life in the last chapter of her life.
(03:06):
I mean, how amazing would it be for us all to wake up at the age of 85 and truly authentically feel like the best days are in front of us? Because you know what? With small changes, they can and they should be. And that's what we're going to dig in today. So ladies and gentlemen, without further ado, meet my friend and my mother-in-law, Judie Janks Robbins. Welcome to the Mel Robbins podcast. Alright, so there's a lot to cover, but I just have to have some highlights here. So how old were you when you ran your first marathon with me?
Judie Robbins (03:43):
70.
Mel Robbins (03:43):
So she ran her first marathon at the age of 70. How old were you when you jumped out of an airplane for the first time?
Judie Robbins (03:50):
81
Mel Robbins (03:52):
God woman, and the woman rocks a bikini. She has a six pack. She's got just ridiculously cut biceps. She exercises every day. She has more fun than anybody that I know, and she has an enormous group of friends. And I want to know, what is it? Where do we even want to start? To me, you are a complete badass. So maybe what we should do is divide this into a bunch of questions. Okay? Okay. Yep. Hold on. I'm starting to get hot. I got to try on the ac. See, I'm having a hot flash past that stage.
Judie Robbins (04:29):
Holy god. I'm past
Mel Robbins (04:30):
That. What's a day in the life of Judie Robbins look like?
Judie Robbins (04:35):
You want to know specifically?
Mel Robbins (04:36):
Yeah. What time do you wake up?
Judie Robbins (04:37):
I wake up very early because I'm old. And you do when you get old, you wake up too early?
Judie Robbins (04:47):
I have a sauna in my house, so I go downstairs, I turn my sauna on, then I make myself water, and it's the orange 1000, those packets.
Mel Robbins (05:04):
Oh, you have an emergency?
Judie Robbins (05:05):
Yeah.
Mel Robbins (05:06):
Okay. I
Judie Robbins (05:06):
Have an emergency in water.
Mel Robbins (05:08):
Okay. Vitamin C
Judie Robbins (05:09):
Blast. Then I make myself a nice latte. I get back in bed. God.
Mel Robbins (05:16):
Okay,
Judie Robbins (05:17):
I can do that now. I don't have kids running around. And then I go through my mail
Mel Robbins (05:23):
In bed.
Judie Robbins (05:24):
Yeah, on my phone.
Mel Robbins (05:26):
You go through your mail on your phone?
Judie Robbins (05:29):
Yeah. Oh,
Mel Robbins (05:29):
You mean your
Judie Robbins (05:30):
Email? Yeah. You are doing the exact opposite of what I tell people
Mel Robbins (05:33):
To do, by the way. Keep going.
Judie Robbins (05:34):
And I play one hand A bridge
Mel Robbins (05:38):
On your phone?
Judie Robbins (05:39):
Yeah, on my phone. It's a practice hand.
Mel Robbins (05:40):
Okay.
Judie Robbins (05:41):
I never seem to win, but I play it every morning. Then I go downstairs, I get in the sauna. I have a mantra that I've actually, it's a fairly new mantra that I've learned from a woman up here, which is mind blowing.
Mel Robbins (05:55):
Now, hold on a second. When you go in the sa, are you wearing a towel? Are you completely nude? You're completely nude. Yeah. Okay. Now, do you wax at your age? You just let the hair grow? Do you shave? How do you grow hair at your age down
Judie Robbins (06:09):
There? No. You lose
Mel Robbins (06:10):
Hair. You do down there?
Judie Robbins (06:11):
I have no hair under my arms.
Mel Robbins (06:13):
Really?
Judie Robbins (06:14):
Not much between my legs. Okay. So I don't need to have a Brazilian.
Mel Robbins (06:22):
Yes. No, you don't. I'll never forget when we had our kids up here visiting you one summer. Kendall was here with a couple of her friends. I think they must have been 11 years old. Right? Do you remember what the memory I'm talking about? No, I don't. You guys were all at the pond and they were skinny dipping in the middle of the day, in the sun, in the pond here in Vermont. And you stripped right down in front of 'em, and they stared at you because they saw that your pubic hair was gray. And they were like, I've always admired that about you, how you are such a free spirit.
Judie Robbins (07:01):
Well, you know why not? I have nothing to hide.
Mel Robbins (07:05):
That's true.
Judie Robbins (07:07):
And I think, don't we all want to be with people that are real? There's so many people that you can spend time with and you just say to yourself, just be honest with me.
Mel Robbins (07:20):
Right? Yeah.
Judie Robbins (07:22):
Tell me what you're really thinking, not what you're talking about.
Mel Robbins (07:24):
Yep. True.
Judie Robbins (07:26):
Anyway,
Mel Robbins (07:26):
So we're back in the sauna.
Judie Robbins (07:28):
Okay. So I meditate in the sauna for like 15, 20 minutes.
Mel Robbins (07:32):
And what's your new mantra? Are you allowed to share it?
Judie Robbins (07:35):
Sure.
Mel Robbins (07:36):
Okay.
Judie Robbins (07:37):
It's called sa and they sing it first. They go sa. And they do that for probably 25 times. And then they whisper it, and then they do it silently in your head. And while you're doing it, you use your hands.
Mel Robbins (08:05):
What do you do with your hands?
Judie Robbins (08:06):
Sa.
Mel Robbins (08:08):
Oh, so you do the fingertips and you touch your first finger, then the second to your thumb. Man.
Judie Robbins (08:16):
Now the woman that teaches it here in Manchester, she's a yoga teacher, but she has taught this all over the world to people with Alzheimer's and dementia, and has actually proven that she can stimulate your brain if you continually do that every single day.
Mel Robbins (08:39):
Well, I don't doubt it. I mean, if you listen to some of the brain experts, you're basically talking about what I believe is called, I'm going to forget the name, where you are combining a intentional thought with a physical movement. Okay. And it's one of the fastest ways to create new neural pathways. It's a whole field of study called neurobics. And that's what you're doing. You're basically, that's what I'm doing. Pairing intentional thought with a physical movement of touching each one of your fingers to your thumb.
Judie Robbins (09:14):
And I had my group, I have a group called the Vermont Chicks, which are my old friends from many, many years. And we were up here in your gym, and we had her over here for a private class. And now every one of my friends is doing it.
Mel Robbins (09:29):
Wow.
Judie Robbins (09:30):
Every morning.
Mel Robbins (09:31):
Wow. And what do you notice when you do it for yourself personally?
Judie Robbins (09:35):
I don't know. I think I'm convincing myself that I'm remembering more things.
Judie Robbins (09:44):
I don't know. It's all in your mind, right?
Mel Robbins (09:46):
It is true. Or it's not in your mind. So then after the sauna, what do you do?
Judie Robbins (09:52):
Then I come upstairs and I make myself a kombucha, apple cider vinegar and a fresh squeezed orange juice.
Mel Robbins (09:58):
Okay. Like altogether?
Judie Robbins (10:00):
Yeah.
Mel Robbins (10:00):
That's one thing that's similar to the farmer's. Swiss something. Switzer. Switzer, something like that that my grandmother used to drink of my mom drinks, which is hot water, apple cider vinegar, a little bit of honey and some lemon.
Judie Robbins (10:15):
Well, you have to mix apple cider vinegar with something. It tastes terrible.
Mel Robbins (10:19):
Yes. Okay. So now we've got our day done
Judie Robbins (10:22):
And no, then I go and walk for five miles.
Mel Robbins (10:24):
Okay. Now this I think is really important. How long have you walked five miles a day?
Judie Robbins (10:31):
Well, I used to run, I used to be a runner, and I think I stopped running, I dunno, when I was like 75, you casually and then started walking.
Mel Robbins (10:43):
Okay. When did you start running? A lot of the questions that we get because you were so physically fit and you look so young. I mean, you're going to be 86 and most people peg you in your early seventies.
Mel Robbins (10:58):
And have you ever had any facelifts?
Judie Robbins (10:59):
Every now and then I'll have a shot here and there, but not very often. I have been lucky that way. I've never had a facelift. No.
Mel Robbins (11:08):
Wow. So you walk five miles and you have walked five miles a day since I've known you, and we've known each other almost 30 years. And you get really grouchy if you don't get your walkin.
Judie Robbins (11:24):
If I don't exercise, I do get grouchy. But don't you?
Mel Robbins (11:29):
Well, some days,
Judie Robbins (11:34):
Well, when things become a habit and you can't do it, it makes you kind of upset. Yes. Because something that you want to do and it's part of your routine.
Mel Robbins (11:46):
It's what makes you feel like yourself.
Judie Robbins (11:47):
Yeah, exactly.
Mel Robbins (11:48):
So I think this is a really important thing because you have walked or run five miles a day since I've known you, and that is a core habit. And what do you notice about people that you know your age, who have continued or who are mobile versus people who are more sedentary?
Judie Robbins (12:14):
Well, I think people that are more sedentary at my age, I think they're depressed. I mean, I have a lot of older friends that would not even admit that they're depressed, but they don't go out or they, there's always something wrong. I would've done so-and-so today, but look at the day it's raining as if raining has anything to do with their day.
Mel Robbins (12:41):
Yeah, it's true.
Judie Robbins (12:43):
But I have a lot of younger friends, and that's very important as you get older, to have a lot of younger friends. I have a lot of friends. That's also very important. I think being social is almost more important than exercise.
Mel Robbins (12:58):
Why?
Judie Robbins (13:00):
Because it makes you feel loved. And if you can wake up every day and know that you've got people that love you, you feel good about yourself.
Mel Robbins (13:11):
We have a lot of people that write into this show who say they have no one. And if you were to talk directly to somebody who feels like they don't have anyone who loves them in their life, because I'm always surprised by the number of people who write in about this, what would your advice be about how to get started
Judie Robbins (13:37):
Without us skipping a beat? I would start by taking the hospice training and go and take care of somebody, because who you take care of is going to give you love, and it's going to make you feel so good about yourself. Even if you don't have your neighbor or your friend, if they don't love you, the person that you are taking care of will love you. Makes a very big difference. I've been doing hospice for over 40 years and people say, I don't know how you do that. These people are dying. It is the most rewarding thing that you can do. And your husband does it now.
Mel Robbins (14:20):
Yeah. What do you get out of it?
Judie Robbins (14:23):
A tremendous feeling of satisfaction that I've contributed to somebody's life. Like Judie, I went and saw her this morning,
Judie Robbins (14:34):
And even if I only spent an hour, this is a very good friend, as you know of mine, who has Parkinson's. If I only came in for 15 minutes, she's grateful. You just have to make the time. Can't say that you're too busy. And so for the people that feel very lonely, that don't have anybody that love them, they can create love by taking care of somebody else.
Mel Robbins (15:01):
That is such beautiful advice because we do start to look outside ourselves and look for other people to fill a need. And what you're saying is the truth, fill it for yourself first. And the way to bring more love into your life is to give it to a perfect stranger. And being part of the hospice community, that's an incredible piece of advice. Tell me more about your day.
Judie Robbins (15:29):
Well, I'm active. Obviously. I play golf a little bit.
Mel Robbins (15:35):
In fact, you played 18 holes today.
Judie Robbins (15:38):
And I walk, I don't take a cart.
Mel Robbins (15:41):
So did you walk your five miles and then go play
Judie Robbins (15:43):
18? No, I didn't.
Mel Robbins (15:44):
Okay. Because the walking 18 holes
Judie Robbins (15:47):
Serves it.
Mel Robbins (15:48):
Yes. Okay. So you play golf. What else do you do during the day?
Judie Robbins (15:52):
I play bridge, which I think is good for the mind.
Mel Robbins (15:55):
Yep.
Judie Robbins (15:56):
I have an organized group that plays at my house. I have like 40 women on the list, but I can only take 16. So I arrange them.
Mel Robbins (16:08):
So you have 16 women that come and play bridge once a week at your house?
Judie Robbins (16:12):
Yep. Wow. Okay. And I do hospice. I go see Judie, and I try and keep in touch with my grandchildren. And it's an interesting concept because I think that older people, and believe me, I've thought about this, why don't they call me? I'm old. Why don't my kids call me?
(16:40):
Why don't they pick up the phone and say, jj, how are you? But because I am healthy and I have my own social life, they wait for me to call them. How are you? And in some ways, that's a good feeling rather than feeling sorry for myself that my kids don't call me. Once they start calling me. I know it's because they're worried about me.
Judie Robbins (17:10):
And if they're starting to worry about me, then they know something I don't.
Mel Robbins (17:14):
Right. Well, I think there's a bigger takeaway for everybody, which is that so many people sit around and waste time and build up resentment and stress for themselves by wishing things were different or wishing more people would care. And you don't sit around and do that. I have witnessed are someone who is focused on her life, and as hard as it may be as a grandparent or as a mother, to sit back and go, oh, well, they're busy. They have busy lives. I'm not the center of their lives. They don't have to call me.
Judie Robbins (17:54):
Exactly.
Mel Robbins (17:55):
If I want to have a closer connection, I have to create it. And so I see you in every area of your life creating what you want, and that you don't sit around and get angry about the fact that the grandkids might not call as much as they should, or your sons might not call, or your daughter-in-laws might not call as much as you wish that they would. And you have this, you've created this ability to basically give people the freedom to live their lives, to just pour the love out. And if it doesn't come back in the way that you want it to come back in terms of the frequency of phone calls, you don't get your knickers in a pinch about it. I don't ever call you and have you go, haven't heard from you in a while. I don't. And we don't talk all that often, right. Ever. Really? On the phone? No, we don't. I never call you.
Judie Robbins (18:52):
No, you don't. But I understand that. Yeah. I mean, I get that you're a busy woman. We text. Yep. You'll say, come on over. And I come. Yep. Everybody has their busy life.
Mel Robbins (19:08):
You
Judie Robbins (19:08):
Just have to understand that it doesn't center around you.
Mel Robbins (19:13):
Right. That's true. It's important. What are other things? I noticed you're a big reader.
Judie Robbins (19:18):
Yes, I
Mel Robbins (19:19):
Am. Do you read every single day?
Judie Robbins (19:21):
Yes. I listen to a book when I walk, so I'm always got a book on Audible.
Mel Robbins (19:29):
And why do you think that matters?
Judie Robbins (19:32):
I don't want to be in my head for all that time without something to listen to. I tried that when we practiced for the marathon. Remember?
Mel Robbins (19:43):
Oh God.
Judie Robbins (19:43):
Oh my God. 16 miles. I was like, no, I have to listen to a book. And it gets me going. Yeah.
Judie Robbins (19:51):
I want to know what's happening. So as soon as I get out of the house and I start my book, I'm on my way.
Mel Robbins (19:56):
Well, what's also nice about that, especially for those of you that feel like you don't have a lot of friends in your life, is that if you're listening to a book while you're out, you actually are with somebody. You're listening to the narrator, you are learning something, you're having input, which is very, very important. When you're lonely and it's active input. It's not you sitting on the couch mainlining a series alone in your house. You're out and about and moving. And it's true. You are always listening to a book. Ever since I've known you, you've had books on tape in the
Judie Robbins (20:28):
Car,
Mel Robbins (20:29):
Now you've got books in your ears as you walk. And you have tons of books
Judie Robbins (20:35):
That I read too that
Mel Robbins (20:35):
You read.
Judie Robbins (20:36):
I try and read every afternoon for an hour or two if I can.
Mel Robbins (20:41):
Wow. I wanted to just kind of hit some topics because I remember I took you to a bar class at this place where we rent a beach house every summer in Rhode Island, and every time we walk into a bar class, you're lifting heavier weights than me. You are super bendy and stretchy, and you're sitting there pumping the iron and your biceps are bigger than mine, and everybody is floored that you're as old as you are. And so when I post, like you and I once did a plank challenge, you held a plank at the age of 82 for two and a half minutes. That's incredible. And so I've got questions from listeners and people want to know, have you always worked out or did you start later in life?
Judie Robbins (21:33):
No, I definitely started later in life in my thirties. You
Mel Robbins (21:36):
Started exercising in
Judie Robbins (21:37):
Your thirties children? I didn't have That's exercise in itself. Three kids,
Mel Robbins (21:42):
Yes.
Judie Robbins (21:43):
But no, I never had a routine. My husband and I started running in our thirties.
Mel Robbins (21:51):
And how do you maintain the motivation to do it every day?
Judie Robbins (21:57):
Guilt.
Mel Robbins (21:28):
What?
Judie Robbins (22:00):
Yeah.
Mel Robbins (22:01):
What do you mean?
Judie Robbins (22:01):
If I don't, you know how everybody talks about 10,000 steps?
Mel Robbins (22:06):
Yes.
Judie Robbins (22:07):
I look at my freaking phone to see whether I've done 10,000 steps, and if I haven't, I feel guilty.
Mel Robbins (22:15):
Well, this is what psychologists call good guilt. Good guilt motivates you.
Judie Robbins (22:19):
Yes.
Mel Robbins (22:19):
And so you, and why do you think 10,000 is the magic number?
Judie Robbins (22:25):
I don't know. They write about that and I believe all that stuff I write.
Mel Robbins (22:28):
And what's your favorite? I believe that's true. You read the New York Times? I do, yes. What's your favorite way to stay active?
Judie Robbins (22:39):
Well, getting up, like you say, right away and moving. Just moving. I have stairs, I have three floors, and a lot of my older friends say, well, why would you get a condo with three floors? Well, it's the best thing you can do. I will always walk the stairs, always my laundry's down the lower level and my bedroom's up above.
Mel Robbins (23:03):
That's incredible. That's absolutely incredible. What do you think is the biggest challenge to staying active as you age?
Judie Robbins (23:16):
Just making it a routine. I would think that's a challenge. Not to say, okay, well, I think I'll take a week off. I don't think that's a good idea.
Mel Robbins (23:28):
I don't either.
Judie Robbins (23:29):
You take a week off, then you can take 10 days off. So I don't take days off.
Mel Robbins (23:35):
What is your secret to staying young at heart and young in your mind?
Judie Robbins (23:46):
Staying connected, staying connected to your friends? Old friends. I've always had a man in my life. I've been very lucky about that.
Mel Robbins (24:01):
What does that mean? I've always had a man in my life. How long were you
Judie Robbins (24:06):
Married? 45 years. He died of cancer.
Mel Robbins (24:11):
How old were you?
Judie Robbins (24:12):
- Okay. And about a year and a half later, I met a man and I thought I'd fallen in love. And my children thought it was way too early for me to be have a man in my life.
Mel Robbins (24:28):
I didn't feel that way.
Judie Robbins (24:29):
Well, you're not one of my boys. I
Mel Robbins (24:32):
Don't think Chris felt that way either.
Judie Robbins (24:34):
Well, the other two did, but I don't think they remembered that Ken was sick for two years.
Mel Robbins (24:41):
That's true.
Judie Robbins (24:42):
So I was alone for two years as far as having someone loving me. So I was with Bill for a while, and we had our differences, and after two years, we went our separate ways. And soon after that, I met another guy who is local, and Hans and I were together for 10 years. 10 years? Yeah. Can you believe that? No. Yeah, we were. Wow. But he's the nicest, sweetest man, as you know. Yes. Love him. But he just doesn't have the energy that I have. And I was constantly arranging all our social life and all our trips. We did a lot of traveling, but I was the one that was doing it. And so I eventually got him to move back into his own house and then down the line into a retirement community, which he's very happy and I still see him. And we're very good friends.
Mel Robbins (25:45):
Yes. I love him. Very
Judie Robbins (25:47):
Good friends.
Mel Robbins (25:47):
We love hands.
Judie Robbins (25:48):
And then I met another guy who's in town, and actually it was me who met John. I mean, I knew John, but I saw him at this artist thing. You were there.
Mel Robbins (26:03):
Oh, this is when I first moved here. And I was having constant anxiety and hating my life and thinking I am now going to a place where people live when they're about to die.
Judie Robbins (26:14):
Yeah.
Mel Robbins (26:15):
Yeah. I didn't realize that's where you met him.
Judie Robbins (26:17):
Yeah. Okay. Well, I didn't meet him. I already knew him, but something else was happening later in the week, I don't know, some concert or something. And so I just went up to John and I said, would you like to go? And he said, yeah, but he also had a girlfriend in Canada, so that went on for a while. And then he gave her up
Mel Robbins (26:42):
And he picked you up.
Judie Robbins (26:45):
And so we're together and he makes me very happy, and he has a lot of energy and he organizes everything. Amazing. Like going to a dude ranch. We just got back from a dude ranch, as you know.
Mel Robbins (26:56):
Yes. So 85 years old, the two of you go off on your first trip together and you go to a dude ranch in Montana where I understand you were learning how to herd cattle on horseback.
Judie Robbins (27:10):
Yeah, we did. We did a cattle drive. It was awesome.
Mel Robbins (27:15):
And you're not like a horse person. This is not like a thing. Well, how long had it been since you had truly been on a horse? So
Judie Robbins (27:22):
I dunno, 40 years.
Mel Robbins (27:24):
Alright, so staying connected. But you went for long periods of time. Not in relationships though.
Judie Robbins (27:32):
No. Actually, I probably started seeing Han about a month after I broke up with Bill. Oh, Jesus, Judie. Wow. So you see, I haven't been alone. Okay. You're funny. Yeah. No, I'm very fortunate that way.
Mel Robbins (27:50):
Yeah. Well, you create what you want and you put yourself out there. And I also notice that connection to friends is very important.
Judie Robbins (28:00):
Extremely important.
Mel Robbins (28:02):
So how did you stay so connected to your friends when your friends literally live all over the world?
Judie Robbins (28:11):
Well, actually, Mel, I have to give you some credit here. Me? Yes. You. Because after Ken died, and I didn't have anybody in my life, and I'll never forget this either,
Judie Robbins (28:25):
This is before you started into the business. I rented an apartment in New York, as you remember.
Mel Robbins (28:32):
Oh yeah.
Judie Robbins (28:33):
By myself, which was kind of a lonely experience actually, because I went to dinner by myself. But of course, as soon as people realized I had an apartment, they started coming. But it's still, being in a big city alone can be very lonely
Mel Robbins (28:52):
Because you see people everywhere.
Judie Robbins (28:54):
But I was right next to the Hudson River, so I was running and I took my bike, so I stayed active physically. But I remember mentioning to you that I was going to go to Florida. I didn't know what I was going to do. And you said to me, pick up the phone and call some of your friends and make sure you have something on your calendar before you hit the ground in Florida. I'll never forget that. And it made a difference because I had something to look forward to. Otherwise I just had a blank slate and I probably could have felt pretty sorry for myself.
Mel Robbins (29:34):
But even beyond that, you have kept in close touch with your women friends.
Judie Robbins (29:44):
Yes. That's very important to do that.
Mel Robbins (29:46):
And how do you do that?
Judie Robbins (29:48):
You pick up the phone and call them. So many people go around the back door, and I'm going to give you an example. I have a good friend who has Alzheimer's, and she's young, and she admitted that she has Alzheimer's. So she's very open about it. And she recently, her husband got her on the new drug, the Alzheimer's drug by Biogen this winter. He was very glad that he did, and she was glad that she was on it. Three days ago, she went out to lunch with a very good friend of mine and said to her friend and my friend, I just had a physical and I'm a hundred percent all right. I don't have Alzheimer's,
Mel Robbins (30:44):
Really?
Judie Robbins (30:45):
So obviously she's coming all the way around into the denial, which she wasn't before. So this is my point. Shirley said, do you think I should call Marsha and tell her Marsha being a good friend of hers? Yeah. And I said, well, why would you do that? Why don't you call Bob her husband? Why don't you go directly to Bob? He might already know that she said that, but he might not. And say to him, I just had lunch with Connie, and this is what she said. This is what's so important in life, is that if you have a good friend that you want to talk to you, talk to them, don't talk to your other friend. That's a friend of your friend. If you want to talk to somebody on the phone, call them. And I don't think a lot of people do that. They talk
Mel Robbins (31:38):
About their friends, but they don't talk to their friends.
Judie Robbins (31:41):
That's right.
Mel Robbins (31:42):
Yeah. If you're thinking about somebody, pick up the phone and call them. If you have something that you're concerned about, pick up the phone and call them. Don't talk about what you're concerned about
Judie Robbins (31:52):
With somebody else. Well, we have another friend that is now into dementia, but is not admitting it. And the scary thing is that they're thinking maybe your husband has it too. And I haven't said anything, but I'm thinking that I need to go to Sally and say to her, are you worried about yourself? Because everybody's talking about her, but nobody's talking to her. And maybe she would say to me, what are you talking about? I'm fine. Or maybe she'd break down and say, it's true. I don't know what I'm really doing.
Mel Robbins (32:26):
Yeah.
Judie Robbins (32:27):
Because she doesn't.
Mel Robbins (32:29):
Wow. There was one other thing that I would love to touch on, because service has been such an enormous part of your life and volunteering. After your husband of 45 years, Ken died. You moved to Cambodia.
Judie Robbins (32:48):
Well, I didn't move.
Mel Robbins (32:49):
Well, what did you do? You did something that is just incredible.
Judie Robbins (32:54):
Well, I went on a bike trip to Vietnam, and I visited Cambodia and I fell in love. I fell in love with the people in Cambodia, and I was with Bill at the time. I said, I'm going to come back here and teach English. And so I got ahold of this NGO, Cambodia Living Arts and asked them if they could find me
Mel Robbins (40:23):
It doesn't matter how old or young you are, you have everything that you need to do the work to create the life, the friendships, the mindset, and the daily habits that you want in your life. Stop waiting around for other people to do it for you and wake up every day and be grateful that you have this day. And yes, I'm talking to you, whatever it is that you've been putting off, whatever griping you've been doing, whatever it is that you think you need to achieve in order to be happy, I hope you take everything we talked about today to heart, and I hope you start waking up and being grateful for what you have.
(40:56):
I hope you don't wish your life away. I hope you make today the day where you say, that's it. I'm going to wake up every day. I am going to create a morning routine that works for me. I'm going to stay close to my friends, and if I don't have any friends, I'm going to reach out and I'm going to volunteer at hospice, or I'm going to do something that makes somebody else feel better, because that will bring what's missing in my life to me, by me, by doing something for somebody else. I got so much out of today's conversation. You can reinvent yourself whenever you want. So listen up. Your age isn't stopping you from doing anything. Your excuses are now, I love you. I believe in you. Get out there and go create the life that you want. I need you here. We're doing life together, and I want your life to be long, happy and fulfilling. So we can lock arms and do it together. I'll talk to you in a few days.
Judie Robbins (41:50):
All right. I'm testing you right now. See how my voice sounds?
Mel Robbins (41:54):
I think it sounds pretty sexy. Good. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 10, 10, 10. 10, 10. What about this one? Alright, here we go.
Judie Robbins (42:07):
Okay.
Mel Robbins (42:08):
All right. You got to hold the mic up to your beautiful mouth with your gorgeous pink lipstick. Hold the mic up to your mouth, woman.
Judie Robbins (42:15):
Yep. Why do you take a probiotic?
Mel Robbins (42:17):
I dunno. But talking to the microphone. Why do you take a probiotic? Well, here you can look at me, but just make sure the microphone's there.
Judie Robbins (42:23):
Okay.
Mel Robbins (42:23):
Wait a minute. I'll be 86.
Judie Robbins (42:25):
When did you turn? 85. Remember we had my birthday. We celebrated my birthday late. Oh,
Mel Robbins (42:33):
At my house last year. We threw your party
Judie Robbins (42:35):
Here.
Mel Robbins (42:35):
Yes. Oh my God. See, I'm losing my mind. And I'm only 54.
Judie Robbins (42:40):
How fun. Isn't this fun?
Mel Robbins (42:43):
Okay. Oh, and one more thing. And no, this is not a blooper. This is the legal language. You know what the lawyers write and what I need to read to you. This podcast is presented solely for educational and entertainment purposes. I'm just your friend. I am not a licensed therapist, and this podcast is not intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist, or other qualified professional. Got it. Good. I'll see you in the next episode. Thanks for watching here on YouTube. And if you loved this episode of the Mel Robbins Podcast, you're going to want to watch this one next. It's awesome.
Resources
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- Susan Pinker: The Secret to Living Longer May Be Your Social Life
- Harvard Health and Medicine: Good genes are nice, but joy is better
- University of Kansas: How to Make Friends? Study reveals time it takes
- New York Times: Text Your Friends: It matters more than you think
- Mayo Clinic: Friendships: Enrich your life and improve your health
- American Psychological Association: Want to boost your mental health? Take a walk.
- The Washington Post: Got 11 minutes? A daily brisk walk could lower risk for early death.
- Dr. Phillippa Lally at UCL: How are habits formed, Modeling habit formation in the real world
- The Atlantic: Big dreams and small actions go together.
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