Episode: 43
Hate Your Job? Burnt Out? Laid Off? Reimagine Your Future & Take the Next Right Step
with Amy Porterfield
Need clarity and courage to make a big change?
This episode helps you see your potential and take steps toward a life you love waking up to.
Amy Porterfield has taught more than 50,000 people just like you how to go from dreading their job to designing the life and work they’ve dreamed about.
Amy is giving you the playbook for how you build a successful side hustle or business with zero prior experience.
After you listen, you’ll think differently about what you’re capable of, and you’ll get a taste of what COULD be.
Listen on:
I want them to know that there's an entirely new world waiting for them. They don't even know what's possible yet for their future.
Amy Porterfield
Featured Clips
Transcript
Mel Robbins (00:00:03):
Almost every single human being in the past three years has had some kind of reset button hit where you've gotten very clear that maybe the way that you've been doing life, it's not really what you want anymore. And so we're going to focus today on your ability to be your own boss. My guest today is a dear friend of mine. Her name is Amy Porterfield. I wanted to give you a zero cost masterclass, how to think totally differently about what's possible for you, and that's the invitation of this episode. Hey, it's your friend Mel, and welcome to an eyeopening, an incredibly empowering episode of the Mel Robbins podcast. I am so excited for the conversation today because we're going to be talking about big themes, themes like freedom, taking control of your life. And most importantly, it is my mission today to drop literally like a grenade in your head and blow open your thinking about what's possible for you.
(00:01:09):
And I've been wanting to do this show for a while because I see in the news all these people getting laid off. I myself have someone graduating from college who does not currently have a job, and the anxiety is starting to ramp up. And I also know that almost every single human being in the past three years has had some kind of reset button hit where you've gotten very clear that maybe the way that you've been doing life, it's not really what you want anymore. You have values that aren't aligned with the kind of work that you're doing or the way that you spend your time. And so I am on a mission to open your eyes to a whole different reality because whatever move you're going to make next when it comes to your career, your finances, and your life, I want it to be the greatest move of your life.
(00:01:57):
And I believe that you have the ability to do that. And so we're going to focus today on your ability to truly be your own boss. And you might not have ever thought about that because of how old you are or how young you are, or the fact that you have a really crappy mindset and you're constantly beating yourself down. I am here to tell you I am living proof that absolutely anybody can take control of their life. You can design it how you want and you can do the work to yes, you control your destiny and launch your own business. And it has nothing to do with your skillset. It has nothing to do with your qualifications. It has nothing to do with your age. It has to do with your willingness to lean into what you deserve. And what you deserve is freedom.
(00:02:50):
You deserve to be able to be at home at night with your family for dinner. You deserve to be able to have savings so that you can sleep at night. You deserve to be able to do work that's meaningful for you. And I want to wake you up today and make you realize that you are one decision away from having that happen. And so if you're new, my name is Mel Robbins. I'm a New York Times bestselling author. I am also one of the world's leading experts on motivation, behavior, change habits. And I am kind of startled when I sit here and think about this, but I only started making money online five years ago as a 49-year-old woman. So if I can figure this out, you can figure this out. And I wanted to give you a zero cost masterclass with a woman who has taught more than 50,000 people how to pivot from as young as 19 to as old as somebody in her late sixties, how to think totally differently about what's possible for you.
(00:03:51):
And that's the invitation of this episode that by the end of this episode, you're going to think very differently about what your next move might be in your career. You're going to think very differently about what you're capable of, and you're going to have a small taste of what freedom could be and the next right steps to take to start walking toward it. So my guest today is a dear friend of mine. Her name is Amy Porterfield. She is an entrepreneur who is one of the world's leading experts in launching an online business. She has taught this to literally millions of people, more than 50,000 paying students. What you're going to learn today, I mean normally to take one of her classes or to have one of her coaches coach you we're talking more than $10,000. You're going to get this at zero cost thanks to our sponsors. And thanks to Amy's generosity today, she's here. She has a brand new book called Two Weeks Notice, but the book is really about the step-by-step blueprint for making a major pivot and creating freedom in your life. I'm so excited that you're here. Amy, thank you so much for being here.
Amy Porterfield (00:04:58):
I am so thrilled to be here. Thanks for having me.
Mel Robbins (00:05:00):
You're welcome. And so here's where I want to start. So Amy, you and I have reinvented ourselves.
Amy Porterfield (00:05:06):
Yes.
Mel Robbins (00:05:07):
And in the past 14 years, we have both gone from working for somebody else to figuring out how to launch our own business. And I'm going to get to your story in a minute, but I want to put something into context for everybody. Guys. I first started making money online five years ago, five years ago, that was like
Amy Porterfield (00:05:28):
Yesterday,
Mel Robbins (00:05:29):
And I was 49 years old, Amy.
Amy Porterfield (00:05:31):
Okay, I love to hear this.
Mel Robbins (00:05:33):
If this old dog can figure out how this internet thing works and how to march toward my curiosity about it and how to learn this stuff, I mean, there are people, everybody out there who are way stupider than you making way more money than you because they stopped and they paid attention to what we're about to tell you today. You can do this. And Amy is living proof. She has taught 50,000 students, more than 50,000 students, how to even, you even start with people who are like, I have no idea what I want to do.
Amy Porterfield (00:06:05):
Absolutely no idea. Yes. That's crazy to me. And they figure it out and create incredible businesses. They blow their own minds
Mel Robbins (00:06:12):
Without any business experience.
Amy Porterfield (00:06:14):
Absolutely.
Mel Robbins (00:06:15):
And why did you want to help people do this? And what do you want the person listening right now as they're driving to a job that they hate or they're taking a walk in a neighborhood that they wish they didn't live in,
Mel Robbins (00:06:27):
Or they are unemployed, they've been laid off, they're beating themselves up. What do you want to tell them? They're going to get out of this conversation today.
Amy Porterfield (00:06:37):
I want them to know that there's an entirely new world waiting for them. They don't even know what's possible yet for their future. And it's not inside a cubicle or commuting to a nine to five job. There's a whole other world out there that you can take as your own. And the reason I know that is because that is my own story 14 years ago. So because it was a new world to me and I ran with it, now I help other people do the same.
Mel Robbins (00:07:02):
Okay? So you've got a world-class expert here that has held the hands of 50,000 people and these 50,000 plus students that she has taught everybody, they are no more smarter than you. They are no more qualified than you. They simply were in the position that you're in right now where they bumped into this conversation and it had them experience a whole different possibility for their life.
Amy Porterfield (00:07:29):
And
Mel Robbins (00:07:30):
That's my mission. My mission is to wake your ass up. My mission is to have you flush that stupid shit. You're telling yourself that you're too young. Oh, I'm just great. I don't have anything to offer anybody. How can I make money online? Bullshit. You're actually tech native. Of course you could do this if you change your mindset. Oh, but Mel, I'm not 49, I'm 60. How am I going to do this? You're going to do this by stopping that bullshit that's spewing out of your mouth and getting serious about listening to two women. She has made 85 million in the past 14 years teaching people how to do this. And you want to know why I'm saying that number because I'm damn proud of her. And I also think if you put your head down and you listen to what some expert like Amy is about to tell you, and you pick up her book and you read the blueprint, you can figure this out too. This is about teaching yourself something new. It's about telling yourself something different. And that's what we're going to do. And I want to tell you a quick story about how perspective changing things can be. And then we're going to hear your story, Amy. So I remember when I was in law school,
(00:08:31):
I grew up in a teeny tiny town in Michigan, and then I go to college in a teeny tiny town in New Hampshire. And I was sort of like your meat and potatoes kind of gal. I was not the biggest experimental eater like I am now. And I remember one of my really good friends, shout out to Sydney. She was a super cool lady and she grew up in Providence, Rhode Island, and she was multicultural family, super cool. And I remember she invited me to leave the campus, the law school campus, and go into Boston to this restaurant called Jay's. And her boyfriend who was older was going to take the two law school students with no money out. And it was a Thai restaurant, and I had never been in a Thai restaurant before. And so we sit down, I had no idea what to order, and so they just order the pad T when this thing arrived in front of my plate there, when this
Mel Robbins (00:08:38):
And I was sort of like your meat and potatoes kind of gal. I was not the biggest experimental eater like I am now. And I remember one of my really good friends, shout out to Sydney. She was a super cool lady and she grew up in Providence, Rhode Island, and she was multicultural family, super cool. And I remember she invited me to leave the campus, the law school campus, and go into Boston to this restaurant called Jay's. And her boyfriend who was older was going to take the two law school students with no money out. And it was a Thai restaurant, and I had never been in a Thai restaurant before. And so we sit down, I had no idea what to order, and so they just order the pad T when this thing arrived in front of my plate there, when this plate was,
Amy Porterfield (00:09:27):
What'd you think when you saw that pad tie that you'd never seen before?
Mel Robbins (00:09:31):
I was like, what the hell is the eggs and chicken and shrimp and these noodles? And it's like pasty, tacky, weird texture and peanuts and beans, sprouts. So I just shoveled a fork in and I just took a bite. It was like a unicorn in my mouth. It was the most delicious thing I had ever. And I had this thought, there is an entire world I have been missing out on because I just didn't know. I just didn't know.
(00:10:03):
And that is what this conversation's about. It's like a pad tie for your career. There is a whole world that you have not considered as seriously as I want you to because you just didn't know. I didn't know you could make money online. Amy's the kind of person that knows how to tap into that confidence that is inside you to make a pivot. And I know that reinvention is a hot topic. Our project on Audible Reinvent Your Life with Mel Robbins is number one on audible. Everybody is feeling this need to change something about their lives. And when you take your career and your ability to make money into an entirely different level, it's extraordinary how that impacts your life. And Amy has been able to not only teach herself how to do that, but to teach so many other people how to do that, how to find financial freedom, how to get control of your time, how to create a life where you get to work when and where, and with whomever you want to work. And do not tune this out. This is possible for you. I don't care what your life looks like right now, this is possible for you. And that's why I wanted Amy to sit here and give you a zero cost masterclass and thinking differently and taking control of your fricking life starting today. So Amy, what was your pad time moment in your career?
Amy Porterfield (00:11:22):
My pad thai moment was 14 years ago. I was working for Peak performance coach, Tony Robbins, and I had an amazing job. I was the director of content traveling the world, working on the content that he did on stage. However, I didn't realize in that moment that I had never been free. And here's what happened. Tony brought in a bunch of business owners to the San Diego office. They happened to be all men, and they were making money online. And so we brought 'em into this office. It was this big oak table, and I was called in to take notes.
Mel Robbins (00:11:55):
Okay, so first of all, were you annoyed by that?
Amy Porterfield (00:11:59):
Well, it was kind of common for the content department to take notes, but yeah, there's a little bit of me. I want to be in the action. I want to be doing the things. But yeah, I was on the side table. Oh, so you were not even at
Mel Robbins (00:12:11):
The big table with the boys? No, you were on the
Amy Porterfield (00:12:14):
Side. I was on the side
Mel Robbins (00:12:15):
Taking the notes. Yes. Okay,
Amy Porterfield (00:12:16):
So here I came into this meeting, but thank God I did because here's what happened. I started to take notes and these guys started to talk about their businesses, what they do, what life looks like, what their lifestyle is, what their family life looks like. They were really talking about their whole experience as business owners. And all of a sudden I realized, wait a second. They're working when they want, where they want, how they want. They're creating these amazing products. They're being as creative as they want to be. They're on their own time and on their own dime. And I realized I have never been free. I have never been my own boss. I will always hit a glass ceiling. I will always have to ask for a raise, always have to ask if I could take vacation. I was not the boss of my own life or my business. And in that moment, a light bulb went off and I thought, I want it. I have no idea what they're doing. I don't know how to do any of it, but I want it. And so that was the moment for me. But the next thing that happened was this flood of doubt. And I looked to my friend who was in the meeting with me, and I said, I have no skill where I could be my own boss. I know nothing that I could be my own boss.
Mel Robbins (00:13:26):
I want to stop right there because I think this moment where you're sitting in a meeting and you experience something, this wake up call happens in your body. And I've had a moment like that. It's way bigger than a pad time moment.
Amy Porterfield (00:13:46):
Yeah.
Mel Robbins (00:13:47):
I was sitting in an audience and I was at an Oprah Winfrey, kind of one of these live your Best Life tours. This would've been a decade ago, decades ago, actually, probably two decades ago at this point. And I was there because I was networking to try to get clients for my life coaching business. I had just started this on the side. I was working full time doing business development for a advertising agency in the big tech bubble that happened in the early 2000 timeframe. And on the side, I was trying to build a business as a life coach full of doubt. So I go to this Oprah Winfrey concert concert. It was actually it like an event that she held a one day summit to live your best life. And so I'm sitting in the big audience and Oprah's on stage, and then she introduces this woman that I had never heard of.
(00:14:44):
Her name was Martha Beck. And Martha Beck walks out, and I don't even remember what the hell she said. I had never heard of her. I had no clue what she did. But she started talking and there was something inside of me that was like, I want that. And it was the same thing you're talking about, which is this taste of, I've never thought about the word free because I was actually, I had lied to my employer. I had taken the day and I had told them I was somewhere else and I had gone to this thing for myself.
(00:15:22):
And so here I am completely out of integrity, getting paid by somebody else to sit in a place where I'm prospecting for my side hustle that hasn't even launched yet. And I realize when she walks on the stage, holy shit, that's what I want. And I didn't even know what that meant. I just knew that I wanted the freedom that she seemed to had. She was writing books. She was clearly writing for Oprah. She had written her first book. She was now talking about that first book on a stage. I didn't know what I would write about. I didn't know what I would speak about. I was scared to think about being on that stage. That is the moment. And so I want to hit pause and I want to talk to the person. You right now listening to us.
Mel Robbins (00:16:08):
I want to talk to you because I need you to start to pay attention to those moments. You don't have to have the answers to change your life. You have to have that moment where you go, I want something more for myself. And what I wanted is I wanted to be able to go to an event without lying to my boss. Well, I could have just not lied, but you know what I mean? Yes, I wanted to be able to go to an event because I was going to go to event. I wanted to be able to work when I wanted to work, but I did not know how the hell do you go from that moment to knowing what the hell the right next step is? Because you're right. What happens next is, well, you're dumb. You got nothing to offer. You're this, you're that. How did you go from, okay, there's all these dudes sitting around the table. I'm basically the secretary, no offense to secretaries in the corner, and I am sitting here being exposed to something that I'm not part of this club.
Amy Porterfield (00:17:06):
So the first thing, all those doubts came rushing in. And then I learned something a long time ago that if you are watching someone do something and
Amy Porterfield (00:17:14):
You feel a little bit jealous, look what they have or angst around it, which I had. I wanted what they had, even though I didn't totally get it. Whenever you have a feeling of jealousy or angst or you want it, ask yourself what do they have that you want? Get really clear what is it about their life that you think is so attractive or you'd like to go through it? Because I had to get clear about what I wanted. And in that moment I thought they get to be their own boss. That's what they have that I have never had. So I think clarity in terms of what you want is the first big step. You talk about that a lot, what do you want? And so once I got clear on I don't want a job anymore, I want to call the shots, then I had to start thinking, what would I do? Because I had no clue. So for the next few months, I kind of went through this process that now I teach called the Sweet Spot, which is figuring out what might you want to do.
Mel Robbins (00:18:07):
Wow. Okay. I am so excited to go through this with you. I cannot wait to send this to approximately 100 people because I feel like I have those kind of epiphanies probably once a week.
Amy Porterfield (00:18:22):
Yes.
Mel Robbins (00:18:23):
Even if you look at me or you look at Amy and you're like, they got it all figured out. I still have these wake up calls all the time. Oh yeah. If we just had one yesterday where we were talking about wouldn't it be nice to be able to support other female entrepreneurs with investment money, maybe we should step into starting an investment fund. And we both looked at each other and we're like, well, I don't know how to do that. I don't either, but we kind of feel interested. So that's sort of the moment we're talking about. And I want to give the audience a real range of scenarios where you could have this wake up call. Because I feel like for those of you that are in your twenties and thirties that listen to this podcast,
Mel Robbins (00:19:03):
You're probably part of the demographic that looks at everybody that is an influencer or a YouTuber, or they are travel bloggers, or they are now starting their line of supplements or they're doing exercise videos and you're now streaming exercise videos from somebody who's largely your age, and you have this thing where you're like, wow, I'd really like to do that.
(00:19:28):
What Amy and I are here to tell you is that is the power moment. That is the eyeopening moment. That's it. That awakening is the only thing you need in order to pivot your life in a new direction. Because we are lucky enough, and Amy's going to talk about this, to live in a world where if you want to create an online exercise studio, if you want to take your catering business or your grandmother's tomato sauce that everybody compliments and start selling it, you can figure out how to do it. But you have to honor the wake up call.
Amy Porterfield (00:20:11):
Yes,
Mel Robbins (00:20:12):
You have to honor this thing inside you because Amy's right. How many times have you seen somebody you're jealous of or you've had this moment of inspiration and you've been like, Nope, not going to happen for me. And so I want you to know that that's takeaway number one. That takeaway number one is that wake up call is going to change your life if you're willing to look for it. And if you're willing to hit the pause button when it happens. Now, for those of you that are like, yeah, okay, so I don't want what my life currently looks like, that's enough.
Amy Porterfield (00:20:50):
Yes.
Mel Robbins (00:20:51):
So talk to me about this thing that you walk people through.
Amy Porterfield (00:20:55):
Yes. So it's called the sweet spot formula,
(00:20:58):
And I developed it because it's essentially what I did to leave my last nine to five job and start this business. And it has four quadrants. We'll walk 'em through the four quadrants. Okay, this first quadrant of the sweet spot is what are you good at? What do people always say? How do you do that? That comes so easy to you because what comes easy to you does not come easy to everybody else. Where have you gotten results? Where have you gotten results in your personal life or your business life? So maybe you're an accountant and you do really good in your job, so you have all these skills that could absolutely translate into your own business, but maybe you don't want to be an accountant, but at home you're really good at getting your picky eater, your toddler to eat everything. And other moms are like, how do you get your kids to eat all these vegetables? What are you doing? And you have all these little secret things you do that could be a business. So start looking around.
Amy Porterfield (00:21:52):
But here's the beauty, you only need a 10% edge. When people start to think about what might I do in a business? Oh, I need more education. I need certification, I need more time. You don't need any of that. You already have a business in you 10% edge. You need to be 10% ahead of those that you want to help and serve.
Mel Robbins (00:22:08):
It's so funny, I just talked to my husband about this. So Chris is the founder of this men's retreat soul degree, and he's starting this online huddle, a nine month long program, and he's like, I don't think I'm ready. I think I don't have it all figured. I said, dude, you need to be one training ahead of everybody else. Exactly. That's all that you need to be. And I think that that's kind of one of those things that gets us in the way. I want to back up a minute though. Can you tell the story of how you went from taking notes in the corner to figuring out what to do?
Amy Porterfield (00:22:42):
Yes. How
Mel Robbins (00:22:43):
Did you do that?
Amy Porterfield (00:22:44):
So for me, what it looked like was I started to think, okay, what am I doing right now in my business that could maybe translate? And I was doing marketing in some social media and a little bit of online education kind of stuff. So I started to look at that and I liked what I did. I didn't like the fact that I wasn't free, but I liked the work that I did. So I started to think maybe I could teach social media online. It wasn't my end all be all. You just need a starter idea. I just needed something to get me
Mel Robbins (00:23:13):
Going. Okay, let's stop there. You just need a starter idea, everybody. Yes. I'm literally going to baby step everybody because every single thing that Amy's going to talk about in her own journey is one of those obstacles that you're going to have to remove. Because if you think about what you currently do for somebody else, whether it's project management or what you studied in school, maybe you were a marketing major and you spend your life on social media, you don't have a job yet. Guess what? You probably understand a lot about social media.
(00:23:43):
You seem to like it. There are things that you do naturally. Maybe your house is super insanely clean and everybody constantly remarks about how clean it is and how good it smells. Maybe that's what you just do naturally.
(00:23:58):
Maybe it's something you used to do a long time ago, but starting with, well, what are you good at? What do other people say that you like? And so that was your process. So here you are, you're still at your job, still at my job.
Mel Robbins (00:24:11):
And for somebody who's unemployed right now listening or they're a student about to graduate, what are you suggesting? Do you suggest they do this process while they're unemployed or while they're looking for a different job?
Amy Porterfield (00:24:24):
Absolutely. This is something that no matter where you are in your journey, if you have that desire, that calling that there's got to be something better for me, something different, this is what you do, you start to think about what am I good at? What could be a starter idea? And then what I did is I started to look online on social media and started to go for total immersion around what kind of business I'd want to create. So I wanted to teach social media or do social media. That's how I wanted to start. So I started to follow all these accounts on social media that were doing what I wanted to do, these other women and men that had the businesses I wanted. So the first step I did, I call it this process of embossing, which is learning or believing that you could lead yourself and you don't need someone else to lead you. So I thought I've got to emboss myself, which is I have to think like a boss.
Mel Robbins (00:25:14):
Okay, now everybody stop because I want to make sure that you have this. This is another tool.
Amy Porterfield (00:25:21):
Yes,
Mel Robbins (00:25:22):
I don't care if you're trying to get ahead in your career or if you want to figure out what to do next in your career, or you truly do want to start something and grow it into a business. Bossing yourself is a tool that you can use to change the way that you think,
(00:25:44):
Because most of us grow up in households where we see our caregivers going to work for somebody else. So you already have a mindset where you think safety comes from being somebody's employee. You already have a mindset where you believe that, oh, those benefits, oh, that salary, oh, that kind of savings account, all that stuff that I saw my parents chip away and try to do you think that that is the way to financial freedom? And what I'm here to open your eyes to
Mel Robbins (00:26:23):
Is this idea. What if you had a different mindset? What if you started to think like somebody who has their own business? And what I will tell you, being somebody that has my own business and that has a great team, it's that our team are people who think like bosses. Because a boss means you take responsibility for what you're doing. A boss means you figure shit out instead of sitting around and licking your wounds and feeling sorry for yourself that this unbossing is a process that you have to go through in order to get yourself to think differently about how you're showing up. And so what are the components of unbossing, your mindset and your actions?
Amy Porterfield (00:27:13):
I love what you said about no matter if you plan on staying in your nine to five job or looking for another job, if you get laid off or starting your own business, if you adopt the mentality of embossing yourself and you actually start thinking like a business owner, you're going to show up so much better in every area of your life. Because someone who is unbowed, they're not looking for everyone's approval. They're not asking everyone how to make a decision. They're not coming to the table and saying, I'm stuck. What do I do? They might come to the table and say, I'm stuck. What do I do? I've got these two options. What do you think is best? That kind of thing. So it's changing your mindset and really stepping into more confidence that I've got this, I'll figure this out. Watch me kind of mentality.
Mel Robbins (00:27:54):
So I want to take a question real quick from one of our listeners because I think particularly for those of you that are in the situation where you've been laid off or somebody who has been fired or laid off, that's a real kick in the teeth. And so it can be very hard to muster up the confidence. And so I want to take a quick question from a listener named Jimena.
Jimena (00:28:21):
Hi Mel. I'm Jimena from Spain. I'm being laid off some weeks ago. How do you overcome feeling this disposable? And also I'm feeling ashamed about telling people that I'm being laid off. How can I overcome this feeling? Thank you so much. Love you.
Mel Robbins (00:28:37):
Okay, first of all, I want you to understand something. It is normal to feel punched in the face when you get laid off. It is, even if you hated the job, it's normal because it's a rejection. And I can tell you a million things about how it's for the best and it is for the best. But I will also tell you, I've been fired twice, not laid off, fired. I have been told that you are not a fit for this job. And the first time was the job right before I decided to start a life coaching business. Oh,
Amy Porterfield (00:29:11):
Wow.
Mel Robbins (00:29:12):
Yeah. I was working in a tech startup and I had basically talked my way into the job. I'm sure none of you can imagine that happening. But I had talked myself into the head of the director of content, what you used to be. And I had no fucking clue what I was doing. I mean, I just was desperate. I talked my way into that job and within, I dunno, it was clear within six weeks, but the gig was up within six months. And they called me in and I knew I would literally sit at that job all day and pretend that I was working. I did not know what I was doing. I had no understanding of engineering. I had no idea how all the tech worked. I had just bullshitted my way in. I know that I'm painting a wonderful picture of myself and they fired me and they should have fired me.
Mel Robbins (00:30:03):
And it's a hard thing to grasp that it actually isn't personal. It's always a business decision. You're not a fit for where the business is going. You're not a fit for where the business needs to go. You're not a fit in terms of your skillset. That's it. That's all that it is. And it always is a really positive thing when you look back because if it's not a fit for your employer, it's not a fit for you either. But I want to say something quickly because I know that you have so many women as students, and that is that based on the research, everyone, women in particular take getting laid off. So personally that we typically see a decrease in our salaries of 24% after we've been laid off. Men typically bounce back stronger. They typically earn an average of 1.3% more when they get the new job. And I'll tell you why. Because of what you're talking about. We think we did something wrong.
(00:31:11):
We think it's our fault. And the truth is it's just not a match. And I need you to understand that it's normal to feel this way, but it's why I want you to listen to this episode because you're not meant to be in a job where it's not a match for your skills. You're not meant to be in a job where you feel trapped and you're not meant to be in a job that deep in your heart. We all know deep in our heart that it's not a fit. You can feel it's off, and it doesn't matter how good of a person you are. We've had to lay off people that we love because the company's headed in a new direction and the skills are not a fit.
Amy Porterfield (00:31:46):
Absolutely. One of my students recently got laid off after 20 years of being in the job that she was in.
Mel Robbins (00:31:51):
So tell me the story.
Amy Porterfield (00:31:52):
And so she's now in her fifties and working at this job for 20 years, doing a great job, wakes up one morning and they lay her off. And she was totally surprised by it. Never thought it would happen to her. And in that moment, she felt the shame and the embarrassment and what did I do? But then the very next thought, and this is what's so powerful, she thought, I didn't even like this job anyway. I have been staying in a job that I don't even like because it pays the bills. It is secure. And I always remind people, I'm scared there's no growth insecurity. That is not where you're going to shine when you're just always safe and secure. You got to get out of that in order to shake things up. And she realized I need to shake things up. And her next thought wasn't let me off my resume. And a lot of people that are going to get laid off this year or something's going to happen, they think I got to go look for my next job.
Mel Robbins (00:32:46):
No,
Amy Porterfield (00:32:47):
But if they just took a beat, what do you really want? And that's the part that's where I want to grab people right there and say, wait a second, what do you really want? Is it really to go back to a nine to five job or have you've been dreaming about doing your own thing, but you're just too scared to take the leap?
Mel Robbins (00:33:02):
Wow, what do you really want?
Mel Robbins (00:33:06):
That's a huge question I want you to contemplate that. What do you really want?
Amy Porterfield (00:33:13):
And here's the secret. You start with the life you want. So when I teach people how to go out and get their own, build their own business, I always say, first of all, let's talk about what lifestyle you want. Because when I was in my nine to five job one night, I was rushing home to make dinner on time. I wanted to be home with my family to sit at the table and have dinner, and I was running late. I stayed in a meeting late. I had some things to get done. It was now like six 30. I knew it was going to be too late, but I was bound and determined to get home. So I was racing to get home and got pulled over and this female cop came up to my car and already I felt flush in the face. I was just so upset.
(00:33:50):
Now I'm getting pulled over and she says, ma'am, why are you driving so fast? And I looked at her and I said, I'm trying to get home to dinner with my family. I haven't been home all week and I don't want to miss another chance to be with my family. And she said, go, just go. And it's like she understood that when you are in a nine to five job that you no longer want, everything else seems to fall by the wayside. You're not living the life that you want. So that was just one moment. I wanted to be home with my family. I wanted to actually make more money so I could invest in things that I wanted to invest in. There was so much that I didn't have that I wanted, that I kind of just started there. So you got to just ask yourself what kind of lifestyle you want and then build your career around that.
Mel Robbins (00:34:37):
Well, I think a lot of people got a huge wake up call these past three years. If the pandemic did nothing else, it certainly made you reflect on your values. It made you reflect on where you wanted to live. It made you reflect on what was important to you. And this mindless chasing of more and more, it became very clear for a lot of us that that is not the lifestyle
Amy Porterfield (00:35:03):
That
Mel Robbins (00:35:04):
We want. You had a huge move. I had a huge move all beginning with the question, what do I actually want my life to look like?
Amy Porterfield (00:35:10):
Yes.
Mel Robbins (00:35:10):
Alright, well, I want you to pause right there. We're going to take a word from our sponsors, but when we come back, we're going to take a few more questions from listeners and we're going to continue to hold your hand and walk you step by step through this process of starting to embrace the wake up call these big questions and get freaking serious about your ability of making it happen. Welcome back. It's your friend Mel Robbins. I am here with Amy Porterfield. And we're asking the big questions today of you. What do you want your life to look like? How nice would it be if you had freedom? You were free to work when you wanted, where you wanted, that you took the time to design your life, to work for you. And for those of you that have never thought about this before, you always thought, okay, I just got to get a job. I got to get a job. We're unpacking a concept called embossing yourself because I personally believe this is all mindset. It's all mindset, and you've got two strategies to emboss yourself. But before we get to those, I want to go back to the story because you had this wake up call. You're like, what are these dudes are doing to make money online? I'm figuring this out
(00:36:25):
Because I am not free if I work for somebody else and I really see and have a taste of what they have, and now I want to figure it out. And so take away number one. Everybody pay attention to the wake up call, take away. Number two, yes, you can sort this stuff out and take away number three is what did you do next?
Amy Porterfield (00:36:45):
So that's when I started to think, what can I possibly do? How do I need to emboss myself? How do I need to think in order to step into what I want?
Mel Robbins (00:36:53):
Got
Amy Porterfield (00:36:53):
It. So I really did start with my mindset. So this concept of embossing, really understanding that you could lead yourself and you do not need anybody else to tell you what to do, make the decisions for you or lead you. So once you start to think, okay, how can I lead myself? I had to take some steps to get me there. The first thing was, again, I talked about what do I want? And I went on social media and started following a bunch of people that had the kind of businesses that I wanted, total immersion I wanted. And you did an episode a while ago that you talked about when you, let's say got a new car and you started to see that car
Mel Robbins (00:37:28):
Everywhere.
Amy Porterfield (00:37:29):
It's the same concept. When I decided I wanted start my own business, I started to see bosses everywhere doing what I wanted, but I was intentional about it and I cleaned up my social media.
Mel Robbins (00:37:39):
So takeaway number one, you have this wake up call. What do you want your life to look like? Get serious about curating your social media right now so that you are immersed in the world that you want to step into. That is step one. That is what a leader does. That's what you're going to do. We all have boards of advisors. We all call experts. Like I call Amy on speed dial. When I need help with marketing, you're going to do social media and you're going to use social media and in a very intentional way to start to create that community and that mindset around you. What's the second thing you can do to change your mindset and unos yourself?
Amy Porterfield (00:38:16):
Start asking for advice.
Mel Robbins (00:38:18):
Find
Mel Robbins (00:41:40):
Who doesn't want to make money while they're sleeping? But what separates those of us who do and anybody who doesn't is literally the action. That's it. Exactly. That is it. If you're willing to go one step further than the person that just quit, you my friend, have the secret formula. There is no fucking secret formula.
Amy Porterfield (00:42:08):
Yes.
Mel Robbins (00:42:09):
You have to stop listening to the bullshit that is stopping you from taking action. I mean, this woman is sitting under her desk. I am literally at an event I'm not supposed to be at because we wanted something more for ourselves. What did you do to keep that freedom? Which is this big ass word. What did you do to keep that front and center other than having your social media feeds reminding you that this is the world you wanted to step into? It's sort of like a kid who decides, okay, I'm going to go to this college, and they're really into, the first one that popped into mind is Michigan. I'm from Michigan. Everybody loves either Michigan State or Big Blue. And so kids would wear the sweatshirts and they'd look at the school and they'd follow people and they'd buy the swag and they'd been wearing it all over. And so they're like immersing themselves in this world before they're there. How the hell do you do this for yourself
Amy Porterfield (00:43:03):
When
Mel Robbins (00:43:03):
It's about a side hustle or who you want to become because you're talking like recreate your whole damn life. Stop getting a job and get serious about what you want your life to look like.
Amy Porterfield (00:43:13):
So I started to change my identity. I'm going to be a business owner. I'm going to be a boss. What do bosses do? They listen to podcasts about building businesses. They buy the books about how to change your mindset, how to start a business, how to get things going. They buy the digital courses. I'd never bought a digital course in my life. I bought my first digital course while I was still at my nine to five job. It was all about how to do video marketing. I had no idea how to make
Mel Robbins (00:43:36):
A video. Oh, can I give everybody a pro tip?
Amy Porterfield (00:43:38):
Yes.
Mel Robbins (00:43:39):
A lot of companies as a perk, give a login to Masterclass and some of these other places. There you go. And so you can be use it. There is so much free education. You're hearing Amy, go buy, buy. Bye, Khan Academy, YouTube, all this stuff is free, everybody. That's so true. You got to be willing to look for it. If you've gotten laid off, the Harvard Extension School has free resume templates if you're willing to freaking Google it. So we have to get out of this mode of stuff's being done to you. And damn that job. And I'm embarrassed, bullshit. That job was not a fit. And you want why? You want to know why it wasn't a fit. You got fired because you got laid off. And yes, it sucks, but you get to decide now what it means. Are you going to pivot and are you going to take this as a wake up call or are you going to sit there and feel sorry for yourself?
Amy Porterfield (00:44:32):
It's so true. So yes, get resourceful. You don't have to pay for any of this. There's tons of free resources out there, even more so now than there were when I even left. But I started to, again, total immersion, fuel my mind with the right things. But here's another thing I did. I started a side hustle. And I think this is an important conversation for people right now. If you're afraid of getting fired laid off or you're just not making enough money, a lot of people listening, they think they're staying in their nine to five job, but they know they're not getting paid enough. They know they're undervalued. So the best next thing you can do is start your own thing in the mornings, nights, weekends to bring in a little extra money. Let me tell you about a student of mine.
Mel Robbins (00:45:09):
Yeah, give me some
Amy Porterfield (00:45:10):
Examples. So one of my students, her name was Rachel. She was a pharmacist, and she did this job as a pharmacist because her parents wanted her to have that job. It looked good. It sounded good. And here she is as a pharmacist during COD and hates every minute of it. Her life was miserable what she went through. And so on the side, she decided, I'm going to learn how to buy real estate. She didn't have a lot of money, but she said, I'm going to learn how to just buy a little bit of real estate and turn it into an Airbnb and see if I can make a little extra money doing that. So she researched. She started saving. She started, she bought her first piece of real estate and it did really well. And she told her husband one day, I want this to be my full-time thing. And he laughed at her like, no, you're a pharmacist. You're not going to do that. But she kept at it and she kept at it. She made $300,000 last year when she figured out how to get this real estate and get the money to invest and all of that. Quit her pharmacy job and never has looked back.
Mel Robbins (00:46:10):
So is this somebody with a trust fund?
Amy Porterfield (00:46:12):
No, not at all. This woman was scrappy. Let me tell you another story of someone who didn't have a lot of money, because I know some people,
Mel Robbins (00:46:19):
Because people don't have a lot of money. Most people are paycheck to paycheck. Most people are like, that sounds great, but I've got no money for a course. I am definitely going to pick up the book two weeks. Notice that you just wrote Amy, for the step-by-step guide, but I don't have a lot buy real estate. What are you talking about?
Amy Porterfield (00:46:33):
Yeah. Okay, let me give you a better one. So this one is from my student Tara, and she was an accountant for 15 years in a very small town, and she's a single mom. And she said, I need a raise. I'm not making enough money. She went to the company and said, I'd like a raise. And they looked at her with blank stares like, that's not even in your future at all. And she realized I've got to do something. So she was really good at making wreaths. She made these beautiful wreaths.
Mel Robbins (00:47:01):
Wreaths.
Amy Porterfield (00:47:02):
Yes.
Mel Robbins (00:47:02):
You mean those round things that we hang on our doors?
Amy Porterfield (00:47:05):
Yes.
Mel Robbins (00:47:06):
She made these. Okay, so she's really good at reath. So I want to go back to something. Remember how Amy said you've got to go through the sweet spot exercise, by the way, tons of resources linked all in the show notes on every single platform.
Amy Porterfield (00:47:17):
Yes.
Mel Robbins (00:47:17):
But I want you to hear this. This is a person who has been told by people forever that she does a good job making wreaths. Yes. I know what you're thinking. Everybody. You're thinking, Mel, I have a mortgage to pay Mel. I have student debt. Mel, I am not starting a fucking business making wreaths because I will not be able to pay my bills doing this. Here's what I want to tell you. You have no clue what you're capable of, but what you're capable of right now is shooting down every single idea you're putting all your energy into, coming up with reasons for why not, why it's stupid, why you can't. What if you put half the amount of energy into why the fuck not?
Amy Porterfield (00:48:05):
Yeah,
Mel Robbins (00:48:06):
Why not make Reese? Why not see where this goes?
Mel Robbins (00:48:10):
Why not Instead of flopping down in front of Netflix tonight because my soul is sucked dry from my job search or my job that I go to or worrying about, why not invest that same time that I procrastinate at night into creating a little bit of a side hustle, tasting, a little bit of freedom, saying yes in a little way. Why not
Amy Porterfield (00:48:36):
Just a starter idea.
Mel Robbins (00:48:37):
That's all she had starter. That's she
Amy Porterfield (00:48:39):
Had. Yes. So she wasn't saying, I'm going to quit my job tomorrow making wreaths. She just thought, I got to bring in some extra money. I better get scrappy.
Mel Robbins (00:48:46):
Yes.
Amy Porterfield (00:48:46):
So she started making these wreaths, selling them on Etsy, and she was doing really well, bringing in like a thousand dollars a month extra.
Mel Robbins (00:48:53):
That's pretty good, right? That's like take the kids to Disney money.
Amy Porterfield (00:48:56):
Exactly.
Mel Robbins (00:48:56):
That's pay the bills
Amy Porterfield (00:48:57):
Money. So she's like feeling a little bit. That's another thing. You start to feel a little confident when you start to take some action and get some clarity like this is actually working. So what happened was her friends started seeing her make money on Etsy, and they were making crafts, and they weren't making any money on Etsy. And they said, teach us how you're doing that. That's what I want to know. And that's where it started to click for her starter idea was not going to pay the bills. However, she took action, got some clarity, started to listen to what people were saying, and they said, teach us how you're doing that. So she created a little mini course teaching other people how to put their crafts online and make money with Etsy. A hundred thousand dollars later, this woman never in a million years thought she'd make a hundred thousand dollars teaching other women how to put their crafts on Etsy.
Mel Robbins (00:49:44):
So how long of a period of time from the idea of, oh, I could. Because first it becomes, I want everybody to pay attention because I'm trying to open your eyes to the fact that your whole life can change because of one wake up moment and the willingness to lean into something that you naturally do well or you're naturally interested in. I'm going to put an example into this in just a minute, but this willingness to lean into what you're naturally good at and other people compliment you on. I've never thought about it this way. Not so that it pays your mortgage, but so that it gives you a taste of freedom and it taps into this power and resource, resourcefulness and moxie that is inside you.
(00:50:31):
Because when you start feeling that, you'll start thinking even bigger. And so I'm thinking about this because, and I'm going to offer up an example because it literally could be anything. I think about my daughter, Sawyer, who constantly is complimented for her interior decorating style and skills, no training. And I keep thinking to myself, boy, she could do a whole Instagram strategy of designing on a budget. She could do a whole thing about how you design a killer dorm room for X number of dollars or how you design your first apartment. I'm thinking about another kid. I have a neighbor whose son, senior year of high school, no joke, made almost $30,000. You want to know how, I'll tell you how. He saw one video, one video. He Googled how to make money online. One video of this business where you advertise a service of picking up people's stuff like couches they don't want. And then you list it for sale on Facebook marketplace and you deliver it to somebody else.
Amy Porterfield (00:51:39):
Brilliant, brilliant and scrappy. I like scrappy ideas.
Mel Robbins (00:51:43):
And so I'm not suggesting you'll make millions. Maybe you will, because maybe you'll turn it into a junk removal business. Maybe you'll turn it into something else. But you are limiting what's possible because you won't even lean into something like the wreath idea or the idea of starting an Instagram account that is about decorating on a budget because you tell yourself it's not possible. I can't do it. Somebody else has already done it. Do you have another example of somebody who just was either really old or really young that did this?
Guests Appearing in this Episode
Amy Porterfield
Amy Porterfield is a digital marketing expert, author, and educator specializing in empowering entrepreneurs to grow their businesses online.
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Book: Two Weeks Notice
Through sharing her tried and true strategies, inspiring stories, and mindset shifts, Amy Porterfield, host of the top-rated podcast Online Marketing Made Easy and a 9-to-5 escapee who built an 8-figure online business on her terms, reveals:
- Why you don’t need to know exactly what your business is going to be to get started
- Tips to navigate the 5 most common boss traps, including self-sabotage and “superwoman syndrome”
- How to use your 10 percent edge to build a foolproof marketing plan
- The keys to set up your business to avoid trading your time for money
- How to craft your first offer and overcome the fear of putting it out there
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Podcast: Online Marketing Made Easy with Amy Porterfield
Ever wish you had a business mentor with over a decade of experience whispering success secrets in your ear? That's exactly what you'll get when you tune into the top-ranked Online Marketing Made Easy Podcast with your host, 9 to 5er turned CEO of a multi-million dollar business & NY Times Best Selling Author, Amy Porterfield. Her specialty? Breaking down big ideas and strategies into actionable step-by-step processes designed to get you results with a whole lot less stress.
Resources
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- Inc. Magazine: Studies: confidence is more important than competence for success.
- Read The Confidence Code for everything you need to know about self-assurance.
- Harvard Business Review: Why women don’t apply for jobs unless they’re 100% qualified.
- CNBC: How older workers can push back against the reality of ageism.
- Entrepreneur Magazine: How to start a side hustle without quitting your day job.
- U.S. Chamber of Commerce: How to fund your small business.
- Forbes: How to figure out what you want to do.
Free online courses and resume tips mentioned by Mel:
- Harvard University: free courses.
- EdX: free courses from more than 160 member universities
- Khan Academy: free online courses
- Coursera: free online courses from universities
- Stanford University: free online course database
- List of free online marketing courses from HubSpot
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