I Don’t Usually Share Advice Like This: 6 Lessons on Making Any Relationship Work

In this episode, I’m getting brutally honest with you about relationships. 

Our conversation begins with a question from a listener who asked me for advice on how to make your relationship go the distance in this messy modern world.

I’ve always shied away from giving relationship advice, mainly because after 26 years of marriage, I know the only secret is this: it takes a lot of consistent work.

I also don’t consider myself an “expert” on the topic because our relationship seems to always need attention. It’s so easy to silently retreat to your corners and not address the issues. And there were years where we did just that.

In fact, over the past few years, Chris and I have been working through some really heavy issues with a couples therapist.

Today I share very personal revelations I’ve had about my own role in causing problems between us. After all we’ve been through, I’m really proud of my husband, Chris, and me for making it this long and doing the work to make it better.

In the process of working hard to improve our relationship, I learned six powerful lessons that I felt compelled to share with you. Not because I hold the magic wand, but because I hope these lessons will save you the pain and heartaches I’ve caused myself and my husband.

No matter what kind of relationship you might be in, working on, struggling with, or hoping to save, these six lessons will provide a roadmap to make it better.

Whether you are married, dating, divorced, happily single, or experiencing a falling out with a friend, this episode will have something for you.

About halfway through, another listener asks,

“What do I do if my partner doesn’t want to do the work?” 

In that case, there’s just one rule for when it’s time for you to move on.

Oh, one more thing, if you and your partner are having a hard time… Share this episode with them. It’s a simple way to open the door for a much-needed conversation.

Xo Mel

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In this episode, you’ll learn:

• 0:30: The one question you often ask that I put off answering for a long time.
• 3:30: Here’s the hard truth you should know about my marriage.
• 6:30: Here’s what I think about “staying in a marriage for the kids”
• 8:30: The concerning relationship trend I see happening.
• 15:00: Would I be better off without my husband?
• 18:15: This is the only way relationships work out.
• 24:30: What I was doing wrong in my own marriage.
• 28:00: 6 pieces of advice for any relationship.
• 37:30: Here’s why the way you react to your partner’s good news matters.
• 43:00: What do you do when your partner isn’t growing with you?

Resources and go deeper:

• For Closed Captions: Watch on YouTube and turn on “CC.” For instructions to turn on closed captions, click here.
• Scientific American: Is Divorce Bad for Children?
• The New York Times: 6 Ways to Strengthen Your Relationships in 2023
• UCLA: Want a happier marriage? Stop demanding change from your spouse
• The New York Times: Reaction to Good News Matters More Than Reaction to Bad
• Esther Perel: A Game of Stories to bring you closer together
• Udemy: online couples counseling courses
• The Gottman Institute: Relationship resources for couples
• Check out these recommended 10 best books for relationship advice

This podcast is not meant to be a substitute for therapy and is for educational and entertainment purposes only. It is my passion, however, to bring you free and accessible content that can help you change your life for the better.