How to Build Closer Friendships & Get Rid Of Loneliness

Why is adult friendship so hard?  

Today, Mel is finally having the conversation on how to find your people, have more fun, and create meaningful friendships as an adult. 

In this deeply relatable episode, you’ll learn the 5 lies that you tell yourself about friendship that are keeping you from having the best relationships of your life—and the truths you must know. 

If you’ve been feeling lonely, left out, or just like your friendships are not as strong as they used to be, you’ll feel empowered and encouraged by the time you finish listening. 

Mel is giving you her exact 3-step playbook for finding, making, and strengthening your relationships. This is an encore episode with new and exciting insights from Mel at the top of the episode, that is packed with tools, tips, and scripts to create more meaningful friendships. 

If you liked this episode, especially the last 10 minutes of it (you’ll have to listen to know what I’m talking about!) you’ll love this one next: This One Hack Will Unlock Your Happier Life

Connect with Mel:

• Watch the episodes on YouTube
• Go deeper with Mel’s free video course, Make It Happen‍
• Follow Mel on Instagram ‍
• The Mel Robbins Podcast Instagram‍
• Mel's TikTok ‍
• Sign up for Mel’s personal letter ‍
• Disclaimer

In this episode:‍

• 3:31: Do you make this same mistake while scrolling through social media?
• 5:46:  If you're doing this, you're sabotaging your friendships.
• 7:28: If you take away anything from this episode, let this be it.
• 10:15: The first lie you tell yourself that’s preventing true friendship.
• 12:18: We all do this, and it makes you feel like a loser.
• 14:49: You don’t need a lot of friends; you only need THIS type of friend.
• 19:47:  This Ivy League research reveals why you hesitate reaching out to new friends.
• 24:40: You’ve been lying to yourself about this type of friendship. 
• 27:49: Holding on to old friendships that no longer work?
• 31:27: If you’re a people pleaser, you need to start doing this instead.
• 39:20: Use this tool to become flexible in your friendships.
• 43:39: How many hours it takes to make a new friend, according to research.
• 51:16: Do this one thing every day to strengthen your friendships.

‍Resources:

• British J of Clinical Psych: Link between emotional regulation and loneliness.
• Stanford Center on Longevity: Strong relationships help you live longer.
• Harvard Second Generation Study: Harvard Study of Adult Development
• The Atlantic: Longest study in human health found the key to a good life.‍
• Susan Pinker’s Ted Talk: The Secret to Living Longer May Be Your Social Life ‍
• The Liking Gap: do people like us more than we think? - Research out of Harvard, Yale, Cornell, and University of Essex‍
• Good genes are nice, but joy is better - Harvard Study of Adult Development‍
• How to Make Friends? Study reveals time it takes - University of Kansas research‍
• Text Your Friends: It matters more than you think - New York Times article‍
• The Surprise of Reaching Out: Appreciated More Than We Think - University of Pittsburgh research‍
• Why Your Social Life Is Not What It Should Be - New York Times article. Go deeper into Nicholas Epley (U. Chicago)'s research: here and here‍
• Surgeon General Advisory Raises Alarm about the Devastating Impact of the Epidemic of Loneliness and Isolation in the United States - U.S. Department of Health and Human Services ‍‍
• The Harvard Gazette: Your relationships are critical to your health.‍
• TED: The secret to a happy life: lessons from 8 decades of research.‍
• University of CA, Berkeley: Why your friends are more important than you think.‍
• The Atlantic: How to make friendships, according to science.
• Mel’s episode on Call Her Daddy about friendship: Where Did All My Friends Go?‍
• Glo Atanmo – she sent Mel the voice memo! Her Instagram, her website

Listen Next: Listen to this powerful episode on how to find your people with Trent Shelton: 5 Things Only Fake Friends Do & How to Let Go of What No Longer Serves You

Learn the groundbreaking research and heartwarming stories that will prove just how powerful unexpected connections can truly be: Transform Your Life at Any Moment: The Surprising Science of Happiness

‍Listen as Dr. Robert Waldinger explains the relationship between connection and happiness: What Makes a Good Life? Lessons From the Longest Study on Happiness