The #1 Neuroscientist: After Listening to This, Your Brain Will Not Be the Same

Dr. Tara Swart Bieber (00:00:06):

Things like manifestation, visualization, affirmations, these are all things that prime the brain more towards thriving than just surviving. Let me put it like this. If you and I both wanted to learn Spanish, yes, and you wanted to learn it because you were planning a vacation to Mexico, but I wanted to learn it because I had a Spanish boyfriend. Who do you think is likely to learn it more or better? Yeah. Our listeners' brains are actually going to be different at the end of this podcast than they are right now.

Mel Robbins (00:00:41):

I am so fired up that you're here with me. This conversation is so exciting because by the time you're done listening and learning from our guest today, your brain is not going to be the same. You're going to learn today how to use science to rewire your brain so that it can help you get what you want. This is so fricking cool. And before I introduce you to today's remarkable expert and we jump into the conversation, I have something really exciting that I want to share with you as a thank you to you for helping make this podcast

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What is it? Oh, you're going to love it. It is a two part video training. It's almost two hours long. It's brand new. It's backed by research. I created it and I teach it and check this out. This two part video training, it comes with a free 25 page workbook. I'm holding this sucker right now. If you could see me on YouTube, you would see this gorgeous green workbook, 25 pages based in science. The training is called Make It Happen, and you can access it at mel robbins.com/make it happen. Now, this free two-part training teaches you how to take confident, consistent, and inspired action. And that's important because when you start taking confident, consistent, and inspired action, you tap into the power that is inside you to create a better life. And I know you learn a lot listening to this podcast every Monday and every Thursday, and I love that and I love how it inspires and empowers you.

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And I want to remind you though, I don't want you to just listen. I want you to apply what you're learning. I want you to act because nothing in your life is going to change unless you start doing something different. And it would be a real honor to spend almost two hours teaching you how to master execution. Just consider this zero cost training. My thank you, thank you for spending time with me. Thank you for spending time investing in yourself by listening to this podcast, and thank you for supporting the work that I'm doing. Just go to mel robbins.com/make it happen. Super easy to get your access to this, and it's going to help you go even deeper into everything that you're going to learn today on the podcast. So let's talk about the conversation we're going to have today because world renowned Dr. Tara Swart Bieber is in the house.

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Dr. Tara is a medical doctor, neuroscientist, psychiatrist, and senior lecturer at MIT Sloan School of Management, and she runs the Neuroscience for Business Online Program for MIT. She's also a bestselling author of the book, the Source, and the host of the podcast. Reinvent Yourself with Dr. Tara. I love her because she's a scientist who used to be a skeptic when it comes to things like intuition and manifestation, but today she's here to teach you that yes, you can change your brain, you can become the person that you want to become. You can train your brain to help you spot opportunities. You can learn how to make your thinking more positive. You can learn how to lead a company. You can become more agile and happy and successful in life. And Dr. Tara is here to give you the very tactical things that you can start doing immediately based on the best research in the world. We're going to cover how to change your brain in three different ways. You'll learn the real science behind manifestation and the neuroscience that explains intuition. Are you ready? I know I am. Please help me welcome Dr. Tara Swart Bieber to the Mel Robbins podcast.

Dr. Tara Swart Bieber (00:04:30):

Oh, Mel, it's so amazing to finally be here in person with you. I've been looking forward to this for so long.

Mel Robbins (00:04:35):

Well, thank you so much for jumping on a plane and flying all the way from London and spending time with us in person. I am so excited. And I guess I want to start by having you speak directly to the person who is listening to us right now. Could you share with them how their brain or their life might change based on what you are about to teach them today?

Dr. Tara Swart Bieber (00:05:01):

Yeah. So one of the things we are going to be speaking about is neuroplasticity, which is the fact that the brain can grow and change throughout life. Unlike the fact that we used to think that by the time you physically stop growing around the age of 18, that your brain is fixed, that your personality's fixed, your IQ is fixed. We now know that those things are very fluid depending on what you do. But I want to bring that down to the here and now just to make it feel really real, which is that by the end of our conversation, because the brain is being molded and shaped constantly by what you're listening to, who you're meeting, what you're recalling in your memory, the emotions that you're feeling, our listener's, brains are actually going to be different at the end of this podcast then they are right now.

Mel Robbins (00:05:47):

How does that happen?

Dr. Tara Swart Bieber (00:05:49):

Well, so neuroplasticity means that the brain is taking in information through the five senses. So everything we see, hear, smell, taste, touch, and kind of in real time thinking, how do I need to be to survive in this world? It usually comes down to survival. And what I think I'd love to do today is help people move from the brain reacting for basic survival to what else can you make your brain do to thrive in this world?

Mel Robbins (00:06:16):

I know we're going to go deep on this, but can you just at a high level tick off a couple things that you can train your brain to do that you might not know that you can train your brain to do?

Dr. Tara Swart Bieber (00:06:28):

Yeah, so things like manifestation, visualization, looking at vision boards, which I actually call action boards, but we'll come to that affirmations, these are all things that prime the brain more towards thriving than just surviving. Because if you leave your brain to its own devices, all it wants you to do is live long enough to reproduce. So what's it going to do to make that happen? Make sure you put food on the table. That means pretty much that you need to turn up to your job daily and not get fired. So you need to keep a good relationship with your boss. You need to keep a good relationship with the person that you'll potentially reproduce with. That's not enough for most people. We want more than that out of life. So if your brain's taking care of that anyway, what do you want to put front of mind to make your brain look out for opportunities for the things that you dream of that you really, really want with what I call magnetic desire?

Mel Robbins (00:07:21):

Magnetic desire. How do you define magnetic desire?

Dr. Tara Swart Bieber (00:07:27):

Well, the way that neuroplasticity works in the brain is through repetition and emotional intensity. So let me take it back to the survival things we were just speaking about. If you think I want to get married and have a family, what all my friends are doing, there may not be a huge emotional intensity behind that. That may be more to do with societal parental peer group expectation. If when you were a kid you dreamt of being an actor, then if you actually try to start doing that, even if it's hard, that was your dream. That was what you feel you were put on this earth to do, you'll endure barriers and obstacles and refusals and difficulty and keep going, whereas for other things you might not. We know that idea of giving up just before you dig up the gold, right? If you've got magnetic desire, you won't give up. That's where the motivation piece comes in. And all of these are the science behind what contributes to manifesting what you want.

Mel Robbins (00:08:32):

So let's talk about manifesting. Have you always believed in manifesting?

Dr. Tara Swart Bieber (00:08:38):

So looking back, I actually think I did it as a kid naturally, and it's so chicken and egg for me, whether I got drawn to neuroscience and manifestation because that was innate in me from a child or whether I now live my life in that way because I've done so much research on it, I honestly dunno the answer to that. The more I do the research, the more I consciously bring these things into my life. I look back and think that's what I was like as a kid. That's what I was interested in as a kid. But I would say that once I studied the sciences in high school and then went to medical school, it worked slightly differently in the UK and did my PhD in neuroscience. And certainly by the time I got my faculty position at MIT, I was a complete skeptic about manifestation.

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Those two things could not exist in the same world as far as I was concerned. And that's partly down to how I had to live my life as a child because my parents were first generation immigrants from India to the uk and I went to school in London and I just wanted to be like all my friends and do the same things as them. But I would come home, my mother would be in a headstand and there would be incense in the house, and there was meditation and chanting and things like that. So I thought, okay, that happens at home. This happens at school. And I learned very well to separate those things. So then I became a medical doctor specializing in psychiatry, and you were diagnosing people with magical thinking and delusions and hallucinations, so you couldn't really say, oh, but I believe in manifestation. So again, I had to keep those things really separate. And it wasn't really until I started doing my research to write the source that I realized how together these things could be.

Yeah, there are a few because I think these things sort of build up, don't they? So I was, in 2017, I was the world's first neuroscientist in residence at a five star hotel in London. So I was already doing quirky things with my career. And because it was unusual, there was a lot of press and I was approached by Penguin Random House to write a book, and they said, we've had really amazing books on one on meditation, one on diet, one on sleep, one on exercise. And we think as a neuroscientist you could bring all of those together. And without thinking I said I could do that, but I've got an idea about the cognitive science behind manifestation and vision boards, and they just said yes straight away. So I think their response made me think that could be a thing, but I wasn't convinced myself. So before I started writing, I went on a summer vacation with my laptop, which is unusual for me. And I just started looking into the laws of attraction and trying to figure out is there cognitive science that can explain these things?

Mel Robbins (00:11:39):

And for somebody listening who does not know what the law of attraction or manifestation is, could you give us your definition?

Dr. Tara Swart Bieber (00:11:46):

They're basically all about the fact that if there's something that you really want in life, then if you think positively about it or you believe in certain vibrations of attraction in the universe, then you can bring that thing into your life. And manifestation is bringing into reality something that you want. But until I started looking into the cognitive science behind it, all the explanations so far had been to do with quantum physics. And for me as an empirical scientist, that wasn't enough for me to believe in those things. And equally, I felt very disempowered by the fact that it was happening because of something outside of me. I wanted to feel like it was happening because of my brainpower and that I had some autonomy over it.

Mel Robbins (00:12:38):

And do you believe based on the research that you've done, that you attract things into your life because of your brainpower?

Dr. Tara Swart Bieber (00:12:45):

I believe it a hundred percent. When the book came out, people that I knew personally who were not scientists at all said, I've always been interested in this, but I've never actually acted upon it because I couldn't understand how it worked. But now that you've explained the science, I'm actually doing the steps that I've heard of before actually, but that you've repeated in your book. So the writing process did bring it together for me quite a lot, but it was actually the response from other people. So it started with people I knew, and then it started on social media just being thousands of people that I will probably never meet in my life saying, because you've put the science to it, it's completely changed my view of these topics.

Mel Robbins (00:13:28):

So what are the steps to manifesting based on the research? So you attract what you want in life?

Dr. Tara Swart Bieber (00:13:34):

So it starts with abundance. Now in the brain, we have the strongest gearing that we have in our brain is called loss aversion or loss avoidance. And that was the survival mechanism from when we lived in the cave, which was that if you saw a juicy apple on a tree and you really wanted it, but you ignored the fact that there was a saber tooth tiger standing next to you, you would die. So we had to want to avoid loss more than we wanted to get reward.

Mel Robbins (00:14:06):

So you've got to avoid the tiger more than wanting the apple.

Dr. Tara Swart Bieber (00:14:09):

Exactly.

Mel Robbins (00:14:10):

And so we're wired toward, as you mentioned earlier, survival. Absolutely. And through manifesting, you're about to teach us how to rewire our brain and train it toward abundance.

Dr. Tara Swart Bieber (00:14:22):

Yeah, thriving. I'm not going to completely wire it the other way because we still need to be safe. Even in the modern world where the threats aren't so much physical predators, there are psychological threats to our safety like job loss, relationship loss, et cetera, but it doesn't serve us to be that strongly geared to loss avoidance. So what we want to do is balance that out a bit more or in a safe situation, understand that we absolutely can take healthy risks and believe that there's enough for everyone and not live from that scarcity mindset. So that's the first piece. The second piece is magnetic desire, which we've already somewhat discussed, but once you're feeling abundant, then if you can be really aligned in your head, your heart, and your gut about what it is that you want, then that desire, that motivation will keep you going and help you get the things that you want that you might've given up on.

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So there is an element of patience required because this process of neuroplasticity involves neurons wiring together to form new strong pathways that are stronger than the pathways that you had before. And so that means that it feels like a lot of hard work is going on. Psychological work is physical work going on in the pathways in your brain, but that nothing's changing in the real world. And there's a real tipping point where there's enough neurons in a pathway that certain new habits and behaviors or being patient becomes easier and it kind of feels like nothing, nothing, nothing. And then suddenly, oh, things are happening. Things are changing. I'm getting the things that I want. So if you put those three behind manifestation, then that is about priming your brain to notice and grasp opportunities in the real world that can bring you closer to the things that you want. It's exactly the same process as if you buy a new car, you suddenly notice that car all over. It's the same. So it's a brain priming process.

Mel Robbins (00:16:28):

Oh, well that makes sense. It's why you suddenly see Jeeps everywhere When you are looking at buying a jeep, can you explain the kind of neuroscientific, I don't even know what the right word is. What is the scientific explanation for why you see cars when you're interested in buying a car or how the new neuropathways are changing your brain in real time? What is actually happening when you tap into magnetic desire?

Dr. Tara Swart Bieber (00:16:56):

So basically, we're overloaded with information constantly,

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And the brain has a natural filtering mechanism called selective filtering. This relates back to what I was saying about if you leave your brain to its job of just making sure you survive, it will filter out all those other things that you actually really want, but they're not essential to your survival. That's why you have to make a list or make the vision board or remind yourself every day of what it is that you truly magnetically desire to put that to the top of the list for your brain. Because after selective filtering, it does selective attention, and that is noticing the red car or the Tesla or whatever it is that you are noticing. So once you've filtered out the things that you don't want to notice, then you narrow it down to the things that you do want to notice. And then the third part is called value tagging, which is the brain actually tags those things in order of importance,

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And it does that in two lists. So it does it in a logical list and it does it in an emotional list. And that's where the magnetic desire is important. That's where you say, no brain, I don't want it in that logical order. I want it in this order. This is what is really important to me. This is what makes me feel alive. This is what makes me understand that I have a purpose for my life. And it's not just put food on the table, stay in your job, stay in your relationship. It's so much more than that. So a classic example is I really want to find a partner and settle down and get pregnant.

Mel Robbins (00:18:29):

Yes. How could you go through the steps of manifestation to help you achieve that?

Dr. Tara Swart Bieber (00:18:35):

I would explain the process of manifestation that's underpinned by neuroplasticity, which is a four step process. Raise your awareness,

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Focus your attention, do deliberate practice and hold yourself accountable. And it starts with raised awareness. I always say that's 50% of the battle. Sometimes we don't really know why we are not doing the things we know we should be doing or why we're potentially those behaviors. But instead of taking the supplements that would set my body up for good fertility, I'm going out partying. That's the way I think I'll meet a new partner. So the awareness piece comes very much from journaling or not so much speaking with friends sometimes because if they're in the same place or everyone has an agenda for your single friends, might want you to say single, that kind of thing. But maybe talking to a therapist or a coach or doing some proper soul searching and trying to understand why you are not doing the things that you could be doing, why some of the things that you're doing really easily, why are they so easy? How do they fit into your lifestyle well, and really what it is that you actually want. Do you actually want to settle down and have a family or fine if you actually want to be out partying, fine. Just say that and do it and be aligned and don't kind of do the thing that you want, but pretend that you want something else. It's all about that.

Mel Robbins (00:20:05):

So that's so step one, and let's just stay with your example. Somebody who is single, who really wants to meet a life partner and be in a committed relationship and start a family, that the first step is for you to take the time to get very clear with yourself about what you want and

Dr. Tara Swart Bieber (00:20:24):

Why. And a wonderful exercise for that is to place your hands on your forehead and ask yourself logically, is this what I really want and why? And then write that down. And then take five deep breaths and put your hands on your heart and ask yourself emotionally, why do I really want this? And then write down the answers, another five deep breaths. And then hands on your belly. Intuitively, do I really want this? And again, write the answers down. And if they're all aligned, happy days. If they're not, we might have a little bit of rethinking to do. When I've done this with clients, one of the things that's come up is, I really, really want a baby, but actually I don't really need a partner to get there. So that could change the I need to meet someone and be in a loving relationship and have a baby could just be actually what I've always really wanted as a child. I'm getting to a certain age where waiting to have a partner be part of that might mean that I don't end up with what I really want.

Mel Robbins (00:21:26):

Got

Dr. Tara Swart Bieber (00:21:26):

It. So that's the most important step.

Mel Robbins (00:21:29):

Okay, so let's say you've gone through step one and your mind, your heart and your gut, your soul, your intuition is all aligned. Yes, I want this.

Dr. Tara Swart Bieber (00:21:40):

The second step is focused attention. So that is at least a month of just noticing what you're doing, what you're not doing in regards to moving in that direction.

Mel Robbins (00:21:50):

What are you noticing?

Dr. Tara Swart Bieber (00:21:52):

Depending on what your goal is, it might be yourself, it might be your interaction with others, it might be feedback from others, but it's kind of a data collection period, because what won't work very well in a manifestation underpinned by neuroplasticity is just jumping into doing without being

Mel Robbins (00:22:10):

First.

Dr. Tara Swart Bieber (00:22:12):

So raising that awareness might've brought up things that you've never consciously known in the past. You can't suddenly then say, okay, I'm on all the dating apps. You need to sit back and see what is it? Are there patterns of behavior that I'm doing that are leading to a bad result? Is there something that's holding me back from taking the first step that I really need to take? So taking longer than a month, if you need to get to the point where you feel like I have enough data about myself that when I act now, I'll be able to give myself really good feedback. So the third part is deliberate practice. And that is doing the things that you know need to do to bring the goal into your life. So whether that's taking certain supplements, whether that's going to sleep earlier than you usually do, whether it's being more socially active than you used to be, and then practicing, and that's an experimental phase. You might still make mistakes in that phase, but course correcting as you go on because at this third stage, this is where people could give up.

Mel Robbins (00:23:14):

Yes.

Dr. Tara Swart Bieber (00:23:15):

And so the fourth part isn't really a stage. It's something like a theme or an umbrella overall of this, which is accountability. So how are you going to hold yourself accountable that you will actually see this through? Now, the easiest way to do that is with an external party like a coach or a therapist, but ways to do that yourself are by recording it in your journal and reading back over your journal and continually reinforcing why I did this, why I didn't do it, what happened when it went wrong. I use an app called Habit Share because what I learned for myself, and this won't be for everyone, but it's quite a good one for a lot of people, is that it's easier to build up micro habits than to start the year or your birthday or whatever it is with one big This year, I'm going to meet the person that I'm going to get married to. So I set out 12 micro habits at the beginning of the year, and I pick three to focus on for the first quarter of the year, and I track them on this app until they become so habitual that I don't need them on the app anymore, and then I move to the next three. When I've done that, instead of setting big goals at the start of the year, I've come to the end of the year and found that I have 10 habits that I'm no longer even conscious of that I'm doing all the time that are leading me towards that bigger goal or those bigger goals that I really want.

Mel Robbins (00:24:39):

Why are there only 10 if you start with 12?

Dr. Tara Swart Bieber (00:24:42):

Well, they don't all stick. I find that along the way, I just didn't actually make one or two of them into a habit. It's still a bit of a struggle and I either decide that I'm going to drop it or I'll carry it on into next year.

Mel Robbins (00:24:55):

How would you recommend you'd kind make micro habits or where would you start? I know we're going to get flooded with questions about this,

Dr. Tara Swart Bieber (00:25:02):

So I'm going to talk really directly to you like I would as if you were my client.

Mel Robbins (00:25:06):

Great.

Dr. Tara Swart Bieber (00:25:06):

Which is that the habit that you are working on is not the other person and the relationship, it's yourself. So if the goal is a partnership with someone else, the habits are all around your self-worth, your deservingness, what you have to offer in a relationship, what boundaries you'll have about somebody treating you in a certain way, and I'm sure a lot more. But those are the first ones that come to mind. So for example, a lot of people cast a list of what they want in a partner, and there's two things around that. One is make a list of what you have to offer in a relationship. Compare it to the list of what you want in a partner and where all the gaps are. Make those your micro habits.

Mel Robbins (00:25:56):

Okay, we got to stop right here and highlight because we've all been in that situation where we have a friend and we keep seeing this person that we love, dating people that we do not believe are up to their level. And you do make the list of what you want in somebody else. I've never made a list of what I have to offer.

Dr. Tara Swart Bieber (00:26:21):

No, neither had I told someone told me about that,

Mel Robbins (00:26:25):

And it doesn't even occur to me that I would make a list about what I have to offer. How does just making the list of what you have to offer change the way you view

Dr. Tara Swart Bieber (00:26:35):

Yourself. So there's two things. One is it might highlight gaps between what you think what you want, but if you are not there, why would that person want you? So if you've got self-work to do, let's start with that. That's why I said I will speak to you really directly like I want to a client, which is that we need to start here if you want to get there. The other one is that the focus can be so outward and external that you actually are not always aware of how much you have to offer. And that's why when unfortunately in this day and age, the sort of behaviors that I'm hearing about on the dating apps, you could succumb to those. But if you have a very strong idea of what you have to offer, you are more likely to say no to bad behavior, right?

Mel Robbins (00:27:24):

Yes,

Dr. Tara Swart Bieber (00:27:24):

It's true.

Mel Robbins (00:27:26):

I just think about this from my own life that in periods of my life where I was in distress or disassociated or in peak toxic Mel mode in the past college and law school come to mind, I had no clue what I had to offer, which is why I kept finding myself engaged in toxic behavior patterns and with people that I was perpetuating them with. And so it makes a lot of sense that if you're not even aware of what your value is, how could you possibly attract something that's of a higher value

Dr. Tara Swart Bieber (00:28:05):

Or equal value

Mel Robbins (00:28:06):

Or equal value?

Dr. Tara Swart Bieber (00:28:08):

One of the things you speak about, Mel, is the fact that we love our friends and family and children and pets more than we show that same care to ourselves. And so if a habit that you have with your partner is writing them a little post-it note of 10 things I love about you,

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Well, obviously if you're in partnership and they're doing that back to you, that's great. But if you're single, write down 10 things that you love about yourself or say to a friend, I'm going to send you a list of 10 things I love about you. Could you please send me a list so I can see how I'm viewed by another person that I know cares for me? So obviously there are affirmations, but you can also bring your tribe into saying, don't forget, this is what you have to offer. This is how lucky someone's going to be to get you. And I don't think we do that enough either.

Mel Robbins (00:28:59):

I'm just starting to think about this because it's kind of sad that we don't do this. And how common is it that you're working with somebody in your practice and you ask 'em to make the list of 10 things and they can't do it?

Dr. Tara Swart Bieber (00:29:13):

I feel like we all have some kind of angel inside us, and if you start, you'll be surprised that things will come out, and that is such a good feeling. And they can be really tiny things, and they can be physical attributes or they can be your kindness and your creativity, but they can also be your vulnerability or the fact that you maybe didn't use to be good at asking for help, but that's something that you've learned to do. There's so many things it can be. So yeah, I would love to think that people would go and do it, and I would love to think that people would be pleasantly surprised. And if not, then reach out to your tribe because I'm sure you'll get inundated with things that people could say about you.

Mel Robbins (00:30:01):

So whether you're going to use manifesting to look for a job or look for a committed partnership or to, I guess they shouldn't even say look for whether you're going to use manifesting to land a job or to land funding or to fall in love and be in a committed partnership or to achieve a health goal. Step one is the self-awareness that comes from you doing the work to get very clear about what you want. And you gave us that beautiful meditation of going from your head to your heart to your gut and asking yourself if you really want this?

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And you say, we should saturate ourselves in the self-awareness of it by journaling and talking to a therapist or a coach or a friend that you trust about it. And then the second one was noticing yourself. Are you acting consistently? What is happening? What's appearing around you? The third one is take actions that are consistent with somebody who is landing their dream job or who is attracting a committed relationship or becoming a parent. And then the fourth is patience. Did I get it?

Dr. Tara Swart Bieber (00:31:16):

The fourth is accountability.

Mel Robbins (00:31:17):

Accountability. That's right. I don't want that one. That's why I forgot it. I want it to just happen like magic. So accountability meaning what?

Dr. Tara Swart Bieber (00:31:26):

Accountability meaning that you don't give up, that you are still doing the consistent behaviors that you need to bring the thing that you want into your life. And that either you find a way of doing that yourself with technology or your journaling or an external party that they'll be asking you in a month's time. Did you go on the number of dates that you said you would, or did you send your resume out to as many places as you said you would? And in my work, I always say, if not, why not? If you didn't, there's a learning opportunity there. But if you did great, what else can we do in the next month kind of thing?

Mel Robbins (00:32:03):

I love this topic so much, Dr. Tara. I could just keep on going on and on and on, but I want to take a quick pause, hear a word from our sponsors. We have so much more to cover. Don't you dare go anywhere because when we come back, we're digging deeper into manifestation. And of course you're going to learn the mistake that you're making. It has to do with vision boards and using glue, all of that and so much more coming up when we return. Stay with us. Hey, it's your friend Mallon. I've been thinking it's time that you and I take our relationship to the next level that we get off social media and do something a little bit more serious together. I have this gift that I've been wanting to get you maybe a little forward, but whatever. I'm going to shoot my shot.

(00:32:40):

I have created a brand new free two-part training called Make It Happen Just For You. It is a video training. It's got two different lectures in it. It is so fricking cool. I made this for you because I want you to stop wasting so much time on social media. I want you to stop thinking about what you want to do, and I want to support you in taking action and making something amazing happen. The next six months of your life could be extraordinary, but it's not going to happen by accident. It'll happen because you decide to make it happen. And because I want to take our relationship to the next level, I thought I'd invite you to jump in this training. Just go to mel robbins.com/make it happen to get this free gift for me, and let's take our relationship and your life to the next level. Welcome back. I'm Mel Robbins. I'm thrilled that you're here today. We're learning all about the science of manifestation and intuition and how to wire your brain to thrive and be more successful with neuroscientists, Dr. Tara Swart Bieber. So what are the three ways that this changes your brain or you can change your brain?

Dr. Tara Swart Bieber (00:33:45):

So the three mechanisms for neuroplasticity are myelination, synaptic, connection, and neurogenesis. Now, myelination, people who do repeated weight training will be quite familiar with that. It's myelin is a fatty substance that coats some neural pathways, making them fast conducting pathways, and there's a reason that we have fast conducting pathways and slow conducting pathways. So for instance, if there was a fire on the table here between us and you put your hand into the fire, your reflex to physically snatch your hand out of the fire is a fast pathway for obvious reasons. So you don't burn, but your pain pathways are slow pathways because if you became so incapacitated by the pain of the fire that you couldn't move, you wouldn't survive. 

So you go from not being able to speak this language at all to picking up the basics, to becoming semi fluent, to potentially becoming completely fluent in the language and everything that we have spoken about so far, it's exactly the same process in the brain. So the myelination is when you start listening and you pick up the alphabet or a basic very basic vocabulary like my name is, and then the synaptic connection is when you can say some sentences that's maybe enough for you to travel to that country on vacation and at least make an effort. And then the hardest one in the adult brain is neurogenesis, and that's because genesis means growth. So this is growth of baby nerve cells into fully formed nerve cells that then have to make synaptic connection with other nerve cells, and potentially those pathways get myelinated. So you can see how it's a building up process.

Mel Robbins (00:36:39):

Yes. And you had said magnetic energy,

Dr. Tara Swart Bieber (00:36:43):

Magnetic desire,

Mel Robbins (00:36:44):

Magnetic desire is one of the fastest ways to change the brain or it's a required way. Talk to me about how that stimulates one of these processes happening.

Dr. Tara Swart Bieber (00:36:57):

Yeah. Okay. Let me put it like this. If you and I both wanted to learn Spanish and you wanted to learn it because you were planning a vacation to Mexico, but I wanted to learn it because I had a Spanish boyfriend, who do you think is likely to learn it more or better

Mel Robbins (00:37:17):

You?

Dr. Tara Swart Bieber (00:37:18):

Yeah, magnetic desire, a real deep reason for wanting to be able to speak that language.

Mel Robbins (00:37:24):

What I love about this example is that I now understand why manifestation works good. So magnetic desire, which you are helping us tap into by asking ourselves, by putting our hands on our head and our heart and our gut, what do I really want? You're tapping into the deep seated magnetic desire behind any change that you want with that you are fueling the change in your brain to help you both see more opportunities around you, and also to help you stay motivated to do the

Dr. Tara Swart Bieber (00:38:02):

Actions.

Mel Robbins (00:38:03):

So it's like training for your brain to be doing the work to make something happen in the future and to help you do it.

Dr. Tara Swart Bieber (00:38:12):

All of that. And I would just add even when if you feel like giving up, even when it feels like it's not going to happen, that's the difference between someone that will manifest and someone that will continually take it this far, but never actually manifest.

Mel Robbins (00:38:27):

Is there a trick that you teach people that are very negative or resigned or have a difficult background where they just have a very hard time believing things are going to work out? Is there something that added that you would suggest to somebody who's like, well, that's never going to work for me. I've tried that. Your resignation stands in your way of the patience.

Dr. Tara Swart Bieber (00:38:52):

Yeah, I actually always struggled with that because I felt like it was such a privilege and a luxury to be manifesting in your life. The first time I was challenged on that, it was when I had my friend Chanel Haynes on season one of my podcast. She played Tina Turner in London's West End. I asked her the same question and she said, manifestation isn't a luxury, it's an essential. And she came from parts of New Orleans that people would be scared to go to, and she built herself up through manifestation to having the career that she had and being the oldest person that ever played Tina Turner in London. So I think finding success stories like that, there's another piece of science that says, if you are trying to achieve something that you've never achieved before, find an example of a person that you resonate with who's achieved the thing that you're trying to achieve. So anything from playing Tina Turner in the West End all the way down to where you were saying somebody who's got a lot of adversities, who's had difficulty in their life breaking out of that. There are examples of that in the world,

Mel Robbins (00:40:00):

Of course,

Dr. Tara Swart Bieber (00:40:02):

And interestingly, because you've already mentioned this, the third part of that is changing your negative.

Mel Robbins (00:40:07):

How do you do that when that is part of the wiring in your brain?

Dr. Tara Swart Bieber (00:40:11):

You cannot undo wiring that's already in the brain. Before we understood about neuroplasticity say that once your brain was in adulthood and certain pathways were set up as they were like things about low self-esteem or things never working out for you, it was impossible to change it because it's impossible to change your height once you've stopped growing, right? But we know that's not true in the brain anymore. So we know that there's an opportunity for rewiring, but it's not through undoing wiring that's already in the brain. It's through overriding it, which means repeating a new thought or behavior so many times with such emotional intensity that it becomes a more energy efficient pathway for your brain than the one that you've had until now.

Mel Robbins (00:41:01):

How do you do that?

Dr. Tara Swart Bieber (00:41:03):

So one of the ways of doing it is through positive affirmations. So it can't just be a random one that you make up. So the way that I help people to find their affirmation is if you have a recurring negative thought, it's not your thought that is widened into your neural pathways. It's the belief that underlies that thought.

Mel Robbins (00:41:25):

Can you give us an example?

Dr. Tara Swart Bieber (00:41:33):

That's never going to happen for me. That's a classic one. Things like that don't happen to people like me. And the answer to this will be

No one in my family has ever been to college before, so what are the chances that I'm going to go? So once you've understood that, it's because it's never happened to anyone in my family, then what you need to do is create a mantra or an affirmation that says, I could be the first. That's just one that came into my mind, but into my heart actually. I really felt it there. But it'll be very different for different people. That emotional intensity is important, and that's why I can't give the answer to you. It has to be your answer.

Mel Robbins (00:42:49):

When you said could I deeply felt that because for me, it allowed the possibility that it might not, but there was something about the possibility of I could be the first two that opens the door to then wanting to try.

Dr. Tara Swart Bieber (00:43:07):

Well try, yeah. Yeah. Wanting to try and then trying,

Mel Robbins (00:43:09):

And then if you keep saying something that has that magnetic desire, that's how you start to, what did you call it? Reprogram.

Dr. Tara Swart Bieber (00:43:22):

Rewire or just overwrite. Overwrite the wiring.

Mel Robbins (00:43:25):

Yeah. I love this affirmation. I could be the first because it makes me believe that it's possible, because of course it's possible. Of course it's possible. And I'll just share quickly. I delayed starting this podcast for so long because I just felt like there were already so many out there. If I had had this affirmation, but I could be the first or I could be successful, even though there's already all these podcasts, if I had had that, I probably would've started this sooner. So what do you do once you create this affirmation for yourself? And let's just run with this one. I could be, and then fill in the blank. What's the steps?

Dr. Tara Swart Bieber (00:44:15):

Well, I have one for you that just really came up in my mind that you could have had, which was I could create a unique niche, even though there were so many out there, I think your affirmation would've been, I could create something that's not out there yet. I think for a, you're just such an icon in this space. So anyway, regardless of what it is,

Mel Robbins (00:44:37):

I love that because I also do think my husband right now is finishing a master's and working on his first book. And what he battles every day is this has already been written. This has already been written, and so many of you listening have something that you want to do. And you're like, but there's already a bakery.

(00:44:50):

But there's so many real estate agents, but there's YouTube, there's this, that if you start to take this one, I could do something unique. I could fill a gap. I could do something different. I love this. So what do we do once we have something that feels like, oh, yeah, that's it. I could be,

Dr. Tara Swart Bieber (00:45:11):

So remember, we based this on an underlying belief to do with lack of deservingness. Every time you have the thought that that belief underlies so I shouldn't bother applying for that job, or that's not going to happen for me, or that's already been done. Every time you have a thought like that, you replace it with your affirmation

Mel Robbins (00:45:32):

And you just say it to yourself?

Dr. Tara Swart Bieber (00:45:34):

You can say it in your head, you can say it out loud, you can write it out and have it on your bathroom mirror. The one time I remember it got quite, I was glad I'd been practicing it with someone openly, verbally challenged me, and I actually burst into tears. But then I said, I think I can.

Mel Robbins (00:45:53):

Wow, that makes a lot of sense. And I want that for everybody. I want you listening to us to believe that you could be the first whatever, or that you could do whatever. And so I think it is really important that you tap into and find the right sentence that kind of has that door open for you when you say it.

Dr. Tara Swart Bieber (00:46:14):

So for season two of my podcast, reinvent Yourself with Dr. Tara. I've actually focused on the new science of ancient wisdom. So what's interesting to me about this one is that Buddhists have known forever replace every negative thought with a positive thought that is part of Buddhism. Now, fast forward tens of thousands, if not hundreds of thousands of years. Neuroscience says you can override a negative thought or belief with a positive affirmation. I mean, hello, as long

Mel Robbins (00:46:44):

As you have magnetic desire attached to it. And I think that's the piece that is really important here, that there is this charge in the feeling around it that is really important for you to do the work to figure out for yourself.

(00:46:57):

You just have this way of explaining very dense things in a really inspiring and accessible way, and I just love that about you, Dr. Tara. I want to take a quick pause, hear a word from our sponsors who are bringing you this information at zero cost. Stay with us. Hey, it's your friend, Mel, and I'm so excited because I can finally tell you about a free gift that I've been working on just for you. It is a two-part video training called Make It Happen with Mel Robbins. It teaches you how you go from thinking about what you want to actually doing it and making it happen. I'm doing this because I want to thank you. Thank you for being here with me on social media. Thank you for being a fan of the Mel Robbins podcast. You made us the fifth most followed podcast in the world last year. Wow. So I've poured my heart and soul into this free two-part video training just for you. As a thank you, I want to teach you how to apply everything that you're learning to make real results happen in your life. How do you jump in? Great question. Go to mel robbins.com/make it happen. Last year when I did a training, more than half a million of you took advantage of it. This year's training is even better. Again, go to mel robbins.com/make it happen.

(00:48:13):

Welcome back. I am so glad that you're still here with us. I'm Mel Robbins. We're learning all about the science of intuition with the amazing neuroscientist and senior lecturer at mit, Dr. Tara Swart Bieber. So as a PhD md, what's the first thing you do when you wake up?

Dr. Tara Swart Bieber (00:48:29):

So I literally do live my life in the way of everything that we've been discussing. So I'm just going to tell you the truth.

Mel Robbins (00:48:34):

Please.

Dr. Tara Swart Bieber (00:48:35):

As soon as I am aware that I'm awake, I snuggle my face against my silk pillowcase and I say, I love my silk pillowcase. And then I say, and I love my side sleeping pillow, and I love my wool mattress topper, and I love, I've created a bit of a haven in my bedroom.

Mel Robbins (00:48:57):

I love this right there with you. So what else do you love?

Dr. Tara Swart Bieber (00:49:00):

Let's keep going. I'm so grateful for

Do you say it out loud or do you just say it to yourself? 

Dr. Tara Swart Bieber (00:49:15):

I say it in my mind.

Mel Robbins (00:49:16):

Okay.

Dr. Tara Swart Bieber (00:49:17):

Then I just do some deep breathing in every direction of my chest. It's a barrel. And just have a feel for if there's any areas of tension. Then to actually get out of bed. I start thinking about how much I'm going to save on my cup of tea, and then I go downstairs and I take my probiotic. I have to wait 10 minutes until I have my cup of tea. I do my oil pulling, and then I make my cup of English breakfast tea or matcha a complete ritual and sit and really savor it and enjoy it. And then I pick up my phone and look at my messages. How does this help you, and how does this help your brain? So I think the thing about this gratitude practice that's to do with the tangible things that around me is that it stops. What usually happens to people is that you start thinking,
what do I have to do today?

(00:50:12):

Time? Is it, what am I going to wear today? And because obviously I don't keep my phone in my bedroom, I can't reach for that and start getting bombarded by the outside world before I've had a chance to set myself up how I want to. There's a lot of scientific evidence for the benefits on your mental health and your health and your longevity of gratitude. So basically, I'm not letting my brain kick in. I'm going straight to the gratitude, so I can't even think about anything else. And of course then that makes me feel good

Mel Robbins (00:50:45):

Already. What are other key habits that you have as a neuroscientist throughout the day that continue to help your brain to thrive like this?

Dr. Tara Swart Bieber (00:50:55):

I'm going to be really honest with you and say, I'd prefer to start by going to the end of the day because those are the real key anchors for me. And I just want to keep it really real and say that there are days where I don't do anything else consciously in the rest of the day, and I just live, just do my day. But there are some things, so I will come back to them. But I would say second in importance is the fact that I have my vision board next to my bed. So it's the last thing I look at at night.

Mel Robbins (00:51:22):

Let's talk about the vision board, because you called it an action board.

Dr. Tara Swart Bieber (00:51:25):

Yeah.

Mel Robbins (00:51:27):

Does a vision board work?

Dr. Tara Swart Bieber (00:51:30):

I've been doing them for 15 years, and I've manifested a lot of things through my vision board.

Mel Robbins (00:51:35):

What have you manifested through a vision board?

Dr. Tara Swart Bieber (00:51:37):

I'm

Mel Robbins (00:51:37):

Dr. Tara.

Dr. Tara Swart Bieber (00:51:40):

So I started when I quit my job as a medical doctor, and I started my coaching practice. So I literally had no money, no clients got to the point where I wouldn't be able to pay my rent and my bills. So at that stage, I did include an actual amount of money that I needed to earn. And so for the first three years of running my business, I had doubled that figure each year. And then after that, I just put symbols of abundance. I didn't need it to be a specific amount. I've manifested a lot of travel, but sometimes spooky. So I saw a picture of a tanned girl snorkeling, and I love snorkeling, so I put her on my vision board just to have a vacation that was that kind of vacation. And at this point, I was single. And I used to go on Christmas vacation, the holidays with my best friend who lived in Australia, and we would often choose where to go because I would see how many air miles I had and say, oh, I can get a flight to this place. So the year that we decided we would meet in Rio de Janeiro was because that was the only flight that I could get with my points. And I suddenly had this inkling that I hadn't been aware of. And I went and looked at my vision board, and in tiny writing under the snorkeling girl, it said Rio de Janeiro.

(00:53:12):

I have so many more examples of things like that as well.

Mel Robbins (00:53:15):

Well, what I also love about this is that you take it a step further and you don't say, what a cool accident you say, I manifested that. And how does a vision board, which you call an action board program your brain for thriving?

Dr. Tara Swart Bieber (00:53:37):

It is a vision board in the sense that most people will know what a vision board is. But the difference is, like I said about quantum physics, before I wrote it through cognitive science did give an idea that you should create this vision either in your mind or on a board. Often it was quite fantastical compared to what the person's life was actually like. And I do believe it's got to be somewhat realistic

(00:54:03):

And then sit at home on the couch and wait for it to come true. Wait for the check to come in the post. Wait for the dream partner to bang your door down. I just don't believe that that's possible. I believe that you have to be out there doing things to move yourself towards those goals so that the board is simply a reminder to do the selective filtering, selective attention and value tagging to your brain to keep those things at the front of your mind and not let life get in the way. So easy to just get busy with kids and work and forget. Not every day, remember, what are the things that you want. But if you're seeing the board every day, then it does just help to bring it back to the front of your mind. And also, some people can't do visualization.

(00:54:50):

So especially for them, actually having the visual images ready to look at allows you to get into that next step, which is visualize it being true. So close your eyes after looking at the board and immerse yourself in the feeling of those things actually being true. Like you're in Rio de Janeiro where you're with your loving partner. You are doing really well at work. Feel that through your five senses. And then give gratitude for the fact for that feeling of like, wow, with my eyes closed, I can feel that I'm holding my partner's hand, and our feet are in the sand in Rio, and we could afford this vacation because we're both doing really well at work.

Mel Robbins (00:55:28):

Because what you're really summoning is that magnetic energy that you talked

Dr. Tara Swart Bieber (00:55:31):

About

Mel Robbins (00:55:31):

What's actually happening in your body and in your mind when you go through this process of creating a vision board and then visualizing it and allowing the wave of gratitude associated with that happening to fill your body, what happens in your brain?

Dr. Tara Swart Bieber (00:55:49):

So when you visualize something really strongly and you integrate your senses, your brain can hardly tell the difference between that being true and that being a created feeling by you. Because anything new is the biggest threat to the brain. Uncertainty and novelty are the biggest threats to the brain. The more you visualize and embody the thing that you want, the more likely you are to take healthy risks to get it when it appears around you in the real world. So when you are feeling fear or shame or sadness, your blood is circulating a lot more of the stress hormone cortisol. When you're feeling love and trust and gratitude, you're circulating a lot more of the bonding hormone, oxytocin, and those hormones are kind of on a seesaw. So if you are giving gratitude, then you are improving the release of oxytocin, and that's relatively reducing the stress hormone. So basically love or gratitude, trust, those sorts of things can't coexist with fear and shame and sadness. So the more you push your brain into those emotions which correlate with that hormone, the less you are living in that state of fright, flight and scarcity.

Mel Robbins (00:57:10):

So simply visualizing and feeling that wave of emotion that comes from being grateful for the visualization of something that hasn't happened yet coming true changes the chemical balance in your body.

Dr. Tara Swart Bieber (00:57:25):

When you are immersed in that feeling and think of a couple of the things that you'd like to happen right now and how good it would feel if they were true, you'll release dopamine, the reward chemical. So that's very, that has a really strong impact on your body. Then when you move it into, and now I'm giving gratitude for that, then you are also releasing oxytocin. So you've got this cocktail of really feel good hormones.

Mel Robbins (00:57:50):

What is one mistake that people make when they are making a vision board?

Dr. Tara Swart Bieber (00:57:55):

I have now learned to leave a lot of space on my board because I don't believe that my brain is capable of knowing how much I could manifest in this world. So I love to leave a bit of room for magic in the book where I do the chapter on actually how to make the board. I say, get the board, lay the images onto it. Really ask yourself, do I want everything? That's an image on there? And if there's something that you thought you wanted, but it doesn't resonate, remove it. Have another flick through the magazines. And if there's an image that isn't something that you thought you wanted, but it really speaks to you, try fitting that in. Leave it overnight. And I specifically said in a windproof, childproof pet proof place, and then come back the next day after having slept on it.

(00:58:43):

And if you're sure that it's correct, then glue it into place. And then I start speaking to people who say to me, yeah, I've done all that, but I just haven't glued it yet. And so I said, oh, did you do it yesterday? No, months ago. And I just can't bring myself to glue it down. I don't understand why. And I had, having been an experienced coach now for 15 years, I just had the answer to that just came into my mind through my gut. And it was, you don't want to