Episode: 131
How to Make 2024 the Best Year: 6 Questions to Ask Yourself
a Solo Episode
6 simple questions will instantly uncover the next steps in your life.
In this episode, Mel shares her powerful ritual to reflect, reset, and get clear on what you truly want anytime you need it.
Learn how to use a simple question and your camera roll to focus on what matters, try the stop-start-continue method for success, and take the best next step toward your goals.
Listen on:
You deserve to have the best year of your life.
Mel Robbins
Featured Clips
Transcript
Mel Robbins (00:03):
Ooh, I am so happy you are here with me because you and I are going to have one of my all time favorite conversations today. There are six simple questions that I'm going to ask you. They force you to reflect back on the past 12 months, and they also give you this instant clarity about what you want in the coming year. So question number one. Hey, it's your friend Mel, and welcome to the Mel Robbins Podcast. Hey, YouTube, it's Mel. I can't wait to share my favorite six questions that I ask myself every single year at the end of the year that helped me plan a great year. I'm going to tell you those in just a second. But first, are you a subscriber? Please, you need to subscribe. And lemme tell you why. Only 36% of the people that watch my channel are subscribing. That means literally only one third. That means two out of every three people that come. Just watch and don't subscribe. I need your support. It's how I bring this show to you for free. Please hit subscribe.
(01:12):
Did you do it? Okay, good, thanks. Now let's go to the six questions. Ooh, I'm so happy you are here with me because you and I are going to have one of my all time favorite conversations today. I'm going to be sharing something very, very personal with you. It is a year end ritual that my husband Christopher and I have done for the last 20 years. We do this every year at the end of the year together, and for the past 10 years, we have done this exact same ritual with our three kids. So we do it as a family. Now, I'm going to walk you through the ritual in today's conversation, and I'm just going to tell you, it is so simple and it is shockingly powerful, and that's why I've been doing this every single year at the end of the year for 20 years.
(02:01):
Here it is. There are six simple questions that I'm going to ask you during our conversation today. And these six simple questions, they force you to reflect back on the past 12 months, and they also give you this instant clarity about what you want in the coming year. And when I ask you these six questions one by one, and you start to reflect on the answer to each one of them, you're going to be really surprised by just how much wisdom you have gained over the past 12 months. And you're also going to feel really empowered because these questions have a way of not only kind of stirring up all this wisdom that you've gained in the past 12 months, but they seem to highlight a very clear path forward that is unique to you, that is personal, and that is really authentic to what you actually want.
(02:57):
So I'm going to walk you through these questions one by one. I'm so excited for this. But before I do that, I want to tell you something really exciting. I wanted to take this ritual beyond just the listening or the watching experience, and so my team and I have prepared a free download for you. It is a companion journal. You can hear it right now. It's right here that we have created. It is beautiful. It contains these six questions. It has inspiring quotes from our conversation today, and you can download it for free as long as you have access to the internet from any of the 194 countries that you may be listening to the Mel Robbins podcast in. Go to mel robbins.com/best year, mel robbins.com/best year. That URL is on the screen on youtube.com. It is also linked in the resources in the show notes for this episode.
(03:52):
We got you covered and I really can't wait for you to download your free journal. Alright, we got the logistics handled, and before I ask you the six questions, I just want to tell you a quick story and give you a metaphor that will really set the table about the deeper meaning around what you and I are going to do today. Last week I took our entire team on a four day retreat and we went on this retreat because this year has been incredible. It's also been a lot of work and we needed a break. And as I was leaving the property that we held the retreat on, I couldn't get Google maps to connect. It just wouldn't connect and give me the directions that I needed. And here's the funny thing. The whole point of the retreat was to go somewhere where we could get off the grid, we could unplug, no phones were allowed.
(04:41):
And so here I am, I'm leaving the retreat. I'm in this blissful state. I've unplugged for four days, and as I'm driving off the property, I realized I have no idea how to get home and I can't get Google maps to connect and I start freaking out. There are cars behind me. I'm going to have to decide in about 200 yards whether I'm going right, I'm going left, I'm going straight. I don't know, I'm starting to get stressed out. So what do I do? Well, naturally I pull over, I pull over because I don't want to get to the stop sign and have these cars behind me. I don't want to make the left turn or the right turn and not know where I'm going. And here as I am pulled over on the side of the drive out of this property and the other cars are passing me by, I just sat there and I turned off my phone and I was waiting for it to come back online to see if it would connect.
(05:33):
And as I'm sitting there, this older dude in a golf cart pulls up beside my door and he kind of waves at me through the window and I look over and I roll down my window and he's like, ma'am, are you lost? Do you need some help? And I laughed and I said, yes, I do need some help, but basically I just need to take a minute and figure out where I am so I can figure out where I'm going. And that's what you and I are going to do with these six questions you are going to pull over right now, metaphorically speaking
Mel Robbins (06:03):
So that you can figure out where you are. Then as I ask you these six questions, it's going to help you figure out where you want to go next. See, everybody misses this step when it comes to setting goals or making resolutions or trying to create a pivot in your business or in what you're doing with school or your career.
(06:21):
You just keep flying down the highway of life. You're making decisions a million miles an hour. Oh yeah, make resolutions and goals for next year. That's just added to the to-do list at the end of the year along with buying presents for people and doing this and doing that. And the problem with going through life like that is that you'll just create goals and resolutions for what you think you should do. But have you really stopped just for a second and taken time to think about what you really want? Not what you should do, but what do you want? What's working in your life right now? What's not working? What are you willing to do the work for in order to have something new in your life and what are you not willing to do the work for? And in a couple episodes, I'm going to talk to you about the research related to goals and the two requirements that you need in order to create a goal that you will actually stick to and care about.
(07:18):
And I'm going to tell you right now what those two things are, and we'll go deeper into it later. But you need to know what you want and you need to know why you have that goal. What I love about these six questions is that they help you determine what you want, why you want it, and they also help you illuminate the way forward so that you can make these goals happen. And I'm so excited for you because by the end of the conversation that you and I are going to have today, you're going to feel completely different. I'm going to feel completely different because every time I ask myself these six questions, it's just so motivating and clarifying and you're going to be so excited about the next 12 months of your life because you're going to realize that the best days, the best years of your life, they're ahead of you.
(08:04):
Some of the best friends that you're going to meet in your life, you haven't even met them yet. And the version of yourself that is waiting for you to arrive, it's waiting for you in this coming year. And so these six questions work because they're grounded in a very simple mathematical principle. In order for you to create a set of directions, you must have where you're starting from and where you want to go next, it is impossible for Google Maps to give you directions unless you put in where are you starting, where are you going? And a major mistake that so many of you make is that you jump right into the new thing where you're going without understanding where you are. Just think about me last week as I'm leaving the retreat. If I didn't stop and wait for Google Maps to register where I was, I'd just be driving down the highway in the wrong direction, spinning around, not connecting.
(08:57):
It's complete stupidity. You have to stop for a second so that you can connect to where you are. Now. I get it. I am afraid to stop too. I'm afraid to look in the rear view mirror. I'm afraid to kind of really think about where I am, but wait until you see what you learn about yourself when you answer these six questions.
Mel Robbins (09:20):
And if you're driving in a car or you're running errands or you're listening to my voice at the gym or you're watching on YouTube, you can just keep listening and watching as I walk you through these questions. And then what you're probably going to want to do is you're probably going to want to come back to the episode after you've printed out that free journal@melrobbins.com slash best year and dive even deeper into the wisdom contained in each and every one of these six questions.
(09:46):
And one more pro tip, make sure you share this episode and you share the download with your family. In fact, do it with your family. Do it with your team at work. Do this with your mastermind group in business or some of your best friends. This is an excellent way to connect with people, and it's one of the reasons why I love doing it. At the end of every year with Chris and our kids, we answer the questions, we share our answers with one another, we go deeper with one another. In fact, when I do this with my kids and with Chris, they always remind me of things that I forgot about and things that I'm not giving myself credit for. And so you're going to find the same thing too when you share this with your friends and family. Alrighty, you ready? Me too.
(10:27):
Let's jump into the six questions. The first three that I'm going to ask you, they help you figure out exactly where you are right now, and they unearth the wisdom that is contained in the last 12 months of your life and where you are right now. And the final three questions that I'm going to ask you are borrowed from transformational business consulting practices. And these last three questions are going to help you identify specifically what you need to do to move your life forward in a direction that is deeply personal and fulfilling for you. So question number one, what are the highlights from the past year of your life?
Mel Robbins (11:09):
I'm going to ask you that again. Question number one, what are the highlights from the past year of your life? So you're going to think back over the past 12 months, and I want you to start collecting all of the highlights from the past 12 months. Now, let me give you a few tips here. Do not do this from your memory because you will not believe how much you have forgotten. In fact, you can even test yourself on this one. Just try answering the question, what are the highlights from the past year of your life? And you can think back January, february, March. You can think of the spring, the summer, the fall, the beginning of the winter. Think about the highlights. But if you really want to get full credit for all the highlights of this past year of your life, you want to print out the journal@melrobbins.com slash best year. And then you want to pull out your camera roll and pull out your calendar and go through the past 12 months, week by week in your camera roll or on Snapchat or on TikTok. You can look at all the highlights there, and you'll be shocked by how much you've already forgotten.
(12:20):
There were people you had lunch with, forgot about that. There were day trips that you took. There were books that you read, there were places that you visited. There were trips that you took, there were things that you witnessed, stuff that you experienced. Oh, remember that outpatient surgery. Nope, forgot about that. Mel. You're going to be shocked by how much happened to you this year that you don't even remember. So look at your camera roll when we're done with this episode, look at your calendar and ask yourself the question, what are the highlights of this past year of my life now as I do it? And I start to go through my camera roll. Let's go all the way back to January. Whoa, I'm just scrolling right now. I have not done this year end ritual yet with Chris, and so I'm explaining it to you before I even do it.
(13:11):
And so I'm just kind of, as I'm talking to you, looking back, I got a lot of photos you're going to notice, you take a lot of photos too. Holy smokes. Okay, I'm going back. Woo. We had a lot of, okay, so I'm looking back and here's some of the things. First of all, holy cow, we marked the one year anniversary of this podcast. Pretty incredible. Oh my gosh, I forgot that. Kendall graduated from college this year and she sang the national anthem in front of 60,000 people. I know I, I shared about it on the podcast, but I kind of forgot about it. There's a bazillion photos of sunsets and sunrises. And you know what that reminds me of? It reminds me of the fact that I really took peace and being present in the moment more seriously. And I can see that as a real highlight this year because of the number of photographs, I see a lot of photos with new friends, and it reminds me that I was really happy in this new community.
(14:14):
Oh, whoa. Remember the story I told you about the owl that we rescued? It happened on the night of my 27th anniversary. I talked about that incredible story of the owl that was hit by the car and rescuing it on a rainy night and holding it in my arms with a towel wrapped around it for 30 minutes. Whoa, I would've forgotten about that. Oh, this is clearly the year that I started wearing one piece bathing suit. We opened a new studio. That was a huge win for me personally, opening the new studio for our production company. I was so scared to commit to a space and to build it out. I mean, a five-year lease that's placing a bet on your business when you sign a five-year lease. And it really shows me that I used to think that my success was luck. And I realize now this is a huge highlight that that's not true.
(15:15):
I work very, very, very hard and signing that lease, which I took a photo of the day that we did it, that was me placing a bet on myself. And that's a highlight. So why are you and I doing this? Why are you looking at the highlights? I'll tell you why. Because you need to remind yourself that your life is way bigger than how you feel in this moment.
Mel Robbins (15:38):
And way too often at the end of the year, or in those moments when you're trying to change, you're in a temporary emotional state and you forget the full context of who you are, what you've done, all the things that you've experienced, good and bad based on all of that. And this question, what are the highlights of this past year of my life? It brings all of that wisdom right to your face and that wisdom is going to help guide you in terms of what you're going to do in this next year of your life.
(16:12):
Alright, so that's question number one. And that's a whole lot that we've already unpacked from this past year of your life coming up. We've got the remaining five questions, and I'll tell you what question number two is when we return from a short break from our sponsors. Stay with me. Welcome back. I'm so glad you're here. It's your friend Mel. And I am teaching you a year end ritual that I have done with my husband, Christopher for the past 20 years. We now do this as a family of five. Our kids love this ritual and I know you're going to love it too. We are jumping into the second question, and I want to remind you before we jump into the second question that you can get a free download from me. It is a journal that we have designed. It is beautiful. I'm holding it in my hands right here.
(17:02):
I can't wait for you to download this. It's at mel robbins.com/best year. But for now, I'm just walking you through the six questions. The first question was, what are the highlights of this past year of my life? And now the second question, what were the hardest aspects of this past year? And I want you to really think about that. What were the hardest aspects of this year for you? And again, I'm going to guide you in how you can go a little bit deeper into answering this question. First of all, photos and a calendar are super, super helpful, but what also helps me with this question, this can kind of be a big stumper, you know what I mean? And I don't want you to stay in the big themes of what was hard. I want you to get really specific and be reminded. And so have your phone out, have your photos out, have your calendar out.
(17:57):
And I also want to share with you that I like to break this particular question into five different categories because I get much richer data. So what are the categories that you're going to think about when you think about the hardest aspect of this year? Number one, health and wellness. Number two, your career, money, school. Number three, relationships, love and friendship. Number four, fun and happiness. Number five, purpose, spirituality and meeting. Those are the big categories. And don't you worry in the free journal@melrobbins.com slash best year, I've got all of this spelled out for you with lots of room to write and lots of prompts for you. So it's really going to help you go deeper. Now, what's interesting is that even though I just told you my highlight reel, I can see that I had some really big struggles in each one of these five areas.
(18:54):
And yes, you may find that areas of struggle can also overlap with your areas of highlights. Remember how I said that? Oh, this was clearly the year that I started wearing one piece, bathing suits and longer shorts. Well, let me tell you why that was a highlight, but it also highlights a struggle that I had in the category of health and wellness. And one of those struggles for me personally was menopause. I am fully in menopause. My body has profoundly changed and I struggled with it this year. And I know that, and I'll explain in a bit why unearthing struggles for you is part of the important process of figuring out what goals you're going to have moving forward. Second category, career, money and school. This has been a year of massive highlights in my career. It has also been a huge struggle. And let me tell you why.
Mel Robbins (19:53):
The hypergrowth of this podcast nearly killed me in launching this podcast. It had always been a dream of mine. I shared about it a lot. Not a single person on our team has ever done the job that they're doing right now. And so we all stepped into the launch of this podcast, super excited with massive dreams, and the reality of running a show this big ran our asses over holy smokes. And it was a real struggle to stay ahead, to keep our heads above water, to respond to the demand. And I realize that sounds like an amazing problem to have, but I have felt like I've been hyperventilating all year and grateful at the same time, but it's been a struggle. Okay? Relationships, love and friendship, fun and happiness, both the same struggle. I spent way too much time working this year because of the success of this podcast and because we were so caught off guard.
(21:03):
And by the way, we're hiring. So please, if you have mad experience for a show this size, if you are absolutely, you're like, I got to work on that team. I got to be on the number five most followed podcast in the world. This is my jam and I've got the experience to prove it. We want to hear from you for real purpose, spirituality and meaning. This is another area where highlights also overlap with struggle. I mentioned that one of the highlights is seeing so many photos of sunrises and sunsets, which were a signal to me that I really tapped into a level of peace and contentment and presence living here in Vermont. But when I look back at the early part of the year, I was still new to living here, and back in January and February, Mel Robbins was lonely. She was up on this mountain staring off with a panic in her face.
(22:05):
I can see the look of struggle in her face and kind of acknowledging that and seeing it and seeing that it was a struggle, the loneliness that I felt being in a new community, it's really important, and this is why looking at the hard things in your life is a critical step before you look ahead. Last year I did this exercise at the end of the year. I asked myself these six questions with my husband and our kids. And the struggle that really dominated my life 24 months ago was a deep level of betrayal that had happened in my business and in relationships in my business. And so going through the exercise and being honest with myself about that struggle led me to create goals for this year that were around addressing those issues,
Mel Robbins (23:02):
Those issues of loneliness in my life and the issues of a lack of systems and betrayal in my business. And that's why I'm in a better place as I'm talking to you right now. That's why I feel like a totally different Mel Robbins than the Mel I see in the photos in January of February 12 months ago, where I was still really lonely. And knowing what's hard in your life allows you to do what researchers tell you that you need to do. If you want to set goals that you care about, the goals that you set need to be relevant, they need to be relevant to who you are right now, where you are right now, what's good, what's bad, what you're struggling with. Because when you make goals to improve based on what's been hard, the decades of research studies will show you that those goals then become tied to something that's personal to you. And that taps into what researchers call intrinsic motivation, which is that in internal fuel that comes from deeply personal change, deeply personal meaning, if it matters to you to not be lonely again this year, you'll do something about it.
(24:15):
If it matters to you to not be hyperventilating when you go up a flight of stairs, you'll do something about it. And that's why answering question number two and digging into your challenges is so important. Your challenges are trying to teach you something. So take this part of it. Seriously, what was the hardest aspect of this year for you? Maybe you lost somebody you love this year and you've been grieving. And by writing that down and unpacking it, you realize that when you look ahead, you want to give yourself permission to be happy again. You want to work on that sense of connection and happiness and meaning in the wake of this. And when your goals are informed by the things that you've struggled with and that you're moving through those goals, take on a richness to them, a meaning to them. And that's why this matters so much.
(25:09):
Alright, let's jump into the third question. What did you learn about yourself this year? And again, I invite you to have your camera roll. I invite you to have your journal from mel robbins.com/best year. I invite you to break it down into these five categories, health and wellness, career, money and school relationships, love and friendship, fun and happiness. Remember that fun and happiness, purpose, spirituality and meaning. And so as you're looking at your photo roll and your calendar and you're working through the free beautiful journal that you've downloaded, this is one of those questions that, boy oh boy, does it help if you do this with other people? What did you learn about yourself this year? You're going to shortchange yourself, but when you do this with other people, oh, they're going to remind you. They're going to tell you how you showed up. They're going to be your cheerleading squad.
(26:02):
And oh, remember that thing that you're not giving yourself credit for? Well, here are some of the big things that I learned about myself this year, and I share this with you, not only because we're friends, but also because it might stir something up in you. I learned that with regard to my health and wellness, the things that I used to do when I was younger in terms of diet and exercise, they're not going to work. They're not going to work now that my hormones have changed. If I want to feel better in my body, I need to change what I'm doing. And maybe some area of your life is like that, that all of a sudden this past year you hit a wall that the way that you had always been showing up in your marriage, it's not working anymore. The way that you keep showing up at work, it's not leading to the promotion or the responsibilities that you want.
(26:47):
The other thing that I learned this year, I'll share another one that was a big point of knowledge for me, is that I learned a lot this year about how to not take on the responsibility of managing other people's emotional reactions and breakdowns. See, there's a big difference between supporting somebody that you care about in your life and feeling responsible for them, supporting somebody versus being responsible for their emotions. And that has been a revelation, and I loved that this was a huge thing that I learned from this past year of my life. Okay, so let's recap question number one. What were the highlights of this past year of your life? Question number two, what were the hardest aspects of these past 12 months for you? And question number three, what are all the amazing things that you learned about yourself this year? Maybe you're more resilient.
Mel Robbins (27:42):
Maybe you learned what mistakes you're not going to make again, maybe you learn something about relationships or you learn something that made you really proud. When you look back, I want you to take these three questions really seriously because this helps you again, it helps you identify that starting point, where am I right now in my life? And it helps you get a really rich and full answer. Now, when we come back, I want you to hear a short word from our sponsors, the amazing sponsors of the Mel Robbins podcast. Help me bring this content to you for free. I love that. So take a listen. When we return, you and I are going to dig into the three remaining questions that are all grounded in a business transformation strategy that top brands use, and now you're going to use them in your life to help you chart a course forward.
(28:35):
When we return, stay with me. Welcome back. It's your friend Mel Robbins. And you and I are walking through a ritual that my husband, our three kids, we do this every single year. It is a year-end ritual. I also use this exact same ritual of asking myself six questions whenever I'm going to do any new business goals, business planning, any big pivots in my life. I absolutely love this. We've already gone through the first three questions, which we're all about identifying the wisdom and the knowledge that you need so that you know exactly where you are right now, and you can now tap into all of that wisdom as we answer question four, five, and six. And what I love about questions four, five, and six is that these questions now have us looking forward. This is the set of directions that a Google Maps is going to point out because we now know where you are.
(29:35):
Now let's talk about what do you want and where are we going? How cool is this? Okay, you cool? Alright, let's put these insights into a plan for the final three questions of this year end audit. Let's borrow a very simple business and strategy planning tool. This is a tool that is used by the top global brands that you know and love. This is used by publicly traded companies. This is used by executive teams everywhere. And now guess what? You are going to use these three questions because they are super simple. They get right to the heart of what it is that you want, and here it is, you ready? Drum roll, please.
(30:16):
Stop, start, continue. That's it. These three questions come from a transformational business consulting practice called Stop, start, continue. And one of the reasons why I love these three questions, stop, start, continue, is because it makes you focus on what you truly want when you want to change. Or it's the beginning of a new year. It is so tempting, isn't it? To do more, to do better, to get bigger, to move faster change. But what about just making things simpler? What about doing more of what is working and less of what is not working? What if you focused on what you are going to continue doing in order to make this next 12 months, one of the greatest years of your life? I mean, you need consistency, right? And a lot of times when we go to set goals, it's about more better, different. Well, what about what you're going to stop?
Mel Robbins (31:28):
What about those things that are the backbone of the change that you've already started initiating? Those are just as important as the big, bad, amazing new stuff you're going to do. And so let's start with question number four. What are the things that you are going to stop doing in the next year of your life? So think about the next 12 months. Let's look ahead on the road of your life. What are you going to stop doing? For me personally, I'm going to stop traveling for work. My life for the last decade has been as a road warrior, I mean I used to be on the road 150 days a year. I basically missed out on our daughter's high school experience because I was gone. I was working, I was paying the bills. And over the past two years, I've become more and more and more committed to getting off the road and being home more and I'm doing it.
(32:29):
So I'm going to stop accepting speaking engagements. There's a handful that I'm willing to do if they meet certain criteria, but typically at this time of year, I would be fully booked a year ahead. There were years where I would have 120 speeches booked for the 12 months ahead, not this year, last year, I don't know. I did 25. Maybe you know how many I've agreed to this year? One February, the MGM Arena, Keller Williams, let's go. 10,000 of you. We're going to corrupt us that place with motivation and tactical advice. However, I'm going to stop saying yes, I'm going to stop saying yes to these opportunities. I'm also going to stop saying yes to all the people that come at us and want us to create content for them. And I'm going to focus on the project that are ours. So that's one thing that I'm going to stop doing.
(33:29):
Another thing that I'm going to stop doing because it's really helpful, and again, if you get your download@melrobbins.com slash best year, listing out the things you're going to stop doing in each of the five categories is going to help you gain a lot of clarity because I realize there's something else I need to stop doing and that's bitching about menopause. I have spent a lot of time and on some podcast episodes with you complaining about my body, complaining about my hormone changes, complaining about how stubborn it's been to try to figure out how to be healthy, complaining about hot flashes. I need to stop. I need stop doing that, and I need to have a different relationship with where I'm at with my hormones and where I am with my body. And so I want you to ask yourself this fourth question, what are you going to stop doing in the area of health and wellness?
(34:16):
What are you going to stop doing? Career, money school? Maybe you need to stop complaining about your job and show up differently. Maybe you need to stop complaining about the lack of money that you have and start showing up differently around it. Maybe you need to stop complaining about relationship, love and friendship and create a different relationship, fun and happiness, purpose, spirituality and meaning these five categories, what are you going to stop doing and stopping doing something that can lead to massive transformation in your life? We've talked about that a lot. Sometimes it's more effective to stop doing something than it is to constantly focus on the new thing that you're going to do in some cases. And so I want you to really, really go deep on this question that brings us to question number five. What do you want to continue doing this year?
(35:05):
I love this question because when you make goals, goals never prompt you to think about, well, what am I going to keep doing that's working? This question is so important because it gets you out of that whack-a-mole thing. You know how you can get into these phases in your life, or at least I do, where I'm super focused on fitness and so I focus, focus on fitness, and then I ignore my relationship with Chris, or I'm super focused on getting out of debt and then I ignore the fact that I need to carve out time for happiness. And so when you also take the time to answer question number five, what are you going to continue doing in the next year of your life? Well, I'll tell you what I'm going to continue doing. I'm going to continue using my Let Them Theory. I love letting people have their emotional reactions and not managing 'em.
(35:52):
I love letting people just show me who they are so I can figure out what I'm going to do in response. I love not being responsible for managing everybody else's emotional meltdowns and reactions and tantrums and childhood wounds and all that crap that we're all dealing with. And just let people be human, let them have their reactions. And I love the feeling of peace and control that it gives me in my life. And the final question that's going to help you create one of the best years of your life next year, what are you going to start doing in the next 12 months in all five areas of your life, which again are listed in the journal, the beautiful journal that we created for you that you can print out at mel robbins.com/best year. Whatcha going to start doing well for me when it comes to health and wellness?
(36:45):
Thanks to Dr. G who did the Muscle Centric Medicine episode with us, I am going to be strength training three days a week period. Another thing that I'm going to start doing, you're going to love this. I'm going to start writing my next book, which is the Let Them Theory. That's right. I'm doing a whole book on it and it's going to be incredible. I'm excited for it. I bet you're going to be excited for it too. Another thing I'm going to start doing is I'm experimenting with an entirely new way of working. I mentioned earlier that I'm stopping down the work travel way too much work travel last year. So I'm taking it seriously this year to change that. And we're trying out this experiment where our team has one week on where we do productions together in our new studio space in Boston, and then one week off, not like off, you're not working, but off you are in the deep pocket doing the deeper work to get all the stuff that we did during the other week across the finish line.
(37:48):
And I think that rhythm could be really, really cool. I'm going to start also getting aggressive about saving money again. We moved up to southern Vermont, as you probably know, and we did a renovation project up here. And like most everybody that does a little home renovation project, we went a little over budget and I might've gone a little over budget on our new studio build out in Boston. But now that our daughters are both out of college and our house project and our studio project in Boston is done, I really want to start focusing again on saving money and investing in startup companies again. And I want to remind you about something. Don't forget that starting also includes starting something that you used to do, something that you used to do in the past. You can start it up again. Maybe you need to start listening to music again.
(38:47):
You know how you used to love to create playlists and you always had music going in the house? Maybe that's something you want to take on this year. Maybe you want to start playing your guitar again or playing the piano again. Or maybe you want to start traveling again, even if you don't have the money to go on some big fancy pants trip. Maybe it's just taking day trips and exploring where you live and going to new places. Or maybe it's time to start cleaning out your social media accounts. Again, I'm a huge fan of what I call Unfollow Friday and making it a point every week to align your social media accounts, the input with accounts that match what you want the coming year to look like. Imagine that. Imagine if your social media didn't make you feel bad. Imagine if you took the time to align all the input you get on social media to match what you want to do more of this year.
(39:36):
How cool would that be? Or maybe you want to start wearing your hair short or long again, or maybe you want to start speaking French again. You used to speak fluent French, but you haven't done it in 10 years. And so you want to really brush up on the language again. So again, what do you want to start doing? You want to start being more visible at work. You want to start taking classes to uplevel your skills. Go through every one of the five areas of your life and identify what you want to start doing. Alright, so now that I've explained the six questions I want to give them to you one more time. What were the highlights of your year? What were the hardest aspects of this past year for you? What did you learn about yourself over the past 12 months? What did this past year teach you about yourself, about life, about work, about what you want?
(40:28):
Where are all those lessons? Number four, what are the things you want to stop doing and not bring into the next year? Number five, what do you want to continue doing in the next year? And number six, what do you want to start doing for real really matters to you? What do you want to start doing in the coming year? Now, I don't know about you, but I'm feeling pretty excited and I haven't even done the exercise yet, for real. I mean my daughters as I'm recording this conversation for you, they're not home yet. So Chris and I and our three kids, we're all going to sit down about five days from now with our printouts. We're going to have our journal from mel robbins.com/best year. And I can't wait. And I kind of wish that you were sitting here with me because now that I've gone through these six questions, I'm like all fired up to really dig in to take an hour and go through my photos and to have the questions in front of me and to go back and forth with you.
(41:32):
And look, I know that you're here with me because you're listening to my voice or you're watching me on YouTube, but I would love to be able to see you and I want to see you doing this and I want to cheer you on. And so how about we make a deal? When you print out your journal, would you hold it up and take a photo of yourself? Or if you're going to put it on the screen, wherever it is that you download it, will you take a photo of yourself with it on your phone or whatever and then post it and tag me because I really do want to find you and give you a virtual high five. Okay? And one other thing, bookmark this episode. No joke, bookmark this episode. I want you to come back to these six questions over and over and over again.
(42:13):
I'll tell you why. Because every time you come back to these six questions, you are in a different place. And before you drive ahead and before you set new goals and benchmarks for yourself, I want you to take the time to figure out where you are exactly beyond your emotional state. I do this ritual all the time. It's the six questions I ask myself that made me finally go, that's it. I'm going to start doing the podcast. That's it. I'm going to stop making excuses. Yeah, I'm going to continue doing the things that make me successful, but by God, I'm going to start this podcast. And so please bookmark this episode. Please share this with your friends and family, and I want you to do it together. It's such a great exercise to do with your family and with your friends because it will make you feel more connected.
(43:01):
And speaking of connected, now that I've gone through these six questions and I've glanced at my photos and I've kind of thought about the last year, I feel like my Google maths just connected. I feel like I got a sense of direction, and I don't know about you, but I can't wait to dig into this exercise for real, and I cannot wait for you to do the same thing, to print out your journal, to write down your answers, to go through your phone and your calendar, to unearth all that wisdom and to truly chart a course for yourself for the coming year that really matters and speaks to you. I do believe that this next year could be the best year of your life. I do believe that some of the people that you will love deeply in your life you haven't even met yet, they're waiting for you in the next 12 months.
(43:55):
I do believe that all of the things that you want deeply in your heart and the things that you learned, when you get serious about what you're going to start doing and stop doing and continue doing, you can make it happen. And I also believe in you. I love you, and I believe in your ability to create an extraordinary year in this coming year and to create the set of directions that are unique to you that you need to follow in order to get there. Because the truth is, you do deserve to have the best year of your life. You are brave enough to start. You can gain the clarity to know what you want, and you do have the courage to go after it. And when you do that, I promise you, this will be one of the best years of your life. And your friend, Mel Robbins, will be here cheering for you every step of the way.
(44:49):
And I look forward to spending so much more time with you in the coming year. I'll talk to you in a few days and for you watching on YouTube, thank you, thank you, thank you so much for being here. You can find a link to mel robbins.com/best year right in the description below the video. Also, if you have not subscribed, please subscribe. I mean, for real, I can bring this to you for free because of our advertiser support. Subscribers are a huge deal and only 36% of the people that watch this are subscribed. I need you. I need you. I need you. Please, please share this with everybody that you know. And by the way, I know you're like, oh, I got to learn about this. Let them. Siri, here it is. You're going to watch this next.
Resources
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- Harvard Business Review: 5 Ways to Set More Achievable Goals
- Forbes: Start, Stop, Continue business model
- New York Times: Have you made any New Year’s resolutions
- Forbes: New Year's resolutions fail, do this instead
- Harvard Business Review: How to practice reflective thinking
- National Library of Medicine: The neuroscience of goals and behavior change
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