Episode: 126
Boost Your Success in 2024: My Best Advice on Business, Time Management, and Reinvention
a Solo Episode
This is a masterclass in business and life, packed with Mel’s biggest lessons and strategies.
- Stay motivated and be wildly productive using Mel’s simple formula
- Learn 3 words that build your confidence
- Understand how to balance entrepreneurship with parenting
Never get stuck again: Know Mel’s 4-part framework to help you decide whether to quit or keep going.
Get actionable tools to uplevel your life, reach more people, and stay focused on success.
Listen on:
Confidence is not a feeling. Confidence is the willingness to try.
Mel Robbins
Featured Clips
Transcript
Mel Robbins (00:03):
I need you to hear me loud and clear. I personally think being a female entrepreneur is one of the most amazing things you could do for your kids to every mom and dad out there. Don't you want your kids to live a life where they pursue something meaningful to them? There's a huge difference between taking a leap of faith and making a decision to step in a business.
Chris Allen (00:22):
If you were to summarize all of these possible thousands of questions out there, what would you say
Mel Robbins (00:27):
The secret is? Hey, it's your friend Mel, and welcome to the Mel Robbins Podcast. I am so overwhelmed with emotion and gratitude today, and I want to start by saying thank you. They always say that you should pay very close attention to the people that you feel like you can share good news with. Just stop and think about that. When you have good news, who do you go to? There are those people you can turn to. They're going to celebrate you. There's going to be no weirdness. You don't feel weird sharing it. People are rooting for you. And then you've got those people in your life that when good things happen, interesting, you don't share it with them. Well, when I think about good news, I think about you. And so I wanted to start the episode today by sharing some extraordinary news with you.
(01:27):
You ready? I found out about an hour ago that the Mel Robbins Podcast is the fifth most followed podcast of 2023 on Apple globally. Number five, I have literally, I mean, first of all, that's my number, the five second rule, the high five habit, but number freaking five in the world. And you know what? That's not all. One of our episodes was named the number six most shared episode in the world of all of 2023 on both Spotify and Apple. And I could not wait to tell you, and I want to put this in perspective both for me and for you because this is insane. First of all, when you think about podcast episodes, I looked this up, there's 182 million individual podcast episodes that you could listen to, and one of ours was the number sixth most shared episode in the world. It was the one on the Let Them Theory.
(02:35):
I'm sure you're not surprised because you're the one that made it one of the most shared episodes in the world. So thank you, thank you, thank you. And I looked up the number of podcasts that there are, and there are at least 3.2 million podcasts that are published every single year according to Statista. I can't even say that word, but what I can say is thank you. You made this small little show, a big fricking deal because we are now top 10 in the entire world. And one other thing I want to say to you is that I think it's really important for you to hear something for me, not a single one of the women on our all female team that creates, produces, publishes, edits, markets, the Mel Robbins Podcast. Not a single one of us has ever worked on a show like this ever.
(03:26):
In fact, some of us have never done the jobs that we're doing right now before. And yet you know what? We're doing it and we're not only doing it, we're killing it. And that means something important. It means so please, I know that you tune into the Mel Robbins podcast because you are spending time listening to something that can help you improve your life, and I freaking love that. Please remind yourself that the Mel Robbins podcast is not only here to inspire and empower you to change your life for the better, but we are also an example that you can do the things that you dream about. You can figure it out, you can make a difference in the world it is worth working on. And so thank you for your support. Thank you for sharing the show. If you don't follow the show already, please, please, please subscribe and follow.
(04:15):
Thank you for watching the podcast on YouTube. And now let's just get to the episode. Alright, so thank you for letting me share that with you. Today's episode is dedicated to you, and I love how the world works. I always say the portal is open, there is synchronicity everywhere if you're willing to look for it. And so we had already decided that today we were going to record an episode about supporting you in launching whatever you want to launch. And so today's episode is dedicated to you, to your dreams, to your goals, to the side hustle that you want to create, to the books that you want to write, to the podcast that you want to record, the YouTube videos that you want to post, the songs that you want to sing, and the nonprofits that you dream of launching that will change this world.
(05:01):
Your friend Mel Robbins is here to tell you that whatever it is that you dream about, I not only know that you can create it and make it true. I believe that you will. That's why I keep showing up to keep you going forward. So today I have something super cool to share with you. I'm going to share a conversation with you that I had a few weeks ago. I was in Oklahoma City and I sat down with a guy by the name of Chris Allen at the Entrepreneur Studio, and I answered all kinds of questions from their audience about the secrets to success. And before we jump in and share that conversation with you, I want to say get a pen because I was on fire that day. I have so many tactics, so many hacks, so many secrets to share with you. And I also want to give a huge shout out to Chris, their team and my awesome friends at Heartland for allowing us to share this insanely motivational coaching session with you.
(05:55):
The first question that you're going to hear is a question I get a lot, Mel, how did you get where you are right now? What is the secret to your success? And the answer is, I pick one thing every year that I want to focus on mastering, and then I have a particular mindset hack that makes me succeed. Let's go. Oh, and by the way, speaking of watching on YouTube, the majority of people that watch our YouTube channel are not subscribers. My goal is to get to at least 50% of the people that watch our channel are subscribers. It is free. You will be supporting me and this remarkable show and supporting my ability to show up and pour into you. So take a second, subscribe. Okay, awesome, thanks.
Chris Allen (06:37):
Alright, question one, how did you successfully transition from being one of the many voices on social media and podcasts discussing everyday life challenges to becoming a prominent figure in the self-help industry? Catherine wants to know, can you share your insights into the strategies that helped you propel to this level?
Mel Robbins (06:57):
Yeah, I think one of the biggest insights is if everything is important, nothing is. I cannot emphasize enough how important it is to have a game plan for a year about what is going to be the singular focus that you're going to really care about the most because you can't care about everything. And so if you think about my career, there's a lot that's public and a lot that's private. So the public facing things in my career are what everybody sees. It's the 10 million followers, it's the hit podcast. It's the books that I've published, but that's not the heart and soul of my business. I have been leapfrogging, remember that game where you hop over the next person and they hop, I've been leapfrogging my way to the position that I'm in now. It's been a toggle between things that I do publicly and things that are happening in the background.
(07:54):
So a lot of people don't realize that I was for many years, the most sought after and booked female speaker on the corporate circuit. I did nothing but go to stages around the world working with the world's biggest brands at these massive sales events or corporate retreats, speaking and teaching and sharing research and training people. And that's where I gained all my expertise is the work I was doing privately that nobody knows about. That's where I started to gain a huge following and a tremendous level of respect and all of this sort of skill that was being built in the background. And so what I want to really have you think about is what is the one thing that you would want to focus on mastering this year? So about six or seven years ago, for me, the one thing I really wanted to master is I wanted to somehow figure out how to take the things going on in private and it part of a social media strategy.
(08:57):
And so I did what I always do with anything I'm trying new that I want to master. I became a student of it before I executed it. And so I studied people six years ago that were doing really cool things on social media like Gary Vaynerchuk. I started studying a lot of the viral companies that repackage and curate information like Upworthy. I mean there's so many OGs.
Mel Robbins (09:20):
I mean now everybody has kind of these viral strategies, but back in the day that was not what everybody did. And so I was looking at Ellen Tube, I was looking at YouTube, I was picking everything apart and I was becoming a student of it. And then I started to apply what I was learning. When I got into the podcast business, I had done audiobooks and audiobook productions for partners like Audible, but I had never launched a podcast.
(09:45):
And so I studied it for two years. I watched meticulously what my buddy Jay Shetty was doing. I watched meticulously what the number one female podcast host was doing, who is Alex Cooper who is on Spotify. She hosts a show called Call Her Daddy, but she's only on Spotify. And so I just meticulously watched the people that I really admired. I watched Howard Stern, I watched Delilah on radio and I picked apart what they were doing. I became a student of it and it took me two years, two years of studying, two years of managing a pivot in my business, but it was the number one thing that I was focused on. The thing that I'm focused on now is YouTube. Now that we launched our podcast and completely destroying it in terms of download numbers and success and reach and growth, now I'm pivoting and I'm now tearing apart YouTube because I see that as the single biggest way to reach more people. And so every move that I've made has been a combination of either something that I've picked privately, like I'm going to be the number one female speaker in the world. That's what I'm going to do. And then I'm became that. I'm going to take all these private conversations and I'm going to figure out how to put those on social media because these conversations between me and somebody at a grocery store or on a sidewalk are way more compelling
Mel Robbins (11:14):
Than these things I'm saying on a stage. And then I'm like, I feel called to launch a podcast. There are 6 million podcasts on Spotify alone. How the hell am I going to do this? How am I going to figure this out? How am I going to change my business? Most podcasts don't make any money. If I stop speaking, where's the money going to come from? How am I going to pay for my team? And so I became a student of it. Now it's about YouTube. What is the kind of content we want to create? What does it feel like? What does successful channels do? I don't want it to look like that. And so pick something for the year that you want to master and become a student of it, then execute. That's my advice.
Chris Allen (11:53):
Good advice. Amy, an entrepreneur from Chicago says, there's so much doom and gloom in the news right now, and sometimes it really gets to me, how can I maintain the optimism needed to stay motivated in the face of so much bad news?
Mel Robbins (12:08):
Amy, stop watching the news. Now, it sounds trite, right? But stop watching the news. First of all, there's profound research around why Sean Anchor, who's a famous happiness researcher out of Harvard, has found in his studies that simply watching a minute of news in the morning can have a negative impact on you for up to six to eight hours all day. And here's why this is critical. The most important resource that you have as a business owner is your time, your attention and your energy. If you are giving your time, your attention and your energy to either negative news or to social media, you are shooting yourself and your business right in the foot. And so I want you to start to take your time, your attention, and your energy very, very seriously because whatever it is that you allow as input profoundly impacts your output.
(13:15):
And one of the first things that you could do is remove watching the news or consuming news from your morning diet. Do not look at it. It does not concern you. I don't watch the news because what I know is that if there is something important going on, everybody around me will be talking about it. Then I can choose to tune in or not. Second thing you should do is you should immediately go to your social media accounts. And I want you to get extremely, just selfish is even the wrong word. I want you to get strategic about the accounts that you follow. This is all input. You are voluntarily giving your attention, time and energy to other accounts, to brands, to influencers, to people. If that input is not lifting you up, is not making you smarter, is not helping you focus in business, delete. If you're scared about what Aunt Suzy Q is going to do when you unfollow her, you can just hit mute. But you have to start taking the input that you are getting profoundly seriously because it does impact the output.
Chris Allen (14:29):
That's good stuff. Alright, Alex, e-commerce clothing store owner in LA asks, when there are lulls and slow times in your small business, how do you decide if it's time to A, hang it up and close your business? B, pivot the direction of your business or C, keep pushing through the slow sales period.
Mel Robbins (14:49):
So I want you to use the four Ps, project, process, product and people. And by the project, I want you to look at any slow period in your business as a research project. That's how we're going to attack this. And when there is a slow period in your business, you are more than capable of figuring out either how to weather it or how to pivot your business to make it work. And so we're going to look at three things because part of the thing that happens when you go through a lull is you start to get emotional about it and you make it personal and you don't turn it into a research project. Any lu in your business is an opportunity to upgrade. You can use these periods as giving you the time back to be able to innovate your own business. And so you're going to look at three things after you've turned this into a research project, you got to look at process, product and people because the innovation and the challenges that you're facing are in one of those three categories.
(15:54):
So process is something about your systems. It could be about shipping. If you're running an e-commerce business, here's what I know, this is a marketing problem because e-commerce businesses are all about marketing. They're all about sales funnels, they're all about the photographs you're taking. They're all about the keywords that you're using. They're all about the campaigns that you're running. They're all about the integrations that you're using with social media. And there is somewhere in the breakdown of your e-commerce business in one of those foundational processes. And so that's number one. Number two, product. Is there something about the product in your e-commerce business? Is it stale? Have you run through the trend on a certain thing? This is really important for you to look at. So process number one, product number two. The third is people. Do you have too many? Do you have the wrong people?
(16:42):
Is your sister still running your social media strategy? Do you need to upgrade to somebody who knows what they're doing or are you the people we're talking about? And if it's you, that means you're not connected to the why anymore. Maybe you started this business because you wanted to make some extra money. It was a real quick win. But now the hustle that's involved, the margins that are involved, you're just not in it as much. So it's not really that there's a lull, it's that you are not putting into it what you need to put into it. So using those four Ps, turn it into a research project. Take a look at your processes, take a look at the product, take a look at the people, including yourself. That's probably the place to start. That is how you're going to figure out the answer to that question.
Chris Allen (17:29):
Great answer. Number three, this is Melanie, also an entrepreneur in la. Launching a startup is hard and I find it easy to get distracted by other projects and jobs. We talked a little bit about this in the episode. How can I keep my motivation and focus on my own business?
Mel Robbins (17:47):
Okay, so what you're describing, Melanie, is the single biggest obstacle to your business. And there is a form of what I call business procrastination where you are busy doing everything but your business, right? You are avoiding the things that feel hard because it's easier to wash the dishes, it's easier to send out that email, it's easier to fold your laundry. It's easier to go to a yoga class, it's easier to fiddle around on Pinterest than to do the actual work to grow your business. And here's the way that I think about this. Number one, first of all, you have done the hardest part, which is having the self-awareness that you're doing it. So that's a really important thing because procrastination, when it comes to things that you need to do or want to do, it can become a habit. And believe it or not, procrastination, when you look at the research, it is triggered by stress.
(18:52):
And when you blow off things that feel hard, you're trying to get relief from your stress. And so your business probably stresses you out. That's why you're doing easier things and that's why you're avoiding it. And so number one, congratulations because you have the self-awareness to realize that you're doing it. My philosophy about everything when I realize I've got a problem is how do I make this easier? How do I make this easier on myself? And so here's what I would recommend. I would think a lot about where do you do your best work? And for me, I'm easily distracted too. And so if I have to get deep work done or I have to do things that I'm avoiding, I get out of my house, I get out of my office, I'll go to a coffee shop. There's something about the ambient noise that actually makes me focus.
(19:40):
The single most effective place for me to work is an airplane seat. Why I'm strapped in there is nowhere to go. The wifi is usually crappy. And so I can open up something that I really need to dig into and I can put my head down and get it done. There's also this concept that I want to explain that has been a game changer for me. There are five zones of time in the day, five zones of time. I finally realized this. This is something I've been researching. I'm like, oh my God, there are five zones of time. So zone number one is when you wake up, you own that time. That is your time. And so many of you just casually hand it over to the internet. You look at your phone, you check your emails. And zone one, in my opinion is the only time that you have that is yours and you have to fight for it. Zone two begins the moment you check your email or your phone or you turn on your TV because you have turned your attention over to someone or something else. Zone three happens the second you start your workday because you have traded your time and attention for a paycheck or you have traded your time and attention to earn profits for your business. That is not your time. Do not get mad at your job. Do not get mad at your business because you are exchanging time and energy and attention in order to get money.
(21:09):
Zone number four typically happens around three when most of us start tapping out in terms of our mindset. But we're still sitting at our business, we're still sitting at work, and it's sort of that blurry zone of you're, you're not going to get any great work done there. And zone four, by the way, also expends into going home. You're cooking dinner, you're doing all this. It's sort of this gray zone of transitioning from work into the rest of your life. Zone five happens when you turn off the TV at the end of the night. That is also time that you could own, but you are probably, unless you're somebody that does your best work at night and you get that kind of night owl thing, you'll be better suited to think about how to get sleep, which you need so that when you wake up tomorrow and you have zone one, you actually know what to do with it.
Chris Allen (22:01):
That's good.
Mel Robbins (22:02):
And so the more that I have focused on zone one and zone five in my life, the more productive I become, the less stressed I become. The more I understand what time throughout the day is what expectations to have around it, the less resentment I feel and it helps a lot.
Chris Allen (22:20):
That's really good. Alright, GIA, owner of the brush bar in Scottsdale is asking, imposter syndrome is real, especially as you try new things and grow in your career. Once you push through and decide to make change or make a change, what are some tangible things you can do in the short term to build your confidence?
Mel Robbins (22:43):
So great question. The research around confidence is very clear. Confidence is not a feeling. Here's a new definition of confidence. Confidence is the willingness to try. Confidence is the willingness to try. And the reason why this definition is critical is because the research shows that confidence as we talk about it, like a feeling is gained from competency. Competency is a fancy word that basically means you know what you're doing and the only way to know what you're doing is to practice it over and over and over again. And when you practice something, you start to gain skills and you lose your resistance and your fear around it. And that's where the feeling of confidence comes in. But in order to gain confidence, which is why I like the definition, you have to be willing to try something you've never done before. And so you have confidence and you display confidence when you're willing to try something.
(23:44):
That's it. And so you got to keep that definition in mind. That's number one. Number two, it really helps me when I'm learning a new skill to imagine a bridge. I believe that all transitions and all like learning curves are just bridges. You start on one side and you have to cross a bridge and it's going to get you to the other side. Some bridges are like that one in San Francisco long, it's covered in clouds. You can't see the other side, but eventually you're going to get there. If you just keep putting one foot in front of the other, you just keep trying. Another thing I want you to understand is that the single most confident thing that anybody could say is a three word sentence, most confident thing. I don't know. When somebody is in a meeting and they're asked a question and you say, I don't know, but I can find out, I dunno, don't you immediately trust that person?
(24:43):
Of course it takes a lot of confidence to just say that in a room. And so what I want you to understand is imposter syndrome only means you're on the bridge. The way you cross the bridge is waking up every day and just trying, just being willing to try. You don't have to have all the answers. You have to have the courage to say, I don't know. And when you focus on just waking up every day and trying, you build the skills which lowers the resistance and fear, which makes you confident, which then makes you catch up to feeling confident.
Chris Allen (25:18):
Super helpful. Number six, GIA has a follow on question. What advice would you give to someone as the thing that helped to propel you the fastest? Was it mentorship, joining communities, hiring, pr, bringing on a partner? What was the thing that changed the game?
Mel Robbins (25:35):
Well, I'll tell you the thing that doesn't. Hiring pr. I personally believe that's a waste of money. Your customers are your single biggest PR and your social media get serious about that and nobody's going to do it as well as you do. So that's number one. Number two, mentorship is great if you have a mentor that has a time to be engaged, otherwise mentorship can feel awesome in the beginning and then you start to feel like you're chasing somebody. So I feel that the fastest things that have propelled me is number one, joining communities. See, the mistake that we always make is we think that our competitors are against us. There is so much success and opportunity to go around the very people that you think you're competing with should be your closest allies because you can learn from 'em. And if you're worried about the people that are in your kind of business around you, get into an online community with other entrepreneurs because when you're in a community, you share back and forth. It's not a one way situation that a mentor can be. You need to be with other people that day in and day out are running a small retail business or running the kind of business that you're running and learn from them. What you'll learn from them is going to pay back dividends that I can't even put money on. Because here's the thing, your family has no idea what you're going through. Your friends have no idea what you're going through. They don't run the business.
(27:06):
But other people, even if they're running a retail business or a service business, it's different than what you're offering. They fricking get it. That's why you're listening to this podcast because we freaking get it. And so the more you're around those communities, the better. Second thing, bringing on a partner, this is a minefield because we think a partner will solve all our problems.
(27:33):
Let me tell you something, the wrong partner will create more problems. And you want to tread very carefully in this area because we way too quickly turn over authority to someone else and give people a stake in something that we've built because we're overwhelmed and because we have not taken the time to truly problem solve where the pain points are in the business. So do not make the mistake of thinking that a partner is going to solve all your problems. The right partner will. But I say this in building my business over the last 10 years, I had a partner who was fantastic and then that partner was really horrible and that partner was also not happy and knew that it was not a good fit. I would recommend that you try to grow and you hire in expertise. And what ends up happening is that the right person as you are hiring an expertise, will start to appear and act like a partner. Now that's for an existing business. If you're starting a business, it's great to start with a partner, then it's not as lonely. But if you have an existing business and you think a partner is going to solve all your problems, you're wrong. I would hire an expertise. And then if the person is partnership material based on how they're operating in the role, that will become evident.
Chris Allen (29:14):
Yeah, yeah, great stuff. Tasha says, as a business owner for a few years now, I've continued my day job to provide for my family and let the business income balance is now been three years and I believe I'm ready to run my business full time. But when do you truly know when it's time to take that leap of faith and how do you justify the pros and cons?
Mel Robbins (29:39):
There's a huge difference between taking a leap of faith and making a decision to step in a business. I'm going to say that again. There is a huge difference between taking a leap of faith and making a decision to step into a business. One of those is just like, let's go. Okay, I'm tired of doing both. The other is a calculated risk where you have looked at cashflow, you understand your budget and the income that you need in order to pay your bills. You have cut back on your spending in order to give yourself a bigger runway. That is a calculated risk and that is the definition of stepping into a business that you've actually looked at the numbers you understand the runway that you have and that you are comfortable tolerating the risk. And the reason why this is important is because too many people make the leap instead of making the decision.
(30:44):
And when you make the leap too soon, you put unnecessary pressure on your business. And when you start to feel the pressure financially, you are not going to perform well as a business owner. And I pulled some research on this because I think this is really important because I do want to acknowledge you, Tasha, for keeping your day job while you let the business income balance. That is a crazy smart decision and it's supported by the research. So I'm going to read here that entrepreneurs who keep their day jobs are more successful. A robust study of entrepreneurs from researchers at University of Wisconsin-Madison found that those who kept their day jobs, at least at first were 33% less likely to fail in their new venture. Adam Grant, the youngest tenured professor at Wharton, university of Pennsylvania School of Business, put it this way, quitting your full-time job to start a company is like proposing marriage on the first date. The most durable businesses are typically started by people who play it safe. Don't go in all guns blazing, started off as a hobby and see if it takes off. That's exactly what you've done, Tasha. You're now three years into this. It is not a hobby. It is taking off. The business income has balanced that you are making a calculated decision based on the research, 33% less likely to fail. So you're a
Chris Allen (32:11):
Genius. Good stuff. Laura, who's an entrepreneur in Kansas City asks, wellness and self-care are all over the place. As a driven entrepreneur, I have a hard time believing in anything but hard work and hitting goals. And that's just so I can grow my business. That said, I'm tired and feel signs of burning out from time to time. What self-care should I invest in? I don't have time for trips to the spa, let alone a vacation.
Mel Robbins (32:41):
So I need you to hear me loud and clear. Wellness and self-care is a business strategy. This is so important because entrepreneurs in particular are horrible at life balance, and I shouldn't even use that word, life balance because there is really no balance. You're always going to be working. No one's going to care as much as about your business as you. But here's what I want you to understand, and this was a huge wake up call for me. When you are constantly burning the candle at all ends, you're frying your nervous system. There is research from Dr. Judith Willis out of UCLA who studies the connection between a stressed out nervous system and brain functioning when your nervous system is on edge because you are working all the time and everything's important because nothing is, and you think busyness is success and you think everything has to be done today and you are up until the wee hours and you have no life and you are constantly thinking and constantly on your phone, you are not able to tap into the full capacity of executive functioning.
(34:05):
Your sympathetic nervous system, which is your fight, fight, freeze, overworking, entrepreneurial nervous system impairs your prefrontal cortex. So your speed of processing, your working memory, your clarity, your ability to engage in strategic thinking and decision-making impaired. And I'm on a mission to get every entrepreneur and small business owner to understand that your nervous system regulation, meaning being able to have moments where you can take a breath, where you can drop into your body, where you're not on your phone, this isn't for wellness. This is so that your business is better and it makes sense. Can you drive a car 24 hours a day? No, you'll fry the engine, you'll run out of gas. You're doing the same thing to yourself and it is killing your business. And one of the things that I've done in the last three years is when I read this research from Dr. Judith Willis, it was during the pandemic and I realized I have since 2014 been sprinting and working a hundred hour weeks and calling it success.
(35:28):
And when I finally went, wait a minute, how could I possibly be the best I could be in this? If I never take a break, how could I possibly make good decisions? If I'm running from this thing to this thing to this thing, how could I possibly innovate or be smarter about what I'm doing if I am always on my phone and always in the middle of a fire? The fact is you can't. And so this is not about self-care, this is about ritualizing in your daily routine, the ability to take a pause to step away so that your fricking brain can help you because you're not helping your brain if you're operating like this. And the other thing that I can't stand is that we've sort of romanced this hustle culture, which might work for single guys, but it does not work for anybody with a family.
(36:26):
It does not work for people that are taking care of kids. It does not work for most women. And if you're working all the time, you're not working smart. And so here's what I would say. Here's some things that I think you need to do. And this is not about a spa, it's not about a vacation. But if you think taking a vacation is a problem, that's a problem because you do need to step away. The research is also very clear that you'll come up with your best ideas when you are away from your business. You'll come up with your best ideas when you're taking a bath. You'll come up with your best ideas when you're outside taking a walk without your phone. So true or without listening to anything in your ears. And so here's some simple things that I do that I see as not only self-care and wellness and for my health, but I see this as essential pieces of my business.
Mel Robbins (37:18):
So I wake up when the alarm rings and I roll out of bed. The phone is not near me. I do not look at my phone because this is zone one of the five zones of time I make my bed. I always make my bed first thing in the morning because there's this momentum to just having it done. I walk into the bathroom, I have 16 ounces of water. I keep a mason jar right there, and I just drink 16 ounces of water. I look in the mirror, I high five myself into the day, and then I get outside and I take a minimum of a 10 minute walk. And here's the thing about the walk. I walk like I'm light. And if I remember to, I try to smile occasionally. Now, the reason why I'm taking this walk, I might have my phone and my fanny pack with my dog treats because I take my dog and I literally walk down the driveway and walk back up 10 minutes walking like you're late. First of all, I'll add years on your life. Secondly, it's a way to boost your mood. Third, you are getting exposure to bright light, which resets your circadian rhythms, which will help you with sleep hugely important.
(38:29):
So 10 minutes walk like you're late outside. That's my walk. I haven't looked at my phone yet. Really, really, really important. Next thing, I sit down and I just have a notebook and I just kind of freeform dump my thoughts. I typically have all kinds of ideas that come while I'm outside. And also, you're not listening to anything. You're not on the phone, you're not listening to a podcast, you're not looking at social media when you're walking. You are letting all five senses come alive. There's always some kinds of ideas. I write down all my ideas and then I pick the one thing that is my priority for the day. The one thing, that's it. That's it. I know that my whole day is going to go to responding to things, but there is one thing that I can inch forward the progress principle, make 15 minutes of progress, right? Then I always send a quick text or video message to friend or family member. That's changed loneliness for me. It's made me really proactive about friendships, which has been a game changer. And then I grab my hot 15. And when I grab my hot 15, hot 15 for me is 15 minutes, making progress on something that matters. And then I'm allowed to look at email and that's when zone two starts. And the only other variation on this is after my walk. If I do have time, that's when I'll get exercise in.
(40:00):
That's it. That's it. That right there is wellness. It's protecting my mind. And the other thing that has made a huge difference for me is prioritizing sleep. The more successful I get, the older I get, the earlier I go to bed. Because your sleep is not just about you resting. It is profoundly important for memory. It is profoundly important for your brain health and it literally makes me better at the work that I do. And it sure as hell makes me more money. So you'll make more money when you start to take your brain health and breaks from work and being smarter about time on and time off way more seriously.
Chris Allen (40:49):
Yeah, I love the trade that you said earlier about trading some of your zone five for your zone one, which is your time. Really awesome stuff. Self-care is a business strategy. Alright, last question. Laura's asking, I have a business idea, but I'm scared to execute because I don't know how I could possibly balance life as a busy entrepreneur with being a wife and a mom, being a woman entrepreneur seems impossible. What tips do you have, Mel?
Mel Robbins (41:17):
So this is a question about self-doubt. That's all that this is. And I don't know what messaging Laura has gotten, but I personally think being a female entrepreneur is one of the most amazing things you could do for your kids because you are modeling what it looks like to have something purposeful in your life that means something to you. And waking up every morning and doing the work to chip away at it. And to every mom and dad out there, you want your kids to live a life where they pursue something meaningful to them. Well, who's going to teach 'em that you are? And so that's number one. Number two is because this is about self-doubt. Maybe you didn't have female entrepreneurs in your life. Maybe you've been getting a lot of messaging about what your role is. You've got to change the story and there is something that we can provide to you or whatever. But it's something that I use called the Iceberg model. It is a design systems thinking model where you take a look at how the story that you tell yourself ladders up to the actions that you're actually taking. So the story that you tell yourself, which already we know, is I can't balance life as an entrepreneur. I can't be a business owner as a wife and a mom. Being a woman entrepreneur is impossible. That's the story you're telling.
Chris Allen (42:41):
Oh yeah.
Mel Robbins (42:42):
So then that ladders up to this belief that it's going to be impossible for me to do this, which then ladders up to the actions that you're taking, which is you're not. You're just thinking and just thinking that this is impossible, yet still wanting to do it ladders up to the ultimate thing, which is of course you don't have any results. Of course you haven't done it. If the story that you're telling yourself is that, how could I possibly balance this? So we have to attack this at the story level. And here's the thing that's missing, Laura, you have a business idea, but I don't know why you want to do this.
(43:25):
Just having a business idea isn't enough. How many times have you been in a conversation and somebody's like, I thought of Uber before they did. Okay, great. So here's a metal. You didn't do anything about it. And this is where the rubber meets the road. And so couple pieces of advice. Number one, the idea's not enough. I'd do some work on why would you want to do this for yourself? Would it make you proud to do this? Would it make you feel awesome to create some extra income and be able to do some fun things for the family and for yourself? Is this idea something that feels like it might bring out a part of you, your creativity service that has gone dormant because you've poured so much into the role of being a wife and a mom, which is an amazing thing to do, but there's something about you individually that you haven't tended to? Is that what this is about? So figure that out. And then I would 1000% try to model up from a different story that being a female entrepreneur is one of the best things I could do for myself and my family. And if you believe that, you'll start to see actions that you could take and you'll start to see results happening. And so I would start with the belief. I would start with why I would then start working at this story that you're telling yourself and change it. Not impossible, not at all.
(45:00):
There's millions and millions and millions of us, and in fact, there are more of us every single day. And I think it's the single greatest thing that you could do as a woman. And then the final thing is, I would a thousand percent take on the role of being a student of this. Look at your social media. Who are you following? Are you following celebrities and you're just gawking at their lives? Or are you following female entrepreneurs that are every single day in your social media feed your board of directors and mentors that are pouring into you and inspiring you and showing you that you could do this? And so I would spend a student, I would spend a year being a student. And what'll happen is it's not going to take a year. Because if you were to get rid of all the influencers and start following women in business and consuming this content and allowing it to pour into you, you're going to start to realize, oh my God, it's not only possible. All these people are doing it and it looks really fun, and I think I could do this and I think it would be really cool. And I think that something would come alive in me. And all of a sudden you're going to want to do it and everything's going to flip
Chris Allen (46:10):
Well. These questions, they represent thousands of people and we only picked a few. If you were to summarize everything that you sort of heard and you had one thing to say in summary to all of these possible thousands of questions out there, what would you say?
Mel Robbins (46:31):
The single biggest obstacle that is in your way is the self-doubt and the internal critic. Anytime you're going to try something new, whether it is a new business strategy or a new product line, or a new pricing model on a service or a new piece of technology or a new role that you're hiring for in your business, every time you do it, it's a risk. You are stepping into the unknown. It's true.
(47:04):
And in those moments where you're about to try something new, fear is always going to show up. It's always going to be there. You're always going to hesitate. And the secret is expecting the fear and understanding that fear is literally just a sign that you're about to try something. And even though you feel nervous or afraid or you start it, you can still lean into it. You can still do it. And I can give you an example of this. We all struggle with it. What do you think the most famous tagline for any brand is in the whole world?
Chris Allen (47:43):
Just
Mel Robbins (47:44):
Do it. Just do it,
Chris Allen (47:44):
Right?
Mel Robbins (47:45):
Yeah. What is the most powerful word in that tagline?
Chris Allen (47:49):
Do
Mel Robbins (47:49):
No.
Chris Allen (47:50):
Okay.
Mel Robbins (47:51):
Just,
Chris Allen (47:51):
Alright.
Mel Robbins (47:53):
You want to know why?
Chris Allen (47:53):
Tell me why.
Mel Robbins (47:57):
Think about Nike's tagline being do it. Is that that inspiring?
Chris Allen (48:04):
No,
Mel Robbins (48:05):
Just do. It just acknowledges this moment of hesitation
Chris Allen (48:13):
That we can all relate to.
Mel Robbins (48:14):
Yeah.
Chris Allen (48:15):
Yeah.
Mel Robbins (48:15):
Every athlete standing on the sideline, hesitating about jumping in the game. Every person at the starting line hesitating as they're in the starting blocks, there is that just moment in every decision that you make. And what I'm here to tell you is that we all feel it. It's there every single day. And that is where your whole life plays out. Are you going to stand on the sideline and think about it and talk yourself out of it and wait another day and another week and another year and then all of a sudden a decade goes by? Or are you going to feel that hesitation and just do it? What did I tell you? Are you ready to just go do it? I bet you are. There was so much wisdom in this, but I want to remind you of one other really important thing, knowing it's not enough.
(49:24):
We got to take all this knowledge, all this inspiration, all of these tactics, and translate it into a skill. And that means get your butt off of the sideline, get out of the stands and go 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. Do the thing you've been thinking about doing. I promise you getting started is the hardest part. You have everything that you need. You have your friend Mel Robbins behind you. And one more thing in case nobody else tells you. I want to tell you I love you and I believe in you, and I believe in your ability to create a better life. Now, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. Just do it. And thank you so much for being here with me on YouTube. Thank you for sharing this. If you've got something out of it, please, please, please subscribe. And up next more coaching. Check this video up.
Resources
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- Forbes: Why word of mouth marketing is the most important social media.
- Wired Magazine: Entrepreneurs, don’t quit your day job (yet).
- National Institutes of Health: How procrastination and stress are related.
- Harvard Business: How to take better breaks at work, according to research.
- The Washington Post: Why do we procrastinate and how do we stop?
- MIT Management: 3 traits of an entrepreneurial mindset.
- Inc. Magazine: Need a confidence boost? The research of taking action.
- Harvard Business Review: Relationship between competence and confidence.
- Frontiers: Seeing you in action makes you seem more confident.
- Harvard Business Review: The progress principle—the power of small wins.
- Nat. Library of Medicine: Good daily habits early in life impact later success.
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