You’ve made allll kinds of changes to your life and still you’re having negative thoughts. Or still procrastinating. Or your self-doubt is creeping in the back door.
You’re moody, your cravings are back, and you’re losing sight of your goals.
Let me pull up a stool beside you and say, Yes! ME The Hell TOO!
It’s frustrating when you feel that you FINALLY caught the Motivation Express and that daily 3 p.m. double espresso wasn’t even your ticket on.
No, instead this time you had the right tools and you knew what to do. You made a mindset shift. Your goals were in sight and every day you were making progress. You were on fire and could.not.be.stopped!
Unnnntil you were.
Maybe you lost your job or got transferred. Maybe the kids were home from school or you went away on vacation. Maybe absolutely nothing out of the ordinary happened and one day you just didn’t do the things anymore.
And now you’re beating yourself up.
Welcome to the I Feel You Club. There are many members here. Millions, in fact. Maybe billions. (I haven’t checked the latest count.) And we’ve all done the same.
Here’s what I have learned about change, and please hear this as you read it:
Change is a process. Not an event. And it’s as smelly as the inside of my suitcase after a week on the road. You will move ten steps forward and two steps back. You may fall into a hole. Or get lost. Or sit down in the middle of it all and cross your arms and refuse to move.
Whatever happens, the point is that starting and stopping the positive changes in your life is 100% n-o-r-m-a-l.
You wouldn’t shift your car into drive and keep moving in the same direction for the rest of your trip, would you? No, you’d have to turn and detour and reverse and stop to fuel up every now and then.
It’s the same with real life. And it doesn’t mean you’re a loser. It doesn’t mean you don’t have willpower. You are not broken. So please stop telling yourself that you are.
The next time you start feeling this way, here’s what I want you to do:
Do something small. 5-4-3-2-1 use the 5 second rule to jumpstart you into action again.
Remember you have 5 seconds before your brain talks you out of doing something. Take action before it does.
1. Start small.
Don’t hit the snooze button tomorrow. Go 24 hours without complaining. Plug your phone outside of your bedroom when you go to bed tonight. Once you start nailing the little things again, you’re gonna feel more motivated to keep going.
2. Scale it down.
I’m gonna bet that right now you’re focusing on everything you’re NOT doing. And you’re looking so darn high up to where you used to be, or to where you want to be, that you’re thinking “Holy cow! How do I even start?”
I’m telling you right now that thinking like that will paralyze you so cut it out. Shrink your think. Take a deep breath and refer back to #1. Listen for more about this here: The secret to making progress on your goals.
3. Keep your friends close and your enemies blocked.
Mindset can be fickle so you need friends in your life who keep you inspired.
That doesn’t mean they have to shoot rainbows from Cupid arrows and their social media feeds glow with positivity. It means you hang with friends who aren’t afraid to be authentic but who share the values you aspire to live.
Bottom line: you’re not gonna feel like doing what you have to do all the time. That’s the truth and it makes you human. Don’t beat yourself up for leaning into the lazy space now and then. Just don’t claim that space as your new identity.
You have places to go and goals to crush.