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The truth about why you doubt yourself

Mel Robbins
January 8, 2020
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**This blog post is part of my FREE training for 2020 called Best Decade Ever. You can sign up here at any time by going to MelRobbins.com/BestDecade**

Now that you’re a few days into writing down your dreams in your #DreamBook for #BestDecadeEver, I bet more than once that little annoying voice in your head has popped up.

You know the one. The one saying “You think you can do that? Yeah right!” Or “You’re way too old for that.” Or one I’ve heard from so many of you: “You’ve already failed so many times. What makes you think this will be different?”

My all-time favorite is, “You don’t deserve it.”

If this is happening to you, know that you’re not alone. I even saw this comment in our Best Decade Ever Facebook Group yesterday:

“I’m having trouble with my inner voice. I dream to be a best-selling author and my mind brings up all the reasons I can’t. I dream of being a speaker and helping people realize they are stronger than they think they are and again my mind makes a checklist of why this can’t happen.”

Those little negative thoughts that pop into your head are called limiting beliefs, and those suckers are liars.

Limiting beliefs are the thoughts that ruminate in your brain and hold you back from doing the things you truly want. It’s the negative self-talk that stops you every time you try to push yourself out of your comfort zone. It’s the discouraging thing someone said to you in the past that you can’t seem to let go of.

So, where did they even come from?

Remember when you were little and someone would ask you what you want to be when you grow up? You probably answered with something exciting or flashy, like a rockstar, a professional sports player, or a famous actor. It’s so easy to dream big when you’re young and the world doesn’t feel so scary.

I’m sure all those out-of-this-world dreams were accepted and even encouraged- until you started to get a little older. And then all the negativity from others started to creep in.

Do you know that kids are told no 400x a day? Four HUNDRED times! No wonder it’s so easy to start to tell yourself “no.” And as you get older, there are so many experiences that contribute to what your limiting beliefs are.

Maybe you spoke up in class and it didn’t go well, and now you’ve been telling yourself that you don’t have anything valuable to say for the last 30 years. You could have gone through a terrible relationship where they told you you were worthless, and you started to believe them. Maybe you got fired or laid off and now you think that you’re not smart enough.

As you get older, those negative thoughts become our default way of thinking. They become a habit.

Here’s the really tricky part: those limiting beliefs will influence how you act. And it’ll start to feel like they’re real.

My limiting belief is that I think I’m a bad person. In the past, it made me a liar because I assumed that I wasn’t good enough so I thought I had to pretend to be somebody else. It also made me cheat on people because I didn’t think I deserved love. And doing all those things? Well, that made me act like a bad person. I was proving it to myself. I used all the terrible things I did as evidence that I was a bad person. The cycle went on and on until I made the choice to stop listening to those lies.

We all carry this baggage around with us, but you don’t have to give those thoughts any weight.

You have a choice to make. You can either give in to your default thoughts and keep repeating them or get deliberate and evolve from them.

So what does this have to do with your dreams? Absolutely everything. You will not get anywhere if you’re busy cheering against yourself. It’s time to go to war against the lies you’re telling yourself so that you can have the life you’ve always dreamed of.

The first step is acknowledging what your limiting beliefs are. I’m sure they’ve popped up as you’ve been writing in your dream book. Today, use the notes section to jot a couple of them down as they come up.

Tomorrow, I’m going to give you a simple but incredibly powerful mind trick called Think This, Not That that will help you start to reprogram your brain. It’s all about mastering the skill of switching out your negative, default thoughts with new, positive ones.

If you want to know more about limiting beliefs, check out this powerful video from last year’s #MindsetReset program.

 

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