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The 3 biggest dream killers, and how to beat them

Mel Robbins
January 15, 2020
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This blog post is part of my FREE training for 2020 called Best Decade Ever. You can sign up here at any time by going to MelRobbins.com/BestDecade

If you’re one of the thousands of people reaching out to me saying “Mel, I just can’t get started” or “I know what I should be doing, I just can’t seem to do it,”– this post is going to change everything for you.

First, you have to know that there is nothing wrong with you. You aren’t lazy, you aren’t unmotivated, and you are definitely capable. Repeat after me: there is nothing wrong with you.

You just have habits that are getting in the way of your dreams. And that’s great news! Why? Because you can change any habit.

Watch the video above to find out what the 3 most common habits that will kill your dreams are, and then read this post for more resources on how you can change them. There’s tons of extra video content 

Procrastination:

I lived my entire life thinking that I was a procrastinator. I thought it was just part of my personality– and that was a great excuse to do nothing about it. Then I came across a piece of research about the real reason we procrastinate that changed my life: You are not a procrastinator. You just have a habit of procrastinating.

Procrastination has nothing to do with the work. Absolutely nothing. Procrastination is just a form of stress relief.

When you have big dreams, the work you need to do can be scary and intimidating. It’s something new, and our brains don’t like that. So you get stressed, and you avoid it, and it becomes a habit.

There’s a really simple way to beat this habit using the 5 Second Rule, and I explain it in this video.

Perfectionism:

There’s a simple reason why you’re so focused on perfection: you think that if you get it perfect, no one will criticize you. You can’t fail if you get it perfect.

If this sounds familiar to you, you’re falling into perfectionism paralysis, and it will kill your dreams. I know because I’ve lived it. It caused me to re-write the manuscript of the 5 Second Rule not once, but twice.

It wasn’t until my business partner Mandy told me about something called the Good Enough Principle that I was able to let go of my vision of the perfect book and just get it done. Was it perfect? Absolutely not. Almost every day someone emails me about a typo. But that didn’t stop it from being a huge success, selling a million copies to date.

Waiting to be perfect is holding you back. The truth is that someone will always have something to say about what you’re doing. You’re always going to make mistakes, and that’s a good thing. The best lessons are in the mistakes. It’s where all the learning is. It’s where the gold is.

No one wants to hear from someone who is perfect. Seriously– there’s a whole psychological principle called the Pratfall Effect that proves that people like you more when you make mistakes.

You can learn more about it in this Coffee Talk that’s all about perfectionism, but prepare yourself, because this video sure isn’t perfect!

Waiting:

If you feel stuck, I can guarantee it’s because you’re waiting for something.

Waiting for the right time. Waiting for the right person. Waiting to feel motivated. Waiting until you feel ready. Waiting for permission. Waiting for a sign.

Whatever you’re waiting for, it’s not coming.

You’re looking for an external force to come and push you to do the work for you, or start the project, or give you your big break. You’re looking in the wrong place.

The only force that will create change in your life is you. Success and happiness come from the internal forces– and that’s you. It’s why I think motivation is garbage.

Watch the full clip on waiting here to see what I was waiting on, and what happened when I finally went for it.

 

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