Mel Robbins: the blog

Want to know how to get Mel to Show up at YOUR house? Read this blog.

Do you actually believe that watching a TV show or reading a blog can lead to real change?

Silly notion, right? Well, if you believe it’s silly let me save you some time. Just stop reading now. The rest of what I have to say is of no interest to you.

I host a daily radio show - Make It Happen with Mel Robbins (click here to listen right now online); I host a celebrity interview series for Borders books; I work with Kaplan to create coaching products for kids to master the mental game behind the SATs and I’ve just signed on as a regular contributor to Donny’s show.

Everything I do is about one thing - helping people make changes in their life, on their terms, according to their goals - (and where ever possible having a hell of a lot fun doing it).

Over the last decade I’ve spoken with thousands of people who are stuck.

When you feel stuck, you feel isolated, reactionary and worried.

And that’s exactly how Rick and Sandie felt when they got blindsided by a layoff.

Rick and Sandie watched a TV show that lead to their biggest dreams coming true.

They are huge fans of Donny’s show - and watch religiously. They learned about me from the show and started listening to my syndicated radio show every day online.

As soon as Rick got laid off - Sadie emailed me immediately at radio@melrobbins.com sharing her story and asking for advice.

I knew a lot of folks could relate to their problem so I forwarded their email onto Donny. And Donny in turn sent me to California to work a little Big Idea magic.

But what resulted from a simple email - is really quite extraordinary:

*Rick avoided making a huge mistake. Instead of getting yet another job - he started a whole new chapter in his life. One where he was in control.

*He realized that his passion in life - is sales. Only he could never tap it because he was always doing it for someone else…lack of control clouded his enjoyment.

*He stopped looking for a product to sell and a job to land and started to take control and tapped into his passion by seeing himself and his sales expertise as the product.

*He sent out proposals as a sales consultant instead of resumes. In 6 days flat he has landed two clients. He launched a website www.rickaudette.com and a LinkedIn profile.

Change can be so simple. Help is really so close.

So send the email. Tell me your story. Describe what’s got you stuck. And yes, I might just hop a flight, come to your house, listen to you and help you solve your problem - because helping you get unstuck in life - is my calling.

You read this blog.

Sending the email is up to you.

Yes I am just as cool looking as you imagined. Thanks to JBK for the photo!

Reinventing yourself isn’t something that you necessarily plan. It’s a way
of dealing with life. It is a way of allowing for possibilities. Hard to
understand? Probably. Well, here is how I look at life. Hobbled together
from actual events in my life, the life of my kids and others - the
question: What would you do? The answer: finding out if you are ready to
reinvent yourself.

1. You are 10 years old and you are known to be stingy among your friends.
You’re not cheap, you just don’t pull down an allowance. You:
a. start your own lemonade stand on the weekends to earn a little extra
coin.
b. ignore the taunts of your friends. With friends like that, who needs
enemies.

2. Now it’s your sophomore year of high school. You hear that everyone,
everyone cool that is, is going spelunking. You have no idea what that is.
You:
a. Find out it has to do with climbing through caves and even though it
freaks you out, you figure out how to get involved.
b. Decide you’ll start your own after school event. Something cooler
and something you’ll be great at.

3. Enrolling in college. Your parents are paying and insist your
education have a solid foundation and that you major in business. You:
a. Figure out how to explain to them that a Liberal Arts degree is just
fine, they already had their shot and now’s yours. If they didn’t want to
pay for it fine, but they’ll have to live with the guilt.
b. Dislike business classes, but they are pulling the purse strings and
it would be smart to be prepared for the job market after college.

4. After college, you wanted to work in environmental law. So you apply
to the best environmental law school. On the first day of classes, you hate
everything about the school and within 10 minutes of arriving:
a. You repack your car and drive off.
b. Stick with it. You can always transfer if things really don’t pan
out.

5. You wake up one morning and say to myself, “I’m completely through
with being an attorney.”
a. You start to network like crazy and parlay a hobby-like interest in
self-help into a brand defining job as Director of Content at a company
which will later become the leader in online quizzes.
b. You sit down and immediately make a detailed plan - how you will
segue out of law in the next three years leveraging your existing corporate
contacts.

6. You hire a life coach to help you stay on track writing a novel about
your crazy relatives.
a. You decide this life coaching thing is kinda cool - ditch the novel
and pursue coaching instead.
b. You complete a first draft of your novel and thank the coach for his
help and focus on getting it published.

7. Now you’re out and about at parties marketing yourself as a Life
Coach. A guy asks you if you can help him get organized now that he’s
running a brokerage firm.
a. You say, “sure,” hoping he’ll never find out that I don’t know the
first thing about life coaching or Wall Street.
b. Take his card that day and within six months you’re fully ready to
turn his company around, which you do, of course, with flying colors.

8. Next you’re an established corporate and career coach. If you can
produce a talk show live every day from 9 to 10am with no training for no
salary and without a staff, you can have a show on Sirius Satellite Radio.
a. You call your spouse and explain you’re about to re-invent yourself
into the host of a call in advice radio show, starting Monday.
b. You realize this is your wake-up call and get a media and vocal coach
and you’re ready to hit the airwaves in little as four months.

Score +1 for every A. Score +2 for every B.
8 - 10 You know exactly what Mel would do. You know that
in order to re-invent yourself you need to lean into life. That means when
life gives you lemons, you sell the lemonade. And if you hate lemonade, you
drink the damn water! Welcome to my ‘go with your gut’ club. (If you want
to hear my daily radio show just click here - its streams live on line and
is syndicated nationally on Terrestrial Radio.)
11 + Sorry to tell you, but you aren’t ready yet.
You have to be ready when things are thrown at you. When you stop saying,
‘yes’ things stop coming your way and you’re in a rut. Want out of that
rut. I can help. Just shoot me an email and I’ll have you on my radio show
and I’ll coach you out of it - right now. Do it right now. One email and I
will help you re-invent the rest of your life: radio@melrobbins.com

Are you a cubicle worker who dreams of having a career that requires extensive travel? How about a bored housewife who is ready to become a successful entrepreneur? Reinventing yourself might seem scary at first, but I guarantee it’s easier than you think.

Just like inventing a product – you have to be very clear about the size, shape and characteristics of what you want to become. The more descriptive you are the better and for two good reasons. The first is so you can figure out how to move toward it and the second is so that you start to convince yourself that it is real. As humans we have an enormous fraud factor when it comes to trying something new. The fear of being “found out” holds a lot of people back from going for it. Having a clear understanding of who and what you want to be will up your confidence and make your goal feel a lot more real.

Act the part: I tell people all the time on my radio show that they should start answering the question, “What do you do for a living?” with what they want to become. So the next time someone asks you that question – respond with your heart instead of your mind.

Dress the part: During an interview I did with Donald Trump he told me when he started in development be bought the best suit he could find so that he looked as if he were already what he wanted to become. After all, seeing is believing.

Find smaller ways to become what you want NOW, without worrying about the big picture: You want a radio show? Start one on blogtalkradio.com and start doing a small show. Ta-Dah – you are now a radio show host.

Right after Madonna, I’m the Queen of reinvention. I’ve gone from criminal defense attorney to corporate litigation. After that I went into content development for a web company. I didn’t stop there – I then became the Senior Vice President of strategy for a tech company. When I was done with that I started running business development for an ad agency. After that I launched my executive coaching business. There’s more – I’ve also hosted a TV show and now I host a radio program. On top of all that I’ve created coaching sessions with Kaplan for students facing the SAT. I’m still not done.

If you need a little extra push to reinvent yourself send me an email at radio@melrobbins.com. I know the steps to take to become the person you’ve always dreamed of being.

On the show yesterday we had on Rick and his son Brandon. Brandon was born with a cleft lip and palate. One day Brandon came home from school and decided he wanted to tell the story of what life is like for someone born with this condition. That’s how “My Puzzling Smile” was born. Brandon wants people to notice him - not his scars. He’s trying to get the word out about his book and I’m here to help him. To order the book visit www.cleftbooks.biz. His mother has also written a book about what life is like for parents of children with cleft lips and palates. It’s called “Don’t Despair Cleft Repair.” You can order her book from the same website.

Again, the website is www.cleftbooks.biz. Order your book today and help spread a little understanding.

You actually risk more than you know by never taking risks. I’ll let that statement settle in for a second. You ready? Let’s jump in.

First, let’s change the definition we associate with the word risk. It doesn’t mean you have to strap on a cape and leap off a cliff like a superhero. It’s about leaning in and making a subtle shift towards a different direction. When a situation arises that requires a risky decision – take that as evidence you’re on the right track instead of a red flag.

Nancy Reagan coined the term “just say no.” I say “just say yes” in life. Take little risks every day. Talk to strangers. Raise your hand. Make that call. These will get your risk taking muscles warmed up so that over time no risk will seem too big. We’re all natural risk takers. Thinks about kids, they’ll scamper up trees or feed the dog meatloaf under the table without worrying about how to get down or if mom is going to be mad. As adults we do our best to stay out of jams by over analyzing, reassessing and playing it safe.

That being said, there is a difference between taking a good risk and a stupid one. A stupid risk has absolutely no upside. None. You know it’s a good risk to take when you can break it down into smaller risks that all add up to a big one. This will also make taking the risk feel and be, for a lack of a better word, risky.

So remember, taking risks is essential for success. You can’t grow without stretching yourself. You simply cannot. If you need help, I’ll be your trainer. Just send me an email at radio@melrobbins.com and we’ll take it from there. It might be one of the best risks you ever take.

Now get out there and introduce yourself to your neighbor.

L-R: Intern - Leigh, Middle Child - Kendall, Producer - Nicole

Probably the number one problem my listeners call in with is not knowing what their passion is. They want to be able to make loads of money doing something they enjoy. What most don’t realize it that unlike money, passion is not a tangible object. It’s a state of being.

You can’t hold passion in your hand and paint a portrait with it - that’s what a paintbrush is for, and besides, passion is not a “thing” like a paintbrush or the art you create with one. Passion is the feeling you get while you’re creating that art. It’s a thing you pursue, not something you have. You don’t even have to be that good at what you’re doing - as long as doing it makes you feel invincible.

So what is it that you do that makes you feel like you’ve just bitten into the softest, warmest chocolate chip cookie that’s been dipped in milk? Remove the thought of any monetary compensation and dig deep inside of you. And let me tell you, finding something that soothes your soul is better than any type of pay day.

I found mine. And it’s not about being on radio or TV. My passion is experiencing that moment when someone gets it. That moment when they see the thing they need to see to change their life. My passion is connecting someone with the truth, with insight, with clarity, with resources, with whatever they need. And now that I now what my passion is - I can take that passion anywhere - to radio, tv, books, a dinner party, a conversation on a chairlift.

Passion isn’t a thing. It’s a purpose that you take everywhere you go.

So what’s yours? Start thinking.

Yes at some point the proverbial *&^% will hit the fan. It might be in your personal life, your business life - at some point, disaster will strike.

For me it was personal. My son was born with Hirschsprung’s Disease and needed a month in the NICU and several surgeries. With two kids at home and two businesses to run, being at the hospital 24/7 was a disaster.

For my husband, he also had a disaster in his business. It was the third location of his restaurant, www.stonehearthpizza.com After 18 months of struggle, he and his partner had to close it. The build out costs and lost investment associated with the failure almost sunk the entire company. This just happened 4 months ago. And, they survived and are now they are opening up another one.

What got us through it?

Yes we had insurance.
Yes we had a great attorney.
Yes we had business plans and a good accountant.

What got us through those personal and business crises was our personal network. The relationships that we had built over the previous decade got us out of the worst disasters of our lives. Our network provided us the introductions, the recommendations, the babysitting, the carpooling, the pat on the back, the cold beer and the invaluable counsel that we needed most, when we needed it.

You gotta problem? What is your network like? If you don’t have a great one - my advice: start right now to build and nurture one. How do you do that? Its easy. Be interested in people and what they are up. And when they need you - step up and help. It will come back a thousand fold.

Got a problem right now - and no real network to turn to - all you have to do is turn to me.
I host a radio show and I would be happy to be in your network. All you have to do is email me at radio@melrobbins.com.

- Mel

Sure you can reach out to your insurance company when you get into a car accident, but who can you turn to when your husband needs emergency surgery and the kids have school tomorrow? To me, having a solid network of friends and colleagues is a lot more beneficial than relying on a guy in a suit to cover your ass. For one, the people you have personal relationships with are on call 24 hours a day. When my son was in the hospital for a week, I depended on friends and neighbors to help keep my other children in a secure routine. This prevented the usual chaotic situation that arises from an unexpected circumstance. The same can’t be said for the people who send you a monthly bill for their services.

That brings me to ask the question - who can you turn to in a time of need? Do you have a support system that will be there to fill in the gaps when you are simply not able to? If not, who can you reach out to to make sure your life never skips a beat? If you’re struggling with the latter, shoot me an email at radio@melrobbins.com. I’ll help you set up your life to ensure you never have to worry about a crisis. Believe me, I have first hand experience on the importance of close and personal relationships - and not the kind that come with a contract to sign.